“My chuff hurts!”

[AwfulMum123]

I already know IABU but I don’t know what to do about it!

For reasons unknown, when my DD was born I started to use the term ‘chuff’ to refer to her front bottom. I guess I just thought it was a slightly funny word. However, now, to my horror (and - I’ll admit - slight amusement) she has started using it herself when talking about that area! “Mummy, my chuff hurts” etc. What do I do about this? A quick google of the word tells me it is considered vulgar slang and I don’t want her using it long term. It’s slightly amusing when a toddler says it but I feel that pretty soon it will start to seem a bit crude.

What word can I use instead? I don’t want to use the biological terms. Is chuff really that bad? Would you judge me/her for using it?!

But I do think it’s worth considering why such a conversation would be more straightforward in terms of language for a boy than for a girl

I agree with this. There is a whole lot more shame attached to girls/women talking about their bodies than boys.

OP similar happened when my dd was born. My DH called it a Noo Noo as a joke while he was changing her nappy. It just stuck.

We used to called DS's penis a willy too.

We did tell our children what the proper words were regularly and dd liked to discuss the words.

She happily called it her Noo Noo until she was about 11 when she began to use her own words from her peer group.

She's 14 now and the words her and her friends called their private parts are a world of difference - Vag, Missus, Chuff, Muff. They actually talk openly about these, are very comfortable talking about them. Of course they know the proper medical terms. They would have no problem using these in any given situation.

My DS dropped willy at around 8 and started using Penis. That's mainly because he thought the word sounded funnier.

I would relax a bit OP, but make sure your DD knows the real words too.

I think vulva is fine, and no more worried about my daughters knowing that their foof is actually a vulva than I did about my sons knowing their willy is a penis.

It is shit that in 2019 women are horrified and disbelieving that a child would know the actual name of their genitals, and think that even the word is awful.
No one ever worries about a little boy being able to say penis

I suppose a penis is just fine and normal and a vulva is gross and anatomical...

I think the thread title is creepy tbh.

Honestly I don’t understand this business of giving vulvas obscure nn. If a child came to me complaining about their ‘chuff’ I wouldn’t make the connection. If you can’t use the universal terms then say private parts.

Checking in

@BertrandRussell would they though? Mary Janes are shoes where I come from. Look at some of the other nonsense on this thread missy, Mrs C, chippy, noonoo, I don’t think flower has come up yet but I’ve seen it on mn before. In a lot of those cases adults may ask for clarification which could embarrass the child and cause them to withdraw. Ensuring that children are able to effective communicate about their genitalia is a safeguarding issue. The fact that (mostly) girls are prevented from doing so by the parents is quite insidious. It’s the first step in a culture that doesn’t want women to talk about sexual abuse.

Has anyone heard of / used "yoni"? Saw it on tv and had never heard of it before ....

Yes, generally used by people that chant at it and waft burning sage sticks to appease the goddess of fertility and have yoni wall art incorporating lotus flowers and lots of purple paint.

Years ago I visited a friend and she said to me in front of her young nieces, tell us about your new car, and I said, oh I've got a bright blue mini. I was perplexed when they had absolute hysterics.

Chuff is an awful word. It makes me cringe. We just call them bits in our house. DD knows the correct terminology but just prefers to say bits.

What on Earth is a ‘front bottom?!?!??’

Just use the correct term.

This always causes a lively debate. In fact I think small children are well able to use family words and also anatomically correct words when appropriate, They should be equally familiar with formal words. It isnt difficult. Think tummy, trump, bottom, feeling sick, versus abdomen, wind (flatus) buttocks, anus, nausea, vomitting. Many people would think little ones using all the right word sounds a bit odd. The important thing is that children are able to articulate comfortably. And actually it is also important to use words that dont make them stand out as different with their peers at school so straight away you have a problem whichever way you handle it. I do prefer sensible words, close to real, but the vagina /vulva doesnt seem to work really. Provided the child and relevant peopl, family doctors etc understand and no one is embarassed I thing folks are making a bit too much of it

Northerner here too and its in the same vulgar category as "minge".
I'd feel horrible if dd was calling her bits a "chuff". It's something men say in a derogatory way to woman IME. At least where I'm from.

I remember once I was at an engagement party for my exs cousin. Exs dad had gotten quite drunk and as i was walking past him with his group of mates he said, quite loudly and much to the embarrassment/shock of his friends (who I assume knew I was his 19 year old sons gf) "watch out lads!! Bit of chuff coming through!!" being only 19 myself at the time I had never heard if it but I knew it must have been "bad" because if how everyone around him had reacted.
I had to ask someone a few days later in the end.

Yeah down south here and to me chuff is equal to minge and a bit cruder than pussy.

Yoni and Lingam. Problem solved.

Ha ha bless you! Just think of a different name and start using it she's young enough to change. My daughter just calls hers her bottom. Or girlie bits. Vagina or vulva is a bit much in my opinion 😂

A friend of mine used to use Micky and Minnie all very well until they went to Euro Disney. 🤣

My daughter always called it a minky, she was horrified one day when her aunt said her bridesmaid dresses were a minky colour!

@MightyDonut... I'm not sure I approve of that, given it's my actual name!

When DD was young we always called it a noony

Trouble with "yoni" is that it gives me flashbacks to Brian of Hull

This is a Yoni. I have a pair in red, appropriately.

It is shit that in 2019 women are horrified and disbelieving that a child would know the actual name of their genitals, and think that even the word is awful. No one ever worries about a little boy being able to say penis

Agree. The amount of cringing going on over a simple word is so ridiculous. But they've no problems with 'penis' of course...

Every day’s a school day.

I thought the chuff, was your council gritter