To not be able to do a no 2 if my DP is anywhere near the bathroom? How do you get over this?

[InfuriatinglyDelicateFlower]

DP and I have been together 3 years and I still can't go if I'm not absolutely alone ie DP has to be Far Far Away in a different part of whatever house or flat we're in. I feel almost panicky and extremely tense unless I'm completely alone. So just can't go, which isn't exactly great for health.

Ensuites are awful for this. I live in a shared house in London with an en suite which is great when I'm here alone, not so much when my beloved is with me. It's fine when in DP's own place due to layout of house and nobody else being around either.

Who else finds en suites awful?

I'm the same. My bum gets tense if I can be heard. In hotel rooms my husband is sometimes told to go and read a book on the balcony.

Agree with the above poster, running the tap or shower to disguise the fact that you are pooing is ridiculous and wasteful. We all piss and shit, why make it a big deal?

The only time our bathroom door is shut is if one of us is having a crap. We don't bother for wees, and as for the noise ... well, suffice to say that the bathroom in our motorhome has all the sound deadening properties of a shower curtain.

We fart freely in front of each other too, I'd have permanent gutache if I didn't let rip when I felt the need.

I've got four kids and still can't go when there's other people around.
We've recently moved house and have an en suite which is so annoying as DH is always lurking around the bedroom. I couldn't poo for the first week.
Same with hotel rooms I just can't go in such a close proximity to other people.
The midwives laughed at me in labour as I needed a wee, the brought a commode and I asked them all to go out including DH. They said "oh it's fine we've seen it all before" but I couldn't wee with them all there so they had to leave!

YANBU OP. I had an upset stomach the other morning and was hopping around waiting for DP to leave the bedroom so I could poo and he came back in. I was so embarrassed. And I've had a child so really shouldn't be so self conscious

It's not ridiculous to have insecuries. They don't just to away because you think it's nonsense

I'm not 'making it a big deal' on purpose, believe me. I doubt anyone is. If you think that you simply don't get it!

I cannot physically go, in those circumstances, despite it actually making me feel quite unwell. It's an awful sensation.

I was the same as you OP and still feel a bit funny if anyone can hear me. We live in a fairly small house so on one occasion I literally shouted from the toilet 'go away-I'm pooing' the kids and DH know that I need my peace to poo and I'm really grumpy if I don't get left alone.

Just talk to him/ shout from the loo, he will understand.

In theory I know everyone does it and it's nothing to be embarrassed about, but I still can't do it with an audience (even just someone overhearing). I wouldn't even have a problem telling someone that's what I was going to do- but my body just will not allow it!

You run the tap to hide poo sounds? How wasteful and weird

No it’s not, I don’t do it all the time. The water warms up in the time I finish. I don’t sit on there for 10 hours.

...it often takes me a good few days on holiday too.

Exactly it's not that I don't want to go, I do it's just I can't. It's completely involuntary.

I think my issues stem from secondary school where there were hateful girls who would make comments, climb over the cubicles or kick the doors in. I remember one girl got a sanitary bin emptied on her.
I got detention numerous times for using the staff toilets to avoid them but it was that or piss myself.

I’ve no issue going when my partner is around, not anymore, but we’ve lived together for 18 months and it’s only a small Bungalow. Prior to that I would have waited until he left to go to work in the morning. Never with the door open though! When he first started staying over he used to get up in the morning and go to the bathroom and let off his “Trumpet bum” one day he commented that he hadn’t parped in front of me yet and I laughed and told him I hear him in the Bathroom every morning. He was mortified, he thought he was holding them in for when he thought I couldn’t hear 😂 I always struggle on holiday though and it isn’t because of him....it’s just other toilets, I don’t no why it just doesn’t work! It’s always the same, by 5 days in I’m bloated and struggling. I’m the same with public toilets, and people I don’t know very wells houses. I struggle even to wee in them and would rather hold on until I’m home. My sister on the other hand has the opposite problem and quite often in a new place the first thing she needs to do is use the toilet.....weird!

VIPOO.
I didn't believe.
I was wrong.
Amazon prime next day delivery.
You're welcome.

God I would never poo with door open and dh there. If your worried turn the tap on then spray some air freshener. Toilets are for pooing after all

I've lived with dp for 6 years and have 2 kids. I don't care if he smells my farts/poo and I'll happily tell him that's what I'm going to the loo for but I cannot go if he is near the bathroom! It's odd and I know it's odd but like a pp I think it stems from childhood and mean girls listening at toilet doors so they could shame other girls!!

I think early on in a relationship you tend to be a bit more like this, I mean just door closed not having to be in a different building! I think for us as time wore on we relaxed more and more and it went from chatting with door closed to just being in the same room.

We then had our first child. There was a certain point having been in labour for hours where I felt like I was (so sorry) crapping myself. I was wired up to machines and a drip and couldn't get up to use the toilet so had to ask my husband to check, he said it was fine but I didn't believe him. So I got him to wipe my arse before I'd believe him. We laughed at the time that there was no going back from this. Now I couldn't care less if he's stood next to me. There's nothing left to be embarrassed about after that.

Wow, water use in the UK is reaching crisis point and we could run out of water in the next 25 years; but people are really running water to cover the sounds of their own poo?

I’m sympathetic to those who appear to have a genuine anxiety about this; but I would highly recommend getting a cheap radio or something to stick in the loo to cover the sound rather than running water.

As for the smell - I find shutting the door firmly and opening the window usually clears even the worst smells within a few minutes.

As a previous poster suggested, put a bit of toilet paper in the loo before you go and you near nothing. I have no issues going at home with dp in earshot but if I have to go when I’m at work this is my method!

The toilet at work is a thin wall away from customers coming and going all day so I don’t care if a few extra sheets of toilet roll is considered “terribly wasteful”...I’m not about to let customers hear me poo!

I was the same. I’m single now so don’t have the worry I couldn’t go unless he was downstairs which made it a nightmare. Child birth never changed anything for me so I don’t agree children make a difference as I have 4 and also never farted in front of him. There’s just some things for me that aren’t private.

I used to be like that too. Then I got raging diarrhoea whilst sharing a rather small hotel room. Now I couldn’t care less 😂

I had a problem with it too till labour. I had an epidural so I couldn't walk, then they gave me antibiotics against a fever that brought on diarrhea. I told the nurse that I needed the toilet NOW but she told me it was probably the baby coming and please don't push while she fetched a doctor. I shit the bed (without pushing or wanting to) with massive runny diarrhea in front of DH. Three times.

Then the nurse believed me. And cleaned the bed and me. Actual birth was the next day. DH was/is wise enough to never ever mention the incident, not even in private. I am more relaxed about pooing with him in the vicinity now (I mean, it can't be worse really).

you could become disabled. When your DH has to change your sanpro and wipe your arse when you can't do it yourself

🙄 There's always one who has to put an extreme example in.

OP: I can't poo in front of my partner
Extreme poster: well you should be grateful you have an arse! Some people would love to be able to shit in front of their partner.

You're being daft OP. I don't get it at all. I mean, I wouldn't ask my husband to come in and squeeze my head, and I do keep the door shut, but if you need a poo, you need a poo. It's just not a big deal at all.

You’re definitely not alone OP, I’m the same and I’ve been with dh since I was 17, I’m now 46 and have 2 dcs.

I hate it when posters say ‘just get over it’ yeah thanks really helpful

There’s no way I’d drop the kids off at the pool, in front of DH. In the bedroom anything goes but, not in the bathroom