“My chuff hurts!”

[AwfulMum123]

I already know IABU but I don’t know what to do about it!

For reasons unknown, when my DD was born I started to use the term ‘chuff’ to refer to her front bottom. I guess I just thought it was a slightly funny word. However, now, to my horror (and - I’ll admit - slight amusement) she has started using it herself when talking about that area! “Mummy, my chuff hurts” etc. What do I do about this? A quick google of the word tells me it is considered vulgar slang and I don’t want her using it long term. It’s slightly amusing when a toddler says it but I feel that pretty soon it will start to seem a bit crude.

What word can I use instead? I don’t want to use the biological terms. Is chuff really that bad? Would you judge me/her for using it?!

Chuffing hell all this angst about what to call your fanny! I've honestly never ever known anyone irl -child nor adult-refer to it as a vulva but as long as they're not referring to it as anything outlandishly rude like cunt or pussy who cares what a child calls their nether regions.

As a child I called it my vulva which was fine. DM was keen we understood about bodies. She even sewed us dolls (in a variety of skin tones) with little willies or embroidered lines for the vulva/bum.

As an adult I use fanjo, foof, downstairs, lady garden, vajayjay or vagina. If I have DCs I will probably teach them vulva/willy like I was.

Vulva is fine. My sister is a police officer and told me that children who know the correct terms for their bodies are more likely to report any abuse that occurs. A poster on here once mentioned that she'd seen cases fall apart due to women being unable to correctly identify their own body parts. So actually I think those are bloody good reasons.

Front bottom is worse than anything else listed here. YABU.

Front bum is the one that's stuck with dd. I get the argument behind the idea of teaching them words that allow them to describe abuse in a way that non-family adults would understand it, but I cant believe that any adult would not react to 'so-and-so touched/hurt my front bum'. Tbh, lovely as they were, a fair few of dd's nursery workers were not overly "book smart" and 'so-and-so touched my vulva' would be more likely to go over their heads! I will teach her vagina and vulva a bit later, as well as labia, penis, scrotum, testicles. Prob when she's about 7 and on the run up to body changes. Until then she doesn't need those words.

Out of curiosity, do those who insist on using the word vulva also use anus? Or is that allowed to be bum?

I thought chuff was a fart so I'd think that was the arsehole hurting. If you are going to use a nickname, probably best not to use one that means several different things.

We were raised on front bum (urgh). My lo knows vulva and penis though knows winkie too and prefers saying that. So uses winkie and 'Volvo' .

I dont use anus but my lo is 2 so doesn't have much of a clue about the holes. But we he gets it, probably. Or more likely bum hole since that's explanatory too. Ill have to resist arsehole as that's my usual, he'll be in trouble for that.

It’s not so when the child reports to the general public, that is known what they are talking about. It’s so when they are interviewed and that goes forward to court it’s straightforward. Nicknames like chuff, foof, and more are not the same as the straight forward vagina, vulva or penis. The defence can tear it apart. It’s brutal, ridiculous and case ending.

If you we’re ever on the other side of an investigation like this, you would understand and instantly start using medical terms first. Terms of endearment can be used but medical terms are a must for all children to know and use. Nicknames are ok to use, as long as medical terms are known and enforced as well.

The sooner your child knows the proper terms the better. Not at 7 or later but as soon as they start talking. You never know when something will happen. I can be something innocent but without the words can come across malicious. It can be malicious but again, without the words, can be seen as innocent.

Please, don’t take this one as being something to be taken lightly. It’s not.

Mind you i don't insist on anything, except for my own child. I don't care what others do, as long as they don't get funny my dc call it a what they do.

Chuff isn't vulgar

Chuff isn't bad. We had a flu' when dd was small, now she's 14 it's either a vag or fanny. I think fanny is quite crude but use it because dd is so easily shocked and so private that coming and saying 'mum, I think x is wrong with my vag' might be easier for her to say.

I was always mortified as a child and teen about periods, breasts, bodily functions and problems. So want dd to be more comfortable than me asking about different things, and giving her a language she feels comfortable with is part of that.

Vulva and vagina is quite medical. Fanny is cruder, but I use it so dd feels comfortable to say vag, which is sort of halfway between medical and slang.

Ds has a widgey. It will probably get shortened to widge. As long as you and your dc know what the correct terms are, but have a comfortable word that is commonly accepted as that body part, I think it is fine to have nicknames for them. And may help your child feel more comfortable.

Don't underestimate how private and easily embarrassed a child or teen or young adult can be discussing bodies. I am open, have 4 sisters so periods and fannys and boobs and bums and everything inbetween have always been discussed between us as adults, in front of our children when appropriate. My lovely niece is 22 with 2 dcs and is still mortified discussing anything remotely to do with her body. My dd is very private as well. And one of my nephews is the same. All brought up in open, loving families where everything is discussed openly.

Fanny is sweet where I live not crude at all,vag on the other hand😱

I think it’s important to think about why this is such an issue. Nobody ever thinks twice about a boy talking about his penis, and if they did, there is a perfectly acceptable colloquial word - willy- that even an adult could use without sounding completely ridiculous.

But somehow the “penis” equivalent for girls is considered too medical, too clinical, and many women are actually confused about what word applies to which part. And then there are a million different slang terms. It’s so sad that there is still such a feeling of shame around women’s genitals.

I don’t think it’s about the “telling the authorititties” thing, either. I think an authority worth it’s salt would know what a child meant by her “Mary Jane” or whatever. I think it’s about women’s sexuality and the fear and shame that we still feel about it.

I personally don't like when kids use the proper words, we say winky and lady bits.
They can say the proper words when they are older.
I am 33 and I still say lady bits unless I'm at the docs and say vagina, the word vulva makes me cringe I think it sounds horrible, like moist

Has anyone reeled out the fake news safeguarding story where a child told a teacher daddy had touched her 'minnie', the teacher didn't report it as she thought that 'daddy' had touched the Childs Minnie Mouse doll?

And THAT is why we are all failing our children by not insisting that they name refer to the vulvas and vaginas with precise anatomical correctness!

All hail the minge pedant!! 🤣🤣

I think if all the words I hate “bits” the most. It sounds so....dismissive. There was a poster earlier who used it in a sentence like “Pull down your nightie-we can all see your bits”. That seems so subliminally shaming to me.

Mary Jane

So we're choosing words based on the idea that children will be abused and need to describe that abuse in court. How depressing.

Most people have words that they don't like saying/don't like the sound of.

Vagina/Vulva may well fall into that category for a lot of people. I've never heard anyone call it that in real life either, but then I don't tend to have in-depth conversations about it!

Every time this gets brought up on MN there are people who get irrationally angry about this. It's very strange.

“So we're choosing words based on the idea that children will be abused and need to describe that abuse in court. How depressing.”

I don’t think we are. But I do think it’s worth considering why such a conversation would be more straightforward in terms of language for a boy than for a girl.

Don't use the word 'chuff' to refer to your vagina in Cornwall. Here a chuff is the county bird - a bit like a blackbird which hops around singing ''chuff, chuff, chuff'. Its protected. Shouldn't be keeping a chuff at all in my opinion!

My dd called it her ‘gina’ to rhyme with ‘finer’.
Obviously I know it isn’t actually the vagina but vulva sounded too clinical for a toddler.
As an adult with two sons she just refers to it as ‘private bits’.

Chuff is a horrible word. It gives me the shivers

cjpark, first time we went to St Michaels mount and did the castle quiz we nearly died laughing because it asked us to look for the chuff
Im from Lincolnshire and round here we would say someone is up yer chuff if they were driving to close.
Dd used bits but when she was 5 we had a memorable occasion when sat with a load of car nuts that she wanted to discuss the new word she had learnt - her vagililly!