To think this was done on purpose so they could stay out

[Littleteacup1]

To be pissed off planned night out with friends last train home at 11.30. They no I have an illness and struggle coming out and get exhausted easily. Had been looking forward to this had planned my meds around tonight and a family event the next day. On the night I suggested we get the train before the last one so we have time to leave and time incase we miss the first. Friend tried to suggest we get taxi and stay later I advised couldn’t afford taxi had already paid for return ticket costing 5 rather than 40 for taxi we all agreed and to get train. 20 mins before train I suggest getting planned to leave say I will rush for a wee but need to hurry as train leaves soon takes ten mins walk. As soon as I get back friends insist they need a wee and they will rush they didn’t they claimed there was a huge que and needed to wash hand no que when I went and it’s a big toilet with 10 stalls. They kept insisting I couldn’t go as they left me with her bag. I waited and threw the bag at her and ran for the train missed it by one min. Couldn’t afford taxi on my own either so said I would wait for them to leave at 12.15 as they said they would get taxi then friend re appeared with a bottle of wine and claims that they will only have glass each when o later asked again what time they where leaving they changed it to 1.00. At 12.30 partner finally texts back he’s sent me some money for a taxi so I go to leave and they get all funny about me being off with them. They know I can’t stay up late they know I have meds to take at night at certain times that make me sleepy Aibu to think this was done on purpose

And also really if you wanted to finish your drink and were willing to get the last one surely you are to blame also and knew you had no back up plan anymore.

Well that’s the main med I also take codine and a list off others so couldn’t drink huge amounts anyway because of all my medication

Big fuss about nothing really, you should’ve left when you wanted to but you didn’t so you missed the last train, you’d have been as well to stay out another half hour and share a taxi, you can’t blame anyone else really. You are responsible for yourself.

I have said I realise I should have gone home when I wanted
I didn’t try make them come home with me
I needed to be home at a set time the reason dosnt matter they knew I had to be home at a set time
Friend b now not talking to me at all won’t even tell me what’s wrong my anxiety is through the roof about all of this

Real friends should not be causing you this amount of anxiety - take a deep breath & try & put it all into perspective.

They knew you needed to be home & they chose to ignore that because of drink or selfishness or giddiness or whatever - you are not in the wrong here as you weren't forcing them to do anything either way. Hugs & 💐 for you.

@Littleteacup1 with respect you most certainly have huffed about it, you posted on here about it!

You have made a mountain over a molehill, made your friends leave their night out early, and now made her feel guilty about it seen she felt like she had to take the blame. YABU, surely you could of had your medication later when you got in? Now look at the fallout from it just because you thought everyone should of left early with you. I personally can see why your friend does not want to go anymore.

@GoldenPineapples because she is an adult who chose to take the train home rather than share the costs of a taxi?

I didn’t make them leave there night out early they stayed out till 2 and I went home alone if they wanted to stay out late they should have said rather than agreeing to get the train

She may be an adult but she's also a woman on her own late at night at the train station. If something had happened to her such as getting mugged, attacked or worse, how would her friends feel knowing they just left her to get a train on her own late at night.

Or, if they really wanted to get a taxi to stay later then they could have said to the OP, just give us the difference it would cost for taxi to have an extra passenger and we will pay the rest as we are going that way anyway.. not just leave her to walk 10 minutes to a train station on her own at 11pm at night to then get a train and walk to her house alone late.

On the night I suggested we get the train before the last one so we have time to leave and time incase we miss the first. Friend tried to suggest we get taxi and stay later I advised couldn’t afford taxi had already paid for return ticket costing 5 rather than 40 for taxi we all agreed and to get train

Did you discuss transport home before you met on the night? It sounds to me like you’d made your mind up about how things were going to be without actually discussing with others, and in your own words your friends at that point made noises about wanting to stay later so I’d love to know how this conversation actually played out. I think you’ve been a little unfair on your friends to be honest, you’ve unilaterally decided on a course of action, and refused to deviate from it. Yes they probably didn’t handle it in the best way they could have but I’d be really pissed off if I was all up for a big night and at the very start I was told what time I’d be leaving with no room for discussion.

Yes we discussed train they said we should get last one and we even all looked at train times on the train there so we all new what time to leave

Friend b now not talking to me at all won’t even tell me what’s wrong my anxiety is through the roof about all of this

She probably can't be arsed with the drama.

Couldn't you have just learned ghe lesson for next time that when it's time to head off, you have to neck your drink and leave? No ifs or buts.

Instead you had to start a thread on here to get your annoyance validated and then phone the others to discuss it further.

I agree with Gilead. You were undeviating from a very early schedule that only suited you, and they were tiddly and having fun, and not particularly inclined to end the night. Of course they were wrong to agree to it in the first place if it didn’t suit them, but presumably they didn’t want to exclude you altogether. And all this phoning and crying stuff is teenage and melodramatic.

Ignore the nasty people on here please they just get off on other people's pain 😖

I take amitryptaline and stayed out til 3am on sat night! I was so shattered I didn't need to take it. It can be done, OP.
I think the ringing up was unnecessary, everyone texts now so there is no need to have a conversation.
I hate being the "ill person" in my group of friends, and generally they're v supportive, but I know they probably think me a flaky kiljoy sometimes!
It's unfair that your friend is making you feel guilty by not attending the festival.
You say they knew you were 'p*ssed off' but how does that manifest itself? Unless you seethed quietly and discreetly it may have put a bit of a downer on their night too.
People do silly things when they're drunk, time-keeping goes out of the window...I'm guessing you'd also had a few so this might have meant it was harder to judge the situation.
Chalk it down to experience and hopefully you have more fun at the festival! At least you won't need to worry about taxis/trains back to your tent.

Unless you've taken amitriptyline and OP's other medications for the reasons she has and experienced their effects like she has then perhaps no one but the OP is in a position to decide whether to deviate from her medication schedule or not (and I speak as someone who has taken amitriptyline for pain)

OP I don't think you did anything wrong. You told them what you wanted to do and it in no way affected them and there was no need for them to join you on the last train. That was their choice which they then messed around enough so you couldn't do it anymore. I would be annoyed too.

Friend B is clearly attention seeking and being a martyr to deflect from the poor behaviour and turn it on you.

I only rang as we always do we ring at least once a week for a chat and yes they rang me all the way to the train I said to them I was going to run for the train I was in pain and walking/ running they kept ringing me when I got there I finally answered and was all a bit overwhelmed they asked what I was going to do now and I said I don’t no she said come back and dance I said I would see how I feel she then asked if I was going to get a taxi on my own as I previously said I couldn’t afford one and that I should just come back and stay out late with them as I had missed the train I did show my annoyance to but apologies and said these things happen

I think you need to let it go now & move on for your own peace of mind - they aren't worth the stress you're going through

I'm still baffled by all these people thinking it's perfectly ok to just let their friend go home alone on a train at that time of night

What if the OP lived in the other direction to the rest of them? Would her friends have to go home with her, then turn around and go back? Even if they are al going the same way, surely they have to go their separate ways at the other end, unless they all live on the same street?

I think the OP, some posters on the thread, are of the 'Can't go to the loo or get on a train solo' persuasion, though.

I have to say, OP, that this sounds like an incredibly joyless night out, all told, with you planning for earlier trains and trying to get everyone to leave by going for a pre-train wee, and then everyone else going for an unnecessarily long wee, and all that bag-sitting for one another, and then missing the train and presumably you sitting there glowering when someone produced a bottle of wine at midnight, and then sulking and phone calls the next day.

Look, it's miserable that your health is poor, and that you are on a drug regime that negatively effects your social life I've been there and genuinely sympathise but you need to take responsibility for your own arrangements and transport arrangements, and be realistic about how much you can expect even well-intentioned drunk people who are having a good time to act as you have arranged.

I get that your friends presumably had, in advance, every intention of going home on the early train even though that sounds like a very early end to a night out but when it came to it, you came across like the fun police (for good reasons) and they wanted to stay out.

What's happened now, regardless of who is at fault -- is that there's a rift in the group.

On big nights out when I was a slip of a girl myself and my friends always made sure no one was going back by themselves. There were a few times when I knew I would have to get the nightbus home by myself at 3am and that was my decision to make.

Situations change but late at night I wouldn’t want my mate going home on public transport by themselves especially if they had some health issues.

"I think the OP, some posters on the thread, are of the 'Can't go to the loo or get on a train solo' persuasion, though."

Well that certainly isn't me as personally I'm very independent. I have always been happy to go to the loo on my own, eat in a cafe alone and have travelled on buses and trains alone hundreds of times, including the London tube at night which I'm not familiar with.

And yet you’re ‘baffled’ at the OP’s friends not catching the train with her?

Well yes because if I was on a night out drinking my friends wouldn't just let me get public transport home on my own late at night, just like I wouldn't them.

If it were me I'd have said jump in our taxi and just pay the extra person difference.

But then I'm not an asshole.