“My chuff hurts!”

[AwfulMum123]

I already know IABU but I don’t know what to do about it!

For reasons unknown, when my DD was born I started to use the term ‘chuff’ to refer to her front bottom. I guess I just thought it was a slightly funny word. However, now, to my horror (and - I’ll admit - slight amusement) she has started using it herself when talking about that area! “Mummy, my chuff hurts” etc. What do I do about this? A quick google of the word tells me it is considered vulgar slang and I don’t want her using it long term. It’s slightly amusing when a toddler says it but I feel that pretty soon it will start to seem a bit crude.

What word can I use instead? I don’t want to use the biological terms. Is chuff really that bad? Would you judge me/her for using it?!

If people feel more comfortable using euphemisms, so be it. Our society is really unbelievably coy, much as we like to protest it isn't and that we're really all enlightened and not at all like the Victorians. Most of these names are harmless if silly, but 'front bottom' is gross. The idea of the function of a vagina being equated with that of anus is offensive, not least because of its inaccuracy. I find it repulsive.

It's baffling as to why female parts - and even the language used to describe them - is still viewed as so much more taboo than the corresponding language used for males.

How often does this actually come up though? Like how often is your 14 year old talking about her vag?

Not that she shouldn’t. Just it seems unusual.

Ours call it a Minnie or a fanny. Chuff means fart afaik

Chuff is indeed proper Sunday Sport language, as typified in the following eye-catching headline (capitalisation theirs):

"Hen Party wife stuck a BATTERED SAUSAGE up her CHUFF outside Hartlepool Farmfoods!"

I've been known to screech "UP ME CHUFF" when DH asks where the remote is.
Yes, I know. I'm a comic genius.
Sometimes I use "Chatham pocket"

“It's baffling as to why female parts - and even the language used to describe them - is still viewed as so much more taboo than the corresponding language used for males.”
Are you really baffled- or is that “baffled” as in “what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels” baffled?

@SmellMySmellbow

Chatham pocket

mine know the correct names, but prefer to call them their "bits" sometimes my son will say "willy" or "bits" he will also say "penis"
my daughter has always called her her "girl bits" she knows its her "vagina" but likes to say "girl bits" instead and she is 19 so she can call her vagina what ever she wants to, even call it Mary if she bloody wants to... they know what it is, they can articulate if it needs attention, they can call it whatever they want, if it makes it easier for them to say my "willy" hurts to a doctor then what ever works is fine with me....

It's not baffling at all, men don't usually refer to their anatomy using correct terms either!

The word penis just does not get people into a similar 'omg that word is just too weird and clinical' flap.

Don't say front bottom... the vagina is not another anus.

If you must use a nickname there are some common ones: fairy, mary and tuppence are common.

“t's not baffling at all, men don't usually refer to their anatomy using correct terms either!”

I can’t imagine anyone fretting about a child using the word “penis”.......i

DS (3) calls his a penis. And knows that ladies have a “gina”. But I really hate the word vulva

I knew it wouldn’t be long before the MN Vulva police turned up on this thread

My toddler says vagina, I'm not telling him vulva. Vagina is the most commonly known term not changing it due to some on mumsnet nitpicking.

Lol at front bum = calling the vagina an anus.

1. Why is an anus so terrible? It's just another body part as far as I'm concerned. I dont rank the different bits of my body according to some weird order of merit.

1. A prepubescent vulva looks pretty much like a little bum! Just at the front... hence front bum!

@BertrandRussell

I think it’s important to think about why this is such an issue. Nobody ever thinks twice about a boy talking about his penis, and if they did, there is a perfectly acceptable colloquial word - willy- that even an adult could use without sounding completely ridiculous.

But somehow the “penis” equivalent for girls is considered too medical, too clinical, and many women are actually confused about what word applies to which part. And then there are a million different slang terms. It’s so sad that there is still such a feeling of shame around women’s genitals.

I completely disagree with all this. ^ For a start, I don't know anyone who makes their daughters feel 'shame' around their genitals, and I don't know how you have got that idea from what has been posted on here...

People are simply saying that they use nicknames, as they prefer them to the 'official' names. There is nothing wrong with that, most people do it, and it is nothing to do with 'shame.' You are reaching, and seeing stuff that isn't there.

In addition to this, I don't know ANYone who tells their sons to call their genitalia 'penis and testicles' anyway. I have never heard any boys call it this.

As I said earlier, (and as many people have said since,) I don't know a single female (of any age) who calls it their vulva! As has been said 'only on mumsnet!'

@DobbysLeftSock

Front bum implies the vagina is dirty- a gross hole excreting shit like the anus. I just think it's awful... and the subliminal message probably also doesn't help the whole 'periods are disgusting and should be shameful' thing.

People clearly do feel a lot of shame/discomfort about vulvas though, or they wouldn't be so horrified about children knowing the word.

As has been said 'only on mumsnet!'

You do know that people on Mumsnet are also real life people, don't you?

I may not refer to my vulva when informally chatting to partner/friends but in a medical context it's certainly the terminology I'd use. Why wouldn't I?

And yeah, front bum and front bottom are horrible terms. They manage to be dirty and twee all at the same time.

Only if you think the anus is 'gross' and nothing but a 'hole'. I just see it as another body part - a clever bit of anatomy which performs a necessary biological function. I don't think any part of my body, or my perfect, beautiful girls' bodies, are disgusting. The human body is a wonder; every fibre, every sinew, every sphincter! It is the end result of millions of years of evolutionary success. I don't want my daughters to think any part of them is disgusting or shameful or 'gross'. Bodies are just bodies. We're all just meat sacks in the end.

If there was no discomfort around female genitalia there would be no one saying “vulva is a bit much” “it’s a bit medical” and there would be a commonly accepted equivalent to willy. There isn’t. It’s an interest linguistic imbalance.

I have never heard anyone irl refer to their vulva. That said whenever I have heard anybody discussing theirs or someone elses genitals they always use slang words. That goes for men and women. Possibly the worst I have heard was when a lady in her early 20s said omg my flies are undone to which her boyfriend replied ha ha flash the gash.