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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel terribly embarrassed

250 replies

Thornyrose7 · 16/05/2019 19:53

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

OP posts:
Ginburee · 17/05/2019 18:14

My children love watching farting and fainting clips on you tube, admittedly they do make me laugh too.

Purplealienpuke · 17/05/2019 18:19

Last night 10 mins before a hot date was arriving, I thought I needed to fart. I shat myself 🙄. I had less than 10 mins to clean myself up.....

MmeD · 17/05/2019 18:20

In my first year at university, I shared a flat with the most perfect woman in the world. She was dainty and neat and beautiful with a don't-touch-me air. The daughter of an ambassador. I was the opposite. Our room was always heaving - men forever casually dropping round. We were sitting round and chatting and laughing one evening with a bunch of them when she laughed too hard and let out the most enormous fart, so much so, that there was a shocked silence afterwards.

We never mentioned it. Sometimes I wonder if it really happened.

Saavhi · 17/05/2019 18:20

Did the same in an exam hall, somehow everyone knew it was me.

Bungalee · 17/05/2019 18:22

Me and my sister were sitting on a bench, I farted and the vibration travelled along the bench!! My sister recognised the scent and was appalled. I just started laughing hysterically due to shame and shock and to make matters worse they was a man sitting on the other side of me!

labazsisgoingmad · 17/05/2019 18:24

i was in my charity shop today and had had a donation of clothes in black bin bags. i had to sort it all so sat on a chair and bent forward to pick out each garment but every time i did i farted! im so glad the shop was quiet today when customers came in i left the sorting until they had left!

DuchessAnnogovia · 17/05/2019 18:27

I farted whilst shopping in Waitrose, very loudly. Luckily the aisle was empty, but it didn't help with my son saying 'There she blows' rather loudly.

Purpl · 17/05/2019 18:33

I suffer really bad silent exceptionally smelly wind caused by food intolerances once I farted really badly whilst waiting to go into a trendy club the bouncers were disgusted with stench and dragged the male suspect and threw in out. No one suspected the 19year old slim well turned out girl that was moi 😂but my mate knew but lucky didn’t grass me up !!!!

SunshineCake · 17/05/2019 18:34

Why on earth would you chose to take your knickers off when told it doesn't matter?

DDog always looks so confused when she farts. She doesn't do it much so probably doesn't know what is happening.

Crazyladee · 17/05/2019 18:37

I once reached across the desk and neatly put my boob in to my boss's open hand

I did this too but in reverse to my doctor!!!

So I cupped her boob as I stretched my arm out the same time she lent over the desk to put the blood pressure cuff on me! Blush

stargazer101 · 17/05/2019 18:53

They say a boob in the hand is better than two in the bushSmile

Catsinthecupboard · 17/05/2019 19:02

What? Nobody with a fart that ended with a question mark?

(Still a favorite chuckle)

Siameasy · 17/05/2019 19:12

😂
I still cringe about a holiday boob mishap
Ibiza 96 sitting on balcony with some guys we’d met. I was wearing a cami vest no bra. Leaned forward and when I sat back up the vest was under my boobs, the boobs were out on display like on a shelf

MrsTommyShelby · 17/05/2019 19:20

This thread is brilliant!
My partner has spent the past year farting, catching it in his hand and throwing it into my face. I've lost count of the times it's nearly made me vomit. It's awful. I used to hold in my farts around him but I've given up now after this!

Morningcoffeelover · 17/05/2019 19:32

🤣🤣🤣 farts always make me giggle. My son's are disgusted with me when I fart. I too farted in yoga. No idea it was coming. Never went back.

At work I was in the office by myself and farted thinking I would be safe. I was horrified that it was so stinky. I was promptly opening all the windows and waving my arms about before anyone came back in. It still smelt a bit when the others came back but no one said anything. I had to struggle not to burst out laughing all afternoon. 😆

Bluntness100 · 17/05/2019 19:36

Is it just me that doesn't know how this happens? Unless your desperate to fart, how do you have absolutely no control over it?

Rainbowbrite11 · 17/05/2019 19:37

I used to be a hairdresser before I had my children, this particular day will make me cringe till the day I die. I was just finishing a client got the mirror to show him the back bent down a little to show him his hair in the back mirror and farted so loud, there was nobody else working on the salon floor. So I just totally ignored it but I went bright red. In a salon full of mirrors I'm sure he could see I'd gone bright red and was dying of embarrassment tipped me £5 so I think he felt sorry for me. 😂

Angie169 · 17/05/2019 19:54

This has had me in stitches.
MNHQ this has to go into classics PLEASE .

ClaudiasWinkleMan · 17/05/2019 19:55

A few weeks ago I was in my car on the way to the shops. Felt a fart coming, let it go only to realise it was no fart. Had to turn car around and go shower. All good no witnesses, no worries.
Until later that day when I fell and broke my leg. I couldn’t move and was on my own so called an ambulance. One of the questions was had I had any incontinence issue so had to tell the lovely operator that earlier that day I had shit myself. No idea how it was relevant to my situation. So thought i’d gotten away with it.

Mythreefavouritethings · 17/05/2019 20:05

I admit, this is one of those threads I wasn’t going to open but this reminds me of the time when I was a student looking for a couple of quid under the sofa cushion and found a tenner. Not sure whether it’s worse to be caught out by the noise or the smell but at least it goes quickly enough (I refer you to the leaking period thread yesterday). Let’s file this under Gone With The Wind, like it never happened, shall we? 💐

woodhill · 17/05/2019 20:10

It's usually when you need to wee in my experience

labazsisgoingmad · 17/05/2019 20:20

oh yes woodhill seems to be when you have had kids you can fart and pee at same time

mommaof2xx · 17/05/2019 20:28

This thread is so funny!!

I once went shoe shopping with my mum in Clark's, and my mum was sat on the buffet things they have in there. The lady brought out mums size shoe and stood there whilst she tried them on. When she bent down to put the shoe on she let out the loudest fart ever. She was messing with the buckles for ages just because she was too embarrassed to sit back up. Even though she liked the shoes she didn't want them and we made a very quick exit. The whole time I was going blue trying not to burst out laughing, I had to pretend I was browsing at the other shoes 🤣

olbndansmummy · 17/05/2019 20:35

Dh could fart for England! Sometimes the smell is so bad I heave, while he sits crying with laughter! We are a family of farters and all let em rip! When I go for my first wee of the day I always have a good fart, but the toilet gives them a very echoey sound that dh calls my whale noises!

HolyCrapBatman · 17/05/2019 20:37

I was laying in bed with my DP and I was struggling with morning sickness. I gagged and a really loud fart came out. I just felt the bed move where my DP had spun round to stare at me. Wishing I had the ability to melt into the bed but realising there was no way I could get out of it I just raised my hand arm and said it was me. Cue fits of laugher from my DP (alright i did cry with laughter too)
To this day he still takes the piss by raising his arm and saying it was me.

Why on earth would I even need to of confirmed to him that it was me.. like there was 50 other people in the room or something 🙄🙄

Another time was in the car with DP and FIL, FIL had a dodgy tummy and was letting some rank ones out. Except it was my turn and the smell was awful.. DP blamed FIL and FIL said oh well I didn’t think I did but maybe it slipped out when we went over the speed bump. Still haven’t admitted it was me Grin. Chuckling to myself as I am typing this. Loving this thread