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Original poster

How dreadful does Madonna sound on Eurovision?

304 replies

Bearbehind · 18/05/2019 23:00

This is hideous

OP posts:
Severnlurveheart · 20/05/2019 18:23

Honestly, I think the cracks about the steps are unjustified. I thought she was going for a slow, stately effect as she descended the stairs.

I agree, they're all in time to the music.

Nicolastuffedone · 20/05/2019 19:36

If a strangulated hernia could sing, it would sound just like that.

mathanxiety · 21/05/2019 05:42

To be fair this was true of a lot of the other entries, but they still got votes. [mediocre, cliche-ridden]
SerenDippity

Maybe you're not hearing what I heard, but I am not alone.
Other songs apart from those from the Big Five made it through the semis. They were voted to the final and then to wherever they finished in the final by hundreds of thousands of voters, twice.

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 21/05/2019 08:37

*@MoralityM1N1*W
Why thank you. I do tend to go for puns of some sort but on this occasion the name rings true - the bloody chocolate machine in the U-Bahn swiped a euro from me and the telephone number to complain to get your money back cost even more than the blasted Chocolate
I should have let it go at that point I didn't let it go and rang them anyway
My favourite name on here is WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll which tickles me every time I see it even though [whisper] I hated Starship Grin

The only other songs that made it to the final that I thought were anodyne were Estonia, Israel and, to a certain degree, Sweden but the latter was performed well. Maybe it's the major key theory again.

dreamyspires · 21/05/2019 13:05

I doubt many will agree but I think super successful people like Madonna don’t get their success by chance. I think the worlds elite have an agenda to push on the masses. Success is guaranteed because they control the media but their success comes at a heavy price. I’m thinking of Britney Spears now, in her late 30s but it’s like she’s being controlled. Many famous singers give out messages and symbols in their songs. Just makes you wonder doesn’t it.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 21/05/2019 15:12

Just makes you wonder doesn’t it.

No.

Mousetolioness · 22/05/2019 07:08

On Radio 4 yesterday, late afternoon, they played 'before' and 'after' clips of Madonna singing Like A Virgin on the big night.

Someone in her camp, if not her, had her singing touched up, so on her website it sounds a helluva lot more in tune for the benefit of any fans (or the curious) checking out Queen Madge's performance!!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll is a little touch of brilliance 🙂

RhubarbIsEvil · 22/05/2019 11:02

Are there any YouTube parodies yet?

CatAndHisKit · 23/05/2019 01:40

I thought she was going for a slow, stately effect as she descended the stairs .
Haha, it sure didn't go that way! Stately could have worked (possibly) if she was facing forward, not carefully stepping down half-sideways just as old /infirm people do. May have helped if that stairsway was much shorter - people were getting impatient!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/05/2019 03:28

I had to walk sideways down stairs before I had my knee done. However I wouldn't have been capable of crouching down like she did, or more to the point, getting up again.

It was in time to the music so intentionally slow. But she was out of breath, out of tune and looked as though she'd been embalmed. And no amount of auto tuning and photoshopping will change what we actually saw happen live.

Buttery81 · 23/05/2019 08:54

Those stairs looked very hazardous to be fair - with barely enough room to fit a whole foot on if facing forwards!

SammySamSam09 · 23/05/2019 11:33

Like she cares what a bunch of peasants on mumsnet think Grin
She is the Queen of pop after all! Glitterball

Seriously though her tickets are almost sold out for the London leg of her tour next year so she's doing something right and I applaud her.

GimmieTheCoffeeAndNooneDies · 23/05/2019 12:32

Although it was funny watching her gingerly descend the stairs as she sung 'oh god! I think I'm falling!'

KittensinaBlender · 23/05/2019 12:52

I didn’t mind the stairography. Quite sensible considering the heels, the eye patch and the fuck off big cape.

Much as I’m not a fan, I wouldn’t enjoy watching her fall arse over tit down those stairs although I might have had to restrain myself from making a “fallen Madonna with the big boobies” joke once the shock had worn off.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/05/2019 17:43

Like she cares what a bunch of peasants on mumsnet think 

How very dare you! Grin

She is the Queen of pop after all! 

Not in this house Angry

Seriously though her tickets are almost sold out for the London leg of her tour next year so she's doing something right and I applaud her.

There's a lot of production in her stage shows but that doesn't mean her actual performance is any good. Some people are easily pleased. Unlike the audience at the Eurovision venue who clearly weren't wowed!

PortiaCastis · 23/05/2019 17:55

.She is the Queen of pop after all.
Really oh no not in my book she isn't never really liked her swanning about screeching like a virgin

Bluerussian · 23/05/2019 17:55

I thought she was pretty good.

mathanxiety · 25/05/2019 04:29

A vocal coach comments on Madonna's performance.

'She must have been so out of tune that the autotune couldn't correct her'

malificent7 · 25/05/2019 06:37

Tbh just watched the youtube video. Was expecting a strangled cat. No...sounds ok...am i missing something? Seen far worse. Amy Winehouse( bless her) was so drunk at Glastonbury she could hardly stand...let alone sing. That was upsetting.

Unfinishedkitchen · 25/05/2019 06:49

I’ve just watched the performance on YouTube and I think some PPs comments are exaggerated. She sounds a bit out of breath but it’s not as terrible as many are making out.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=VG3WkiL0d_U

RuffleCrow · 25/05/2019 06:51

Erm i've just listened to the first minute or so of her doing Like A Prayer. Maybe i'm in a position to say this as i've never really been a fan, but to me her actual voice doesn't really sound much different to the original. It's thin and reedy but then again it's always been thin and reedy. There is a point in the original where her voice almost soars a bit, but i put that down to a good studio arrangement. At Eurovision there was a weird 'modern' drum machine drowning her out so this wasn't going to happen.

Valarmorghulisss · 25/05/2019 06:52

It's been fixed. You can compare the live version with the fixed version here

mathanxiety · 25/05/2019 07:10

The original version is critiqued by the voice coach at Sat 25-May-19 04:29:09 - www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYtKXeRsJdM

The vevo version is a huge ex post facto improvement on the actual performance, which was dire.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/05/2019 10:20

Unfinishedkitchen the version you’ve posted has had the sound tweaked, it sounds far superior to the original.

Unfinishedkitchen · 25/05/2019 10:45

OMG that’s quite a difference isn’t it?! The original/live version is indeed terrible for a professional and experienced singer! My apologies for doubting the OPGrin