To feel terribly embarrassed

[Thornyrose7]

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

Dd who is 6 farted in asda last Saturday and blamed me! Even worse I did actually blush so everyone thought that massive black cloud of stench was me

If it makes you feel any better years ago I grabbed my male boss by the err dangly bits in front of about about 4 people who were assessing his leadership and management skills 🤪it was by accident but oh my giddy aunt - grabbing his dangly bits (they were inside pants and trousers I have to add)

I was at a staff meeting once and the boss farted loudly in front of everyone by mistake. Noone said anything but OMG it was SO funny.

It was in front of about 12 people.

Loving this thread! Nothing makes me laugh as much as a good fart story.

I remember being about 9 and going to an event with my mum. I went for a wee, took the end cubicle and was taking my time nicely, just thinking about life. Some woman runs in, takes the first cubicle, and obviously thinking the coast is clear, slams the door and starts letting RIP. Big ones, little ones, wet ones, squeaky ones... clearly about to burst if she doesn't get them all out. I'm sitting there, tears streaming down my face from silent laughter, when my mum pops her head into the ladies:

"Mamans, are you in there?"
"Yeah!"

The farting suddenly stopped and the poor woman had to wait until we'd left before daring to come out.

My mum and I still laugh about it now, nearly 30 years later.

Standard issue fart story - yoga class.

I kept doing massive fanny farts. Yoga teacher made way to the sound system to turn up the volume to drown out the noise

Ah this has been cathartic reading!

My humiliating public farting career started at a family party when i was a very self conscious 16yo, my mum’s burly cousin picked me up in a bear hug and swung me around - the sheer force of it shocked a massive loud fart out of me, like a whoopee cushion. My face was redder than a red thing for the whole party.

Pregnancy was windy, and gave me really noisy intestines. I sounded like i was constantly farting, but all the noise was internal. Really hard to hide THAT on a packed but silent commuter train.

Can I thank all of you, I have been a bit low this week and you tales have really made me giggle and lifted me!

Fart away people, fart away!

😂😂😂 @Reflexella . Me too!!! Well at least we know our abs are engaging!!!

Bluejava - proper tears at that 🤣🤣🤣

If you're ever cooking for someone you don't like, rustle up some Jerusalem artichokes. They make you fart uncontrollably and magnificently for hours. Ideally, cook them for lunch, send them on their merry way and wait for someone to live tweet the farting lady on a train

Loving this thread so much!
When I was around 7/8 my older brother had his best friend (aged 16ish) round our house. Anyway, his best friend thought I was a little cutie and thought it would be funny to tickle me... i think you can guess where this is going. I let rip the loudest fart ever, i’m certain the next street would have heard it. I bolted up the stairs and hid in the bath until he left

This has cheered me up!!

When I had my first baby I had to have him in theatre in case they needed to do a c section. They topped up my epidural and I started to fart. We were in the little room next to the theatre and it just wouldn’t stop, everyone was bustling around and not taking a blind bit of notice whilst I laid there mortified, it must have gone on for a full minute!

I once slipped badly on a wet floor at a Heathrow coffee shop while waiting to pick up dh. Nearly went arse over breakfast time, as my DF used to,put it, but somehow just managed to save myself.
However I didn't manage to save a really noisy one from exploding forth.
How I managed to carry on with some sort of aplomb I will never know.
Don't fret, OP. We've all done it - well, most of us, anyway. Hold your head high and smile when you next see the bloke you know.

For those who don't know what a queef is, here is a lady queefing on TV.

My gym instructor once went to the loo before our class began wearing her mic that which was linked to the speakers in the studio. She let out the most thunderous fart without realising the mic and speakers were on. The sound was as hilarious as it was terrifying - I nearly wet myself laughing 😆

Oh I’d forgotten about “I’m so sorry Alan”

My pregnancy farts were legendary. DH kept walking into rooms, recoiling and gently saying “Oh that is, um, that’s a bloody eye peeler that is, oh Christ, oh God, I can’t...” whilst looking green and frantically making for the window. Then I had about 3 days of trapped wind which culminated in my assuming various positions in front of the TV one night until it all made its way out; DDog and DH took refuge in the kitchen for almost half an hour until the cloud of stink had cleared

This is a wonderful thread to read when I’m feeling ill and sorry for myself! Always love a fart story, I am never not going to find them funny

Theres a very handsome/glamorous surgeon at work who everyone erm.....admires.
One evening after a long day in clinic I jumped into my car and did a long relaxing end of work fart.
Then to my absolute horror, surgeon knocks on car window and jumps in car to discuss something or other.
The utter shame

My boss & I managed to not know who to blame as we were setting up for an event

He was to my left, as I was putting posters up. I leant kind of over and up to smooth a corner down, just as he reached up to do the same. And got a handful of my very obviously braless boob. Because my halterneck dress had departed company with my upper half as I leant over/up.

We have never spoken of this. But we both know.

Loving this thread, 😂 have been in the company of a few accidental farts, including MIL. I have also done them. 3rd year silent English class, my friend in front of me turned around and patted me on the head!!

Also remember saying goodby to a male acquaintance once, cheek kisses but I ended up kissing him on the neck 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've got a relatively new rescue dog who is mega old. He's a smallish size and likes to sit up against my ladybits because obviously it's warm. I sit with my knees up and legs apart, or some variation of that. So being a windy person, he gets it full blast. And he loved every single time, to sit with my partner. Not only does he not learn not to sit there, but he gives me the same withering look every time it happens.

I like to wind up my OH and my kids by seeing how publicly I can fart without being noticed. Or I do it but I keep my body language and facial expression as neutral as possible so no one will think it's me.

Sometimes OH plays the game back.

God I have a boring life 😅

I fart every time I cough these days. It's like surround sound. Don't stress. You could be me and have precussion in your pants.

The first time I farted in front of DP was about 8 months into the relationship, and mortifyingly occured during the throes of passion - literally mid shag. I heard it, he couldn't have failed to hear it, both carried on as clearly didn't want to ruin the moment. A part of me was dying as well as orgasming. All he said after was "ah well at least I know you were definitely relaxed." 🙈

Crying and laughing so loud...just had to let one go...the dog's got off the settee ....