To be annoyed by anti-Alabama posts?

[Bere111]

For context, I’m not prolife or pro choice...i wouldn’t have an abortion myself but I know that largely because I’ve never been in those desperate circumstances, so equally would never judge someone who had.
But all the anti-Alabama posts I’ve seen this week by women in the UK I find pretty ill informed.
For example, most not knowing it is still banned in Northern Ireland- part of the UK.
Also, people saying it’s ‘healthcare’ - I don’t believe this is true. I think it should be a crisis service, and making it sound routine trivialises it for me.
People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right. It’s a women choice to get pregnant or not get pregnant of course, but unless that girl or women fell pregnant through no choice of their own (in which can of course she should have access to abortion) I’m not sure once she’s actually pregnant she should then just be free to opt in or opt out.
I fell pregnant by accident with ds1, I was very newly married, had a well paid job and owned a house but was younger then I’d planned to be (27)- yet I had 3 people ask ‘god, what are you going to do???’ Which I found bizarre.
Most people’s opinion of abortion (including mine!) is formed on the fact that for those that are victims of rape or incest, or the health of the mother or baby is in question, or for example the mother is under 18 or even under 21, the time they need to have a safe solution to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
However, I know that only about 3% of abortion happen for the reason above. The rest the nhs classify as lifestyle factors.
I’m sure many women may be masking issues by telling the motivating reason for the termination is just a lifestyle factor, but even so I still think many, many abortion take place because of poor planning and poor timing.
I’ve had 2 close friends have terminations in our late 20s, both of which went on to have children with the same partner a few years later. Although I supported their choice, I didn’t really understand it. They were both preoccupied with the idea that the timing wasn’t right- even though they wanted children and wanted children with the current partners.
I think we put far to much pressure of ourselves that we have to do things in the right order- so then when a pregnancy comes along that wasn’t on the timeline, we freak out- even if we are perfectly capable of parenting at that time.
I also think something most be going wrong with how we are approaching contraception, especially as the fastest growing segment of women needing abortion are 30+ and have ahead previous abortions. Can women not access contraception easily or could giving more education around ovulation cycles help this (this is pretty common place in countries like Germany from secondary school age, and women generally avoid sex when they’re ovulating- even when using another form of contraception)
I guess all in all I think it’s a really complex matter- and I don’t think we have it totally right in this country, and I find it a trivialisation to see my friends sharing handmaid tale’s pictures with ‘my body my choice’ tag lines...surely when a matter really is life or death, we shouldn’t simplify it as a women’s prerogative?
Or AIBU?

www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/they-buried-our-baby-for-5-and-nothing-more-was-said-1.561034
this is not the original source I had re the Vatican Council but it does describe other experiences (Irish Times)

It’s not a men against women issue

It absolutely is. Because it takes a man and a woman to create a foetus, but only the woman is being penalised if it is aborted. There is no chance this bill would have passed if both parents of said unwanted pregnancy were held equally responsible if the woman chose abortion (men should be more careful with contraception if they’re worried about that outcome!)

@PChole

Statistics from ‘abortion data uk: 2017’ available on gov.uk

Thanks

“People say it's the woman's choice, but it seems like a woman choosing not to have an abortion is often judged very harshly by other women. At least on MN, anyway...”

That really is rubbish, you know........

There is no way to accurately record how many abortions are a result of rape. Many women never report, many women live with their rapists. How many threads do we see on here about women bullied or coerced into sex by their partners, or being abused in their sleep? At least weekly.

"People saying it’s a women choice...again I don’t really think this is right."

Is what OP wrote. You lost me there. Maybe in some ideal universe we'd all have 100% control over everything that happens in our lives boy would that be boring but back here in real world, other pathways have to be available.

FWIW, I agree there's some sweeping generalisation hysterics being spouted about the Alabama situation. I am super curious if the Supreme court will go as far as declaring that an embryo or fetus can have 'person' status in law. Could destroy embryo research, for instance.

Who would seriously consider hysterectomy upon turning 18yo to avoid being caught in such a legal mess? I know I would have done.

I don’t care how many percentage of women have abortions have them for reasons other people may find acceptable (such as fetal abnormalities or whatever).

A woman shouldn’t need to justify why she doesn’t want a baby at that time. People need to keep their prying sanctimonious eyes out of women’s uteruses and leave women alone to make decisions about their own bodies.

I have a happy marriage, other DC and am financially stable. If I found out I was pregnant now I’d terminate because I don’t want any more babies.

Those statistics don't mention rape at all OP, and you've citied incorrect figures (to suit your own arguments, one suspects).

I can't tell if you're more naive or just ignorant but either way you're extremely unreasonable.

It is men against women.

I have read nothing to suggest that men will be forced to parent all the children resulting in unwanted pregnancies.

Are they going to be made to have that child 50% of the time?

It's all about punishing women, as is the op. We should be allowed abortions under circumstances of other people's choosing, but it shouldn't be easy and you should be made to suffer for it.

Other women's fertility isnt the problem of someone who doesn't want to be pregnant either. Me having 20 children, or none, won't impact someone else's fertility at all.

I've had a pretty hard time of it with children, including miscarriage and 2 of my children dying, what goes on in someone else's womb is still none of my business, and their reasons are none of my business either.

As early as possible, as late as necessary imo.

I can't believe this is happening in 2019.

@pessimisticstateofperception

Women voted the bill in also.

its not a choice I feel I could make

Ok. The key work in that statement is choice.

The women of Alabama have had that choice taken from them.

Since you by your admission have had two unplanned pregnancies I think it is a bit ripe to ask whether or not contraception is freely available, you may not think you live in a bubble but you do if you can ask that question.

@crazyasafox

I get that I’m in a very small minority but that’s usual for a lot of views like this. Social media type things like Twitter, mumsnet and Instagram tend to be so left which is fine but it creates an echo chamber or makes people not understand that there are people who disagree.

I’m clearly not that in a small minority if the pro life movement is making strides and passing bills !

“Twenty-five members of the Alabama State Senate voted to pass the nation's most restrictive abortion bill on Tuesday — and every single one of them were white men”

Says the news story I just read.

OP "I would never have an abortion".
Also OP "I would terminate if the foetus had health reasons".

Flippity flop. so what you are saying @Bere111 is that women should only have abortions in the same circumstances as you would? This reminds me of the American politician who talked about "legitimate rape".

I said you are in a minority on HERE @klendraa ... pretty obvious I meant that.

The Alabama law makes no exception for rape, incest, finding out later that you are pregnant (to abort before 6 weeks is really unlikely due to the time it takes to get a positive test if you don't have a regular cycle, extra hard!) Nobody is making women in Alabama or elsewhere have abortions but society does not support women who find themselves pregnant so often, if here in the U.K. we had free childcare from the end of maternity leave or top up benefits of some kind (up to an income of at least £50k) and wrap around care at schools, etc perhaps there would be less. I certainly couldn't afford to be pregnant the first time, it was an accident and society doesn't support accidents, less so in the US!

Abortion shouldn't be used as birth control but sometimes it's the lesser evil

Women voted the bill in also.

did they?

ANYone who thinks banning abortion full stop even if it's from a rape, need to fucking fall off the planet. It's a repulsive view. And how sickening and revolting that the Alabama law has been decided by a few dozen MEN.

For. FUCKS. SAKE!!!!!!!!

I think society indirectly puts a lot of pressure on women to have an abortion.
Benefit bashing and slagging large families off for example.
A family on a low income already has 2 children. Then the mum falls pregnant. She feels like she is in a crisis because she’s worried about being judged for having another baby because society hates people having more than 2 children (). So she has an abortion. Cue her having a possible emotional breakdown on top of all that.

Social media plays a big part in all of it.

Also, I think there are big expectations of everyone by society that we should all study, go to uni, travel the world, get a really good job, get married, buy a house, and have lots of money saved up before we have children. If a pregnancy happens in between all of this then women might feel like people will see them as a failure. Strangers and their own family. I’m the only one to not own a house and I have four children. My cousins all own houses and don’t have children or have just the one. I KNOW my relatives judge me but I don’t give a shit anymore. They can exit my life if they want.

So yeah, other people have a lot to answer for too.

I am getting fucking mad now. I need to leave the thread. Sorry.

Hiding it now.

Just because some people sadly have fertity issues duesnt mean others shouldnt be able to have abortions, for whatever reasons they have.

Do you know what happens to the abortion rate when it's not legal? Nothing.
People will still have them but instead they will be shrouded in secrecy and extremely dangerous!
YABU and are a judgemental areshole