To not be able to do a no 2 if my DP is anywhere near the bathroom? How do you get over this?

[InfuriatinglyDelicateFlower]

DP and I have been together 3 years and I still can't go if I'm not absolutely alone ie DP has to be Far Far Away in a different part of whatever house or flat we're in. I feel almost panicky and extremely tense unless I'm completely alone. So just can't go, which isn't exactly great for health.

Ensuites are awful for this. I live in a shared house in London with an en suite which is great when I'm here alone, not so much when my beloved is with me. It's fine when in DP's own place due to layout of house and nobody else being around either.

Who else finds en suites awful?

@NCforthisone19, what you seem to be wilfully missing is that the OP physically cant go if someone else is there. It’s no different to being disabled and unable to wipe yourself, she is unable to relax enough to go. I have a friend who in the 12 years I’ve known her has never used a public toilet. She’s peed in my house once when she was pregnant and that took her about an hour as her anxiety was that bad. Anxiety is just as disabling as a physical disability sometimes.

Sounds weird but I find putting my fingers in my ears really helps. If I can't hear anything then I can't be embarrassed about what anyone else may or may not have heard

I friend of mine ended up on hospital with an impacted bowel because she wouldn’t go with her boyfriend in the house. She used to send him out to the shops but if he wouldn’t go, she just held onto it.

It’s not healthy so you need to get over it. Everybody poo’s it’s natural and essential. If your DH is the kind of man who gets squeamish about a persons natural bodily functions then he needs to do a bit of work on growing up but if this is purely from you, then you need to prioritize your health. Bowel health is imperative to overall health. Don’t compromise it over something silly.

I don’t have a selfish wasteful attitude actually,

Yeah, you do. You've demonstrated exactly those two things by what you've said on this very thread.

why don’t you do something useful with your life

You have no idea what we do with our lives.

this shit

"This shit" being caring about the environment, presumably? See above re evidence of selfish attitude.

watching you environment warriors posting on a forum to a stranger is actually quite hilarious

Standard internet code for "I'm pissed off that everyone's having a go at me so I'll pretend I'm too cool to care and that I actually find it sooooooo funny." Probably worked back in the dark ages of the internet: now, everyone's seen it just a little too often for it to really convince. The fact that you claim to find it hilarious doesn't make you cool or tough, it's just a bit sad really, because you'd rather be aggressively defensive than accept that the world is in crisis and we're all responsible for that.

It's also another demonstration of your narrow little world-view: the only way change happens is by people speaking up about things they are passionate about, through whatever medium they can, to try to raise awareness at the very least, if not effect change. And this speaking up will very often be to strangers, on an internet forum or in an audience.

That's pretty amusing seeing as I'm a disabled wheelchair user with severe PTSD, anxiety and panic disorder. You're comparing not being able to have a poo so you have to run the tap to actual physical disabilities like mine where you can't wipe your arse??

Get an absolute grip of yourself.

I know what you mean - and I hate hotel rooms and my PIL caravan for this reason. I could never leave the door open.

I have slightly had to get over it with my DS who is 3 and a half. He follows me EVERYWHERE

what worries you so much?
would counselling help?

its mostly a women's issue isnt it, men dont tend to suffer from this- i wonder why.

For DH (then DP of a year)'s thirtieth birthday I took him to a gorgeous posh (well it looked it from their website) hotel in Northumberland. Swanky room with jacuzzi bath, generally romantic - I was thinking long walks, lazy lie-ins, room service etc.

When we got there it was the weirdest thing ever. The jacuzzi bath was in the bedroom, literally a foot from the bed. It was by the window which made some beautiful views from the window (although there was a sign saying if you wanted a hot bath you needed to open the windows because otherwise the smoke alarm would go off - bit nippy for a romantic shared bath in November).

But the weirdest and most disturbing thing was because the bath was right there, they had decided they didn't need a proper ensuite. So the toilet cubicle was basically a cubicle in the corner of the room, with a beaded curtain instead of an actual door.

DH and I had to agree early doors that number twos were done downstairs in the loo by reception because otherwise I'd have turned tail and left on principle.

I completely get where you're coming from OP, although I've definitely become less self conscious about such things since having kids!

I've been hospitalised for constipation before- was over 3 weeks with no poo, absolute agony. This was quite early on in mine and my husbands relationships- his sisters a doctor so they all know my bowel movements so this has never been a problem here. It's celebrated when I have a poo 😂

OP physically cant go if someone else is there. It’s no different to being disabled and unable to wipe yourself,

Holy Fuck. Surely not?

Apparently so.