To feel terribly embarrassed

[Thornyrose7]

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

I was in a supermarket today with my 5 year old DD. Farted, it was silent so I got away with it. It stunk to high heaven and my DD said loudly "mummy have you done a smelly trump". I blamed it on the onions.

I farted whilst seated on one of those metal seat things that you used to find in libraries. I was a teenager and was chucked out of the library!

When I had my first guide dog I took her to an interview. She was snoozing on the floor at my feet when this hideous dog fart smell came wafting up. It really stank, I didn’t know where to put myself. I didn’t want to make a thing of it but I didn’t want them to think it was me. I kept my gob shut but then one of the interviewers got up, walked across the room and fetched a pole, which he then used to open the window.

Needless to say I didn’t get the job.

Bedtime with a reasonably new bf, snuggled up with him behind me. I was very nearly asleep and I farted on his leg. Woke me up ! I was mortified.

Many years ago I was on a hot date with a new man. Travelled about 50 miles to have dinner and then back to his house for the night. Fool that I am I had French onion soup to start. I cannot tell you the agony I was in all night, trying not to fart while shagging and then frightened to go to sleep in case I let one go. I just knew by the churning agony in my bowels that what ever came out would be horrendous. Come the morning, escaped to the bath room and ran the bath taps at full pelt to cover the noise. The bliss as I let out many lavish and lengthy farts was unimaginable. God knows what the room smelled like when I came out. Even more horror followed though when he went in for a bath and I realised that the running taps didn’t deaden the sound at all as I could even hear him brushing his teeth. I was so pleased to leave and drive home and I tell you, I could have got back down the M1 without turning my ignition on. I was jet- propelled. I have never eaten French onion soup again.

Years and years ago when dd was around 4 or 5 we were in M&S food court and I accidently farted

Dd thought it was hilarious and has NEVER bloody forgotten it.

Every time we are in M&S, go past M&S, see an M&S ad or someone mentions M&S she says 'Mum farted in M&S.. hahaha'.

It's been nearly 10 years!! She'll probably put it on my gravestone!

Try dancing in front of a mirror while miming into a hairbrush when your mothers friend who is also the next door neighbour walks in on you......when you're 17. That's embarrassing. Years later i still curl up and die at the memory.

My mum is deaf and just farts, like martini, anywhere, any time, any place. She doesn't think anyone can hear, it's really hard concentrating on a conversation when she is obliviously popping away. Me and my brother have to leave the room chortling away... We are in our 40's.

This all reminds me of my favourite Mn post ever

"I'm so sorry Alan". It was the poster's mum on a stretcher, apologising to the paramedic

It still makes me laugh

@Monkey500

Inside farts
Any way to stop them? Jumping up and down maybe to shift all the food around?

@rareappearance eh?!

We were on holiday when I was nine, and my mum farted long and loud in the gift shop, then turned to try and make it look as if it were me. I was having none of it, so announced with all the subtlety of a nine-year old that it was her. She ran out of the shop giggling uncontrollably, while I remained in the shop doing the same.
When my dad finally managed to find out from her what was going on, he got sent back in to get me because there was no way my mum was coming back after I'd exposed her as the culprit.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=rjrfOcPDKfs

I used to work with a guy who claimed that on his first night with a new gf, he would tell her in the morning that she had farted on his leg. His theory was that she would be so embarrassed he could get away with any similar habits after that and she wouldn't say anything.

I burped on the phone to my boss today - said excuse me and carried on talking. Wasn't uncomfortable at all 🤣

It's a universal truth that if there are more than 2 people in the room, it is almost impossible to work out where the smell came from and even the innocent are paranoid the others will think it was them and unless you are miles apart, it's very hard to accurately identify the source of a noise in a group of people.

The others are probably wondering if it was the other one.

We used to wonder what the strange stomach noises were. They are this www.iffgd.org/symptoms-causes/abdominal-noises.html
Back then we looked it up in a medical book. A lot of families had them in pre internet days.

*Greenfield
*
I'm talking about s thread in Classics, very similar to this one, about farts

The comment was from the posters mum as she farted while being carried out on a stretcher.

It was very, very funny

I work in a shop and I've lost count of the number of people who drop one or several on their way round and don't say anything. in my last job, which was quite a big shop, this was not an issue. In the current job, it is a tiny shop and is a huge issue! I've had to get the air freshener out on many an occasion and dare not make eye contact with my colleague!

DDog, when he was a puppy, once dropped such a smelly fart that we had to open all the car windows! Luckily, I could open all 4 from the driver's seat. He was only tiny, too! DPup has been absolutely rancid, although he is getting a bit better. We had a friend's dog for a couple of weeks and the first time DPup farted after friend's dog arrived, she got up and moved away!

I snigger like a child at these threads.

What kind was it though, as in the sound?! Wet, dry, trumpeting, squeaky, abrupt?

To be honest it's probably best that it wasn't one of the silent variety. They usually stink.

A friend of mine would never fart in front of her boyfriend.
When she was at his house, she used to go into the toilet and hold her bum cheeks apart, so a long squeaky one came out.
When she realised it was still loud, she started using his towel to muffle it.

I remember the first time I farted in front of my DP. He was tattooing my back and I was sat there all nice and relaxed when a little fart slipped out. It completely caught me by surprise so I just ended up blurting out "that was a fart". If I hadn't of said anything he wouldn't have been any the wiser but has great pleasure in retelling the story.

I’m a SAHM and often forget I’m not wearing a bra and generally where loose fitting comfy tops, so I’ve had a few occasions where the food delivery comes and I’m bending down to empty the last trays of shopping only to notice the poor delivery man is extremely embarrassed at having gotten an eyeful of my boobs and not knowing how to react! 😂

Also once I started a new job and on the first day I managed to spill tomato soup all down my shirt, rigourously tried cleaning said shirt in the loos and succeeded in ripping my top two buttons off, so went to my manager holding my boobs in as best I could, he gave me his jumper 😳😳

rare appearance I remember that thread very fondly. Wasn't it that the paramedic wasn't even called Alan ? Iirc that made it even funnier.

What about those times when an inevitable fart is on its way and you try and direct it a little, to muffle the sound. If you're lucky you end up with a Lip Rippler. I bloody love those.

“We are not a family that farts” 😂

Farting becomes even funnier when you call it “flatulence”. I had a colleague who told us about his flatulence, and I’m afraid the rest of us made fart sounds every time he sat down for the rest of the week.

We also discovered Shreddies - the flatulence filtering underwear - that was another week of giggles.