To not be able to do a no 2 if my DP is anywhere near the bathroom? How do you get over this?

[InfuriatinglyDelicateFlower]

DP and I have been together 3 years and I still can't go if I'm not absolutely alone ie DP has to be Far Far Away in a different part of whatever house or flat we're in. I feel almost panicky and extremely tense unless I'm completely alone. So just can't go, which isn't exactly great for health.

Ensuites are awful for this. I live in a shared house in London with an en suite which is great when I'm here alone, not so much when my beloved is with me. It's fine when in DP's own place due to layout of house and nobody else being around either.

Who else finds en suites awful?

No it doesnt. We’ve been together 13 years and ive never shat infront of my dh.

Childbirth is an awkward thing for everyone unfortunately

10 years together and 4 children and still don't go no.2 or far in front of him! I can't do it!

Childbirth pooing aside though, I haven’t pooed in front of my DP and we’ve been together nearly 12 years (I do think it’s a bit weird to be in the same room). I used to have the same level of anxiety as the OP for the first few years of our relationship but over time I’ve become less concerned. I would run the tap if it was an thin walled en-suite but I wouldn’t get too worked up if I couldn’t for some reason.

I just tell DH I need him to make himself scarce. He knows why and would rather not be in the vicinity so works for both of us!!

@PositiveVibez Why shouldn't I talk about my own experience? Why shouldn't I compare it to someone else's? I'm perfectly entitled to post my opinion on a public forum, and while it may seem extreme to you, it's a perfectly valid example of many people's lives.

Definitely not easy to get over. When the DSC were younger and used to come and stay over, I wouldn't be able to go all weekend. I got kidney infections and constipation and all sorts. It only got better when they went off to uni and their visits stopped. I'm OK with DH being around though, although I prefer it when he isn't.

I'm exactly the same 🙈 I even go in and silently lock the door so he doesn't know. He walked in on me once and I felt totally embarrassed. You're not on your own it's totally understandable. We go on quite a few holidays though so he's often close by which I hate. Sure I'll get over it at some point. He's not the same though, is quite happy to tell me he's going for a poo...

I live in flat with poor sound insulation and I can hear every time someone takes a shit, it’s minging. I time mine with a shower usually, or I’m usually at work when I need one. I do sympathise OP, I was never particularly worried about it until leaving in this flat where you can literally hear everything that happens in the bathroom.

Dh knows I hate anyone being near. So he stays away or if he does come near to the bathroom, I tell him to go away
My ddad is the same and my Dc2 also. Must be a family thing!

What about having music playing? Can’t hear any noises with music on

After the birth of my first baby the first poo was like giving birth all over again. I had to get my DH to press a warm flannel on my stitches while I tried to go to the toilet. I think that was a point of no return in our marriage and now anything goes lol!

DH and I are like this (although not panicky) we've been together 15 years, usually the conversation goes "I need a poo, are you staying here?" In order to decide which toilet to use 😂 back in the days of uni with an en-suite bathroom I'd tell him to go to the car so I can go to the toilet ha. I don't want to hear him go to the toilet or vice versa. I like my privacy, I won't go in front of my children either. But it's not good to be panicky about it, once you can get to a place you can tell him to bugger off somewhere for 5 mins so you can go to the toilet you'll feel much better!!

Just remember the REM song..

🎶 🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵
When your need is great
And the loo
The loo is yours alone
When you're sure you've got to go
Its your life
Don't hang on
Just let yourself go
'Cause everybody poops
And everybody smells sometimes
Sometimes nothing is wrong
Now it's time to sing aloud
When your loo is yours alone (don't hold on)
(don't hold on) if you feel like letting go (don't hold on)
🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

I laugh when I hear someone say they've never farted in front of DP. I had a boyfriend like this who 'never farted in front of me' and the noises he made when he was asleep were truly impressive

I have always required peace and privacy in which to take a dump. I mean, I don't even want to hear distant voices, including the cat meowing outside the bathroom door.

I believe it is evolutionary and related to survival - we would have been vulnerable while pooping, so it would make sense to take cover. Also other animals could track us by our spoor, so it would be wise to practice concealment.

I managed 20 years without sharing a bathroom with DH while one of us was having a shit. Sadly that got completely wrecked when he was in hospital and kicked all the nurses out of his room and insisted they get me to sit holding his hand while he used the bed pan. I think that although he was really sick, he had a sense of humour!

I used to hate going when DH was waiting to go after. I used to yell at him to wait downstairs not in front of the bathroom door, not because I am prudish or even worried about the smell, but I have constipation issues and can't bear being rushed

We are a very open family and often more than one in bathroom. Usually one in shower another using toilet and someone either speaking to either 1 or using the big mirror .
I have chronic D type ibs and sadly when you need to go, you really can't wait so don't have a choice.

I don't poo in front of my husband...we've got children together and he saw me give birth. It doesn't mean he needs to be around and see me poo! I like to keep some semblance of romance in our relationship

A solitary poo with no one else in the house can be a golden moment of my day

I'm the same as you OP. We've been together for 11 years and I still don't poo in front of him or if I know he can hear me. I used to get really anxious about it but since we started having a laugh about it it's actually got easier and I tell him to stay in the lounge whilst I go for a poo. Then when I return he sometimes asks me if I feel better and I do a little dance.

There have been times when I have been really ill and know I've made some highly unpleasant sounds in the bathroom, and there's a good chance he has seen me poo during childbirth, but he's always been tactful about it and not brought it up. I think if you have a chat about it it will start to get easier.

(In terms of practicalities, when we were buying a house I insisted on one that had a bathroom that was well away from any bedrooms or the lounge. I'm also a air freshener sprayer and tend to time my poos when my husband goes out for a smoke. )

My DH has seen me give birth twice, I pooed during the first labour because I am just that glamorous, and I still wouldn't voluntarily go to the toilet in front of him.

I think the people merrily chatting away to people while they do a shit are the weirdos, not the ones like us OP who prefer to keep it private!

I've been with my dh for 31 years. Never pooed or wee-d in front of him and I hope I never will.

I don't understand why anyone would not want privacy. I'm not particularly prudish, have given birth 4 times with plenty watching, but my bladder and bowels are private and I need peace to 'go' or I simply can't!
I'd never have an en suite for that reason!

I have been the same, but i have a really bad bowel and when i need to go i need to go straight away. put toilet paper down the toilet first before you do a poo (which stops the sound) and keep detol stray in there. done and dusted!

I am the same. We’ve been together 9 years, have a toddler and a baby. He’s seen me give birth twice and I still can’t go to the loo within earshot of him 😂

Run the tap and use VIPoo