I've name changed for this as potentially outting;
Please help - I need some advice. And it’s a long one, sorry!
Long story short is DS football coach and I don’t get on, all stems back to presentation evening last year when I was sat opposite him and could hear him slagging me off to a host of people (at the time he was just another parent, not a coach), to save a massive scene at the time and DH flattening him in front of children etc we left and I sent him a message explaining I had heard him and of course if he had an issue he could of spoken to me face to face like an adult, queue him denying it, and running back to the then coach saying I had started a war with him for no reason etc, huge frosty atmosphere which resulted in him turning quite a few parents against me and making out I was deluded with pregnancy hormones at the time. What he didn’t know was that it was the current coaches wife who actually told me what he was saying as I could only decipher parts from across the table with loud music on!
Anyhow, fast forward almost a whole year and this delight of a bloke has now muscled in on the team and seems to be running the team and coaching, subs to be paid to his wife etc.
Since the day he’s become more involved with the team he’s set out to make my life hell, reflecting on DS.
Some examples are; was asked to pay £5 for a tournament as a matter of urgency I was out in the car at the time so offered to drop payment off if he told me his door number (I knew the street!) - he ignored my message on the group WhatsApp and then did an arsey status about me not paying 🤨
Was told to pay £10 per month subs as a bank transfer to his wife’s current account 🤨 money was to be paid irrespective of whether child could attend or not, it was paid to keep their space and ensure they have the same as others for presentation night/Christmas, have always paid this monthly despite my DS not being able to play/train with them since January as he’s had a pneumo-empyema which he was in hospital for a month with, now long road to recovery. One month, I think it was March, I was late paying subs due to everything going on as well as a newborn baby, he took it upon himself to remove DS from team and me from WhatsApp/Facebook groups as I hadn’t paid 👀 he couldn’t even take the time to drop me a quick message asking what the situ was or prompting payment?! It was humiliating as once I had discovered what he had done, I messaged him, repaid subs and then was added back into the groups 🙈 like some naughty school girl!
Based on what’s been going on obviously DS hasn’t played/trained much but I’ve had to put his welfare first. Anyhow, last weekend there was a tournament it’s the first time DS has been back, he played (was subbed mostly!) and had a medal at the end, the coach then messaged me again on the group WhatsApp stating parents have noticed DS only turned up as there was a medal 🤨🤨🤨🤨 so, I explained I thought I was paying subs for him to have the same as others but he was welcome to have the medal back if he wished! Lo and behold for another message to come through again on the group WhatsApp directed at me saying irrespective of reason if your child doesn’t train they don’t play. Now, I back this to a certain degree, but it’s hardly like my son has had a cold! I thought he would be encouraging of all children, and appreciate they are only children who ultimately are there to enjoy and wouldn’t single any child out for disability basically making it impossible for him to ever inter-grate back into the team as he may not train one week if his chest is particularly bad/hosp appt etc.
Final straw came this week when we were asked to order t shirts for tour, again on the WhatsApp group, I ordered what I needed and was about to make payment by bank transfer to his wife when it said my banking app was updating, so I wrote a message asking could she wait up to four hours for payment or if not could I drop cash off to her. Again my message was ignored, come Monday morning a message appears stating all those who ordered and PAID for their t shirts your order has been placed and for anyone else tough luck! To save DS missing out I messaged the older teams secretary to ask if I could order with her, she said yes, so I messaged coaches wife and said I was going to place my order with older team sec as she hadn’t placed her teams order yet. Queue a private text from her husband telling me I obviously don’t want DS to be part of the team as I couldn’t even order in the same manner as everyone else 🤨🤨🤨🤨
This constant nit picking has gone on too long, and I told him so, which resulted in him quitting with immediate effect unless I removed DS from the team after I messaged him asking why he had made everything as difficult as possible and questioned whether it was purposeful for him to push DS out via me in the hope he wouldn’t return to the team, of course I was rail roaded into removing DS by other parents making passive aggressive remarks that they don’t want to lose coach so would rather lose DS as he hasnt trained/played for months 🤨🤨🤨
Yesterday was particularly upsetting as DS broke his heart coming home from school because his friends were going training but he couldn’t go, anyway, I took him to a different team and he seemed to enjoy, and in all it seems a better team in terms of management and training.
But, I really don’t agree with this coaches conduct and I want to know how best to address it. Is it worth going to the chairman of the club? Or the committee? Or do I just leave it lay?
I’m so upset but equally annoyed this has happened!
Oh and by the way if you think this post is about your husband then it probably is, and my opinion is he's a cunt!