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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was done on purpose so they could stay out

132 replies

Littleteacup1 · 18/05/2019 00:48

To be pissed off planned night out with friends last train home at 11.30. They no I have an illness and struggle coming out and get exhausted easily. Had been looking forward to this had planned my meds around tonight and a family event the next day. On the night I suggested we get the train before the last one so we have time to leave and time incase we miss the first. Friend tried to suggest we get taxi and stay later I advised couldn’t afford taxi had already paid for return ticket costing 5 rather than 40 for taxi we all agreed and to get train. 20 mins before train I suggest getting planned to leave say I will rush for a wee but need to hurry as train leaves soon takes ten mins walk. As soon as I get back friends insist they need a wee and they will rush they didn’t they claimed there was a huge que and needed to wash hand no que when I went and it’s a big toilet with 10 stalls. They kept insisting I couldn’t go as they left me with her bag. I waited and threw the bag at her and ran for the train missed it by one min. Couldn’t afford taxi on my own either so said I would wait for them to leave at 12.15 as they said they would get taxi then friend re appeared with a bottle of wine and claims that they will only have glass each when o later asked again what time they where leaving they changed it to 1.00. At 12.30 partner finally texts back he’s sent me some money for a taxi so I go to leave and they get all funny about me being off with them. They know I can’t stay up late they know I have meds to take at night at certain times that make me sleepy Aibu to think this was done on purpose

OP posts:
Crazycat16 · 18/05/2019 21:19

Rang b this morning to was al ok with us had a good day and thought I would leave it learn from my mistakes and next time just go home when I want.

Why? Why did you ring? I am in a similar situation to you health wise and up until this update you had my sympathy even though there is no way on earth I would have missed my planned train, I wouldn’t have held the bag I would have just said sorry, I can’t miss this train so I will start walking and you catch me up. BUT the fact you phoned has made it sound like you thought she was at fault you missed the train. Why would you phone someone to say is all okay with us? No wonder she has removed herself from group WhatsApp and has decided on other plans next week.
At no point did I huff all night I said my dues
Is all well and good but...
she trying to take the blame as she realised how pissed of I was and so did the rest of the group, including the person you rang to say are we ok? Who, incidentally, is thrilled to have another invitation they can accept instead.

MyNewBearTotoro · 18/05/2019 21:20

It does all sound like much ado about nothing and a typical thing to happen on a night out when people are drinking - drinking and timekeeping/ leaving the bar/ being reliable etc don’t go well together. Also although you said you were willing to put it behind you you’ve started a thread about it which suggests you’re still pretty annoyed about it and she may have picked up on that. Anyway it also sounds like you and B aren’t that keen on each other so I don’t quite follow why you became upset when she said she wasn’t going to the festival next weekend?

Dippypippy1980 · 18/05/2019 21:23

Sorry - I assumed you had shown your displeasure when you said they got funny about you being off with them.

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 18/05/2019 21:26

I rang to make sure they all got home ok and say that I had transferred her 5 pounds I owed

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 18/05/2019 21:27

Yes I started this thread last night on way home since waking up I’m happy to put it all behind any drama from the night before and move on

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 18/05/2019 21:44

Yes I started this thread last night on way home since waking up I’m happy to put it all behind any drama from the night before and move on

OP posts:
KimchiLaLa · 18/05/2019 21:55

Sorry but YABU.
They weren't being proper friends BUT you weren't either. You can't force people to cut their night out because you want to go home. Easy enough for you to take a train back on your own. Message your partner when you're leaving and when you're arriving so you feel safe.

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 19/05/2019 06:41

I didn’t force them to come home at all I told them about 3 times if they wanted to stay I’m happy to go home alone they insisted they where getting the train

OP posts:
Teacher22 · 19/05/2019 07:04

The lesson I would learn from this is that your friends might be pleasant company but they are not trustworthy. Don’t let yourself be in any situation again where they have any power or control over you. Make your own travel arrangements and state before any engagement together what you will be doing and stick to it.

Whisky2014 · 19/05/2019 07:10

Why didn't you get the last train? You missed the 2nd last by 1 min So you were at the station already

Sagradafamiliar · 19/05/2019 10:35

Part of being an adult is being responsive for yourself. If other people say they will do such and such at such a time, it's still down to you to leave at a time you physically and financially need to. Who knows if they had good intentions or were playing it by ear- it's not down to you to police others if it becomes apparent they aren't going to leave. You refuse to look after the bags or you take the bags to the bathroom, slide them under the doors and leave.

Sagradafamiliar · 19/05/2019 10:36

Although this does sound a lot like other posts I've read involving unreliable friends, toilets and washing hands....just saying.

MrMakersFartyParty · 19/05/2019 10:43

Couldn't you just take your meds later? What is it amitryptiline?

GoldenPineapples · 19/05/2019 13:12

I'm still baffled by all these people thinking it's perfectly ok to just let their friend go home alone on a train at that time of night Confused

MyBlueMoonbeam · 19/05/2019 13:18

Just wondering what age group you are OP?

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 19/05/2019 14:55

Yes it’s amatriptiline makes me soo sleepy and if I don’t take it early enough I I don’t wake up well

OP posts:
JonSlow · 19/05/2019 15:34

Yes, how old are you all?

IronManisnotDead · 19/05/2019 15:38

I think it was unfair to expect your friends to finish their night out early just because you wanted to go home. You missed a train home, big deal?

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 19/05/2019 16:27

24 and 25 and I didn’t expect them to come home with me or early I said they could come home when they wanted

OP posts:
MrMakersFartyParty · 19/05/2019 16:38

I mean, realistically there's no condition that you have to take amitryptiline for. You'd be fine to skip a night.

MrMakersFartyParty · 19/05/2019 16:39

It's not ideal if you have restless leg syndrome but it's not like it's time sensitive like methotrexate

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 19/05/2019 16:47

I don’t want to skip a night as it’s pain relief for me I can’t spend the day on more pain because I didn’t take my tabs

OP posts:
UmpetyLumpety · 19/05/2019 16:48

I have asked a couple of times (as have others), but you seem to be avoiding the questions - I still don't understand if you missed the second to last train by one minute, you were at the station in plenty of time to catch the last train home... How did you miss the last train too? And why didn't you just take the bag you were looking after to the bathrooms, hand it over and leave in time? Seems really odd and totally avoidable.

Original poster
Littleteacup1 · 19/05/2019 16:51

Sorry forgot to add in we had 15 mins to catch first train but all agreed to wait for the last so we could finish our drinks so I missed the last one

OP posts:
MrMakersFartyParty · 19/05/2019 16:54

I haven't met anyone who would take amitryptiline that late at night. I don't think you would be reasonable to ask people to leave at a certain time for something like that. The difference between taking it at 11pm and 1am is negligible. I have a disability and have to take a medication at the same time on a set day or there is serious consequences. I thought it would be something like that.

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