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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“My chuff hurts!”

160 replies

AwfulMum123 · 16/05/2019 22:47

I already know IABU but I don’t know what to do about it!

For reasons unknown, when my DD was born I started to use the term ‘chuff’ to refer to her front bottom. I guess I just thought it was a slightly funny word. However, now, to my horror (and - I’ll admit - slight amusement) she has started using it herself when talking about that area! “Mummy, my chuff hurts” etc. What do I do about this? A quick google of the word tells me it is considered vulgar slang and I don’t want her using it long term. It’s slightly amusing when a toddler says it but I feel that pretty soon it will start to seem a bit crude.

What word can I use instead? I don’t want to use the biological terms. Is chuff really that bad? Would you judge me/her for using it?!

OP posts:
whatwouldbigfatfannydo · 17/05/2019 20:29

Bizarre that children are encouraged to give their genitalia 'cute' nicknames!
Body awareness is vital in young children. Safeguarding against any type of abuse should be a top priority regardless of the immenent presence of a threat or lack thereof.

jinglet · 17/05/2019 20:51

OMG, I've used the words "chuffing hell" in polite company not knowing that chuff was- I'd heard someone else use it and found the word funny. Crinnnnnge after reading this thread 😭😭😭🙈🙈🙈🙈

Imstickingwiththisone · 17/05/2019 21:01

Spam 😂

This could just mean that me and my entire circle of friends and family are immature but I don't use nor hear penis as the default. It's willy or dick. So the penis is not on a pedestal in my world anyway. For vagina I'd say fanny or vag depending on the context.

I hate pussy. To me that is the worst of the lot as I've only ever heard it in a sexual way and it makes my skin crawl.

OP I'd also find chuff amusing from a toddler but because it's so out of place as I'd also discourage it going forward!

NauseousMum · 17/05/2019 21:50

hate pussy. To me that is the worst of the lot as I've only ever heard it in a sexual way and it makes my skin crawl.

I don't know, clunge is pretty bad...

BertrandRussell · 17/05/2019 22:00

Pussy is so horribly porny.

SecretWitch · 17/05/2019 22:01

All my children know the correct language but my daughter’s and I use vagine when talking about our vaginas/vulvas/whatever..

sockatoe · 17/05/2019 22:28

I fully get that whatever you use must be easily understandable to the wider population. I'm not totally happy with vulva/penis but can't quantify why. I only have boys, so willy has always been ok (8 year old knows the word penis but hates it). I used front bottom for girls bits initially but son assured me that he has learned the correct term at school and it is winkie Hmm I have endeavoured to teach proper words since but he seems embarrassed by them.
Essentially, use what words you're comfortable with, but nothing too obscure for other people to understand. Enforce the knowledge that touching other people's toilet parts is not ok and openness about such things. I don't adhere to the "kids must use anatomical names at all times otherwise they will be abused" brigade, but I get their point.

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 17/05/2019 22:51

OMG, snoo is fantastic! We've used all kinds of words. I wish I could remember what name my eldest called hers, she learnt it from her dad. Twinkle or something. My youngest gets confused so I tend to describe which bit it is, so inside or outside of her front bum, or her back bum etc. My eldest probably remembers all the terms for every single bit of male and female anatomy, now. But she went remember if she ate breakfast this morning or not.

BertrandRussell · 17/05/2019 23:00

Bloody hell-did someone just say “toilet parts”???

sockatoe · 17/05/2019 23:13

@BertrandRussell ought I be shamed by your superiority??? Toilet parts. Not massively different to the widely accepted pant rule, which is taught in child protection circles to cover sexual organs and the anus as areas which it is unacceptable for others to touch without parental knowledge or consent.
Do you have a point or just a need to feel superior? If it helps you, I will concede that you are far cleverer than me and a far better parent with far cleverer children. Or maybe I have less to prove Hmm

BertrandRussell · 17/05/2019 23:23

Sockatoe- I can’t bear the though of a girl growing up thinking of her genitals as “toilet parts”. There is enough shame about women’s genitals as it is- we are taught by popular culture and by advertising that they are dirty and smelly and disgusting- we don’t need to add to that.

Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily · 17/05/2019 23:57

My 2 year old DS says Penis and Vulva. Not necessarily for a safeguarding reason more he asked whilst I was reading an anatomy book, it is just a body. He also knows that his baby sister will come out of mummy's vagina (he says vagina tunnel). He will most likely be at the birth and has experienced alot of medical things happening to me so he is very curious. Why shouldn't children know the real anatomy?

Thurmanmurman · 18/05/2019 00:34

Chuff is on par with minge where I’m from! Sorry OP.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 18/05/2019 01:40

I can’t bear the though of a girl growing up thinking of her genitals as “toilet parts”.

To be fair, it’s acco. She'll have a much tougher time growing up if she tries to piss through the fold in her elbow.

SuePerbly · 18/05/2019 01:58

We went with "lady bits", again so that if DD ever reported anyone touching her inappropriately, they would know what she is referring to.

I never call mine my vulva or vagina unless I am in the GPs. It's my muff, floo or lady bits.

OwlBeThere · 18/05/2019 02:07

On a day to day basis we tend to use bits in my house for boys or girls. They know the proper names for the various different ‘bits’ but they are just a collective of bits.
I don’t really give a chuff (hehe I’m here all week...) what other people call their body parts. With the exception of front bottom, for some reason that one really fucking irritates me.
Personally I like to call mine my vajayjay or my clinger. Blush

OwlBeThere · 18/05/2019 02:08

@Stillcoughingandlaughing GrinGrinGrin

OwlBeThere · 18/05/2019 02:17

Surely the ‘they need to know for a court case’ idea is nonsense. I refuse to believe that any case of child abuse was thrown out because a child didn’t know the word vulva. There are ways around knowing the names, they often use a doll for example with small kids to point at areas.

Lolly25 · 18/05/2019 03:34

I taught my sons the correct names from very early, but we still referred to their penis as dinkle or bits. It's no different to nicknames for other parts of your body, tummy, tootsies etc...
I do remember at my friends house, when her daughter was 3ish, me saying I am just going for a tiddle, when I came down she was still laughing, apparently that was her name for her bits, lol.

SuePerbly · 18/05/2019 03:40

OwlBeThere if a child said to their teacher "I don't like my Uncle, he touched my flower", and the teacher doesn't know what the child is referring to, there WON'T BE a court case at all.

nolongersurprised · 18/05/2019 04:45

Correct terminology, or widely used slang, is protective against abuse. Family-specific nicknames aren’t.

<a class="break-all" href="https://digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=www.google.com.au/&httpsredir=1&article=1121&context=sferc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">digitalcommons.fiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=www.google.com.au/&httpsredir=1&article=1121&context=sferc

From the article : “One convicted offender (who had assaulted 75 children before he was stopped) reported that when children knew the correct terms for their different body parts, he would leave them alone”.

Airbiscuits · 18/05/2019 16:06

Chuff is a Swiss franc

Or at least that's what we call Swiss francs

sockatoe · 18/05/2019 23:49

@BertrandRussell I think that says more about you and your experience than my children. They are too young to know that "toilet parts" serve a sexual function, as they are too young to know about sex. Their toilet parts are just part of their bodies, like ears or noses. They serve a function. But they know that they are not to be touched by other people. They are not "dirty" or to be ashamed of in any way. Just part of life. They have age appropriate understanding of where babies from. How sad that you had/have a negative view of your own body. I hope you can see it as the wonderful accomplishment of evolution that it is now, whatever you call your "bits".

TheFormidableMrsC · 19/05/2019 02:26

On the back of this thread and some of the utterly ridiculous comments on it...conversation with friend who is a police officer in a specialist unit dealing with child (pornography) protection and all the horrors that entails, they are well able to establish what is what despite nicknames for genitals. Nobody expects a child of 2, 4, 6 etc to use biological terms. A nickname is NOT going to lose a court case. Some people need to get a feckin' grip. We ALL (apart from lots of people on MN) use nicknames for genitals. I do not intend to stop this. My 21 year old can call hers what the hell she likes as far as I am concerned...my ASD 8 year old knows the basics. He will still call his winkle a winkle.

SnipSnop · 19/05/2019 02:36

Nicknames for genitals are absolutely fine and normal but the consternation some women on this thread have towards biological terms for the female genitals is ridiculous. Call it your minnie-moo-moo-noonie-foofie-front-bottom if you must, but don't then get all coy about the actual name. Vulva doesn't sound half as ridiculous as 90% of the nicknames mentioned here.