To not be able to do a no 2 if my DP is anywhere near the bathroom? How do you get over this?

[InfuriatinglyDelicateFlower]

DP and I have been together 3 years and I still can't go if I'm not absolutely alone ie DP has to be Far Far Away in a different part of whatever house or flat we're in. I feel almost panicky and extremely tense unless I'm completely alone. So just can't go, which isn't exactly great for health.

Ensuites are awful for this. I live in a shared house in London with an en suite which is great when I'm here alone, not so much when my beloved is with me. It's fine when in DP's own place due to layout of house and nobody else being around either.

Who else finds en suites awful?

I put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet, run a bath (or a tap if I'm not having a bath) and I feel a lot more comfortable knowing DP can't hear me going!

The “doing a number two with the door open” brigade make me shudder. Just grim!

To those preaching to me about water wastage; there is water being wasted in countless other ways in the U.K. The main cause of water wastage is old leaking pipes. I’m sure me opening the tap for 3/4mins tops occasionally when I want a private poo isn’t going to cause a drought. So yes, it is ridiculous, and I don’t need patronising comments telling me how water is wasted; I’m not thick.

there is water being wasted in countless other ways in the U.K.

Well, that's OK then. Because that's how change happens, everyone saying: Oh, it's not a problem because everyone else does it so me changing my ways won't help.

If that were my line of argument, given the state the world is in right now and all the very serious warnings we're being given by intelligent people who know the score, I don't think I'd declare quite so confidently that I wasn't thick...

Persimmonn do you recycle? Switch lights off when not in use? Use a Bag for Life?

You could argue what’s the point in doing those things as far more plastic gets wasted in industry than in domestic homes; and other countries waste far more energy than we could ever cope to conserve.

Or could you concede that maybe it’s ok to try and do our bit every way we can; and if that means playing some music in the bathroom rather than running a tap, then it’s an easy enough switch to make?

Incidentally, I have IBS so the entire concept of being able to hold it in is alien to me; but do people who run the taps just have really quiet poos? Is it the plops that you’re trying to cover? I can’t actually imagine running taps covering any noise anyway to be honest...

Threads like this always make me think of Gut by Giulia Enders, there appears to be a TED talk too.

When the book was published she was on Woman's Hour and one thing she covered was that some people have to be totally relaxed and simply can't go if there are people around. It's a real medical thing, even though it seems totally bonkers to the rest of us who just go when we need to go and realise that we all do it.

I couldn’t be arsed with all that.

I have crohns and there’s times I’ve shit myself in front of him. He didn’t bat an eye.

Also didn’t bother him when my bowel blocked, I had my head in the sink spewing up waste and my ass in the pan spewing out blood. He sat with me and took me to the hospital.

Now it doesn’t bother him when I have bag leaks all over him in bed, or when it happens in the street, or when I have to empty or change it in front of him.

It’s only poo, every single person on the planet does it in one way or another.

Me opening a tap for 3/4mins occasionally isn’t going to cause the earth to die. Stop being so melodramatic. Stop preaching to me about recycling. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone with what I do or don’t do. ✋

Me opening a tap for 3/4mins occasionally isn’t going to cause the earth to die.

This is the shortsighted, selfish attitude that literally are causing the earth to die.

Me opening a tap for 3/4mins occasionally isn’t going to cause the earth to die

You and everyone else who does it.

Foul attitude. Grow up and shit like a normal adult.

I’m not thick.

Me opening a tap for 3/4mins occasionally isn’t going to cause the earth to die.

I say -right I’m just going for a poo & everyone says errr do you have to tell us? why do we want to know? Yuck too much information etc etc but I guarantee as soon as I close the door someone inc DH is shouting my name cos they want something! I say that’s why I tell you all I’M GOING FOR A POO!

No, YOU grow up and stop telling me what to do. I WILL CONTINUE TO OPEN THE TAPS BECAUSE I HAVE FREE WILL.

I WILL CONTINUE TO OPEN THE TAPS BECAUSE I HAVE FREE WILL.

AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF THE WHOLE EARTH DIES AS LONG AS YOU CAN EXERCISE YOUR FREE WILL! Go you! No, honestly. We're all absolutely convinced now that you're definitely not thick! Really! You prove it with every new post!

I can’t even remember the last time any of us shut a bathroom door ...

I have the same problem - but more so when I have to go at work and somebody else uses one of the other toilets.

I feel anxious about going, and can't - and then when I realise nothing is happening I get more anxious about going and it gets even more difficult to go

AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF THE WHOLE EARTH DIES AS LONG AS YOU CAN EXERCISE YOUR FREE WILL! Go you! No, honestly. We're all absolutely convinced now that you're definitely not thick! Really! You prove it with every new post!

Yeah, because ME opening a tap OCCASIONALLY is going to cause the Earth to die. FGS. And you don’t sound thick at all do you?! Shouting at a random stranger for opening taps OCCASIONALLY; why don’t you channel all your anger into something worthwhile.

doesn't your bathroom have a lock?

It's no matter either way. Some would, and some wouldn't. It's a matter of respecting your OH's viewpoint. It's hardly a deal breaker is it. Like anal sex, if you will.

All that opening, Persimmonn. Why don't you open your eyes to the damage running unnecessary water does to the planet?

@Persimmonn if you're on water rates and not a meter then it is actually everyone's business - as we're all paying for you to shit undercover instead of you just turning a fucking radio on 😂

How fucking weird. You're taking a shit, not brain surgery. It doesn't need to be such an 'event' that you have to do any of that.

Every person who has this selfish wasteful attitude to water, recycling etc etc is the reason we are in this mess! You might not think your 3 mins of tap running is an issue but every selfish person doing their small selfish behaviour is killing our planet - shitting will be the very least of your worries when there's not bloody water for you to run anyway. The environment agency has already warned that the U.K. will struggle for water within the next 15 years.

It's disgusting, especially if it's just to cover the sound of a shit. Never heard anything so selfish and childish.

I don’t have a selfish wasteful attitude actually, but watching you environment warriors posting on a forum to a stranger is actually quite hilarious. How you get through a day is beyond me. I’m saying it again; why don’t you do something useful with your life instead of preaching this shit to a stranger online?