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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel terribly embarrassed

250 replies

Thornyrose7 · 16/05/2019 19:53

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

OP posts:
memaymamo · 17/05/2019 04:44

Is this a good place to mention the James Joyce fart letter to Nora Barnacle? Grin

Dontcallmebarbs · 17/05/2019 05:38

One evening I dropped my dh for a work dinner. We arrived at the restaurant and when my dh got out the car, I let one slip. It was very smelly and I was so relieved to be in the car alone. At that point my dh boss arrives at my window to say hello!!! So he stood there and I was forced to open my window... He got the full force of that puppy... When I saw my dh at the end of the evening he and we’re almost crying with laughter / embarrassment!

EngagedAgain · 17/05/2019 06:37

Not rtft, but I think the best way to deal with embarrassment especially in front of men is to joke about it. It kind of clears the air, so to speak!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2019 06:38

Taking some new medication atm. Making me very loose of bowel but interestingly seems to have stopped any flatulence. I suppose it must all comes out at the same time in one smelly mess in the loo. Sorry tmi.

My old dog used to fart a lot, smell his bum then move. Bless him. ❤️

SerenDippitty · 17/05/2019 07:22

Usually the first thing I want to do on getting off a plane is fart. The walk to passport control is usually jet propelled.

LittleCandle · 17/05/2019 07:30

We were going around York Minster undercroft and had stopped to admire the model of the Minster that was there. It wasn't too busy, so we were lingering. A man came in just behind us, had a quick squint at the model and moved on. The stench he left behind was probably strong enough to raise the dead, and we had to swiftly move on too!

I sniggered then, as well.

NameChangeNugget · 17/05/2019 07:42

I’d have made light of it.

PinkGlitter123 · 17/05/2019 09:17

My sister came to speak to me when I was on the sofa lying down. For a joke I decided to let one go. It came out so loud that she ran back on fright with her arms up in defence and a terrified look on her face 😂. Once she realised we were both killing ourselves laughing

Dillydallyalltheway · 17/05/2019 09:36

Very childish I know, but I farted in the lift of our local Tesco’s a few weeks ago, I was giggling about it, hubby was gagging (have to admit it was a well brewed one) when we got to the bottom, the lift door opened and there was a man and lady waiting to go in to the lift. Exit one very embarrassed me and one cringing hubby. Shock Shock Grin

daisyboocantoo · 17/05/2019 11:35

My friend was sitting on my bedroom floor, and let a never ending, thunderous one rip.

My poor dad was in the garage, and almost had a heart attack with the shock. He came running up the stairs, worried that something had happened to one of us... BlushConfusedGrin

mollpop · 17/05/2019 12:48

I was at the dentist a few months ago, reclined in the chair. The dentist was behind me. I had a good stretch reaching my arms behind my head and mistakenly touched his willy. I was absolutely mortified. He thought it was hilarious Blush

Lllot5 · 17/05/2019 12:54

I remember on one occasion there were workmen outside laying cables for cable tv years ago now.
One knocked on the door with an empty bucket asking could he have some water. I took the bucket off of him and walked to my kitchen with my back to the door I let one go. It was a proper trumpet, reverberated round the room, scared the cat the works. I finished filling his bucket at the tap turned round to go back and give it to him and unbeknownst to me he had followed me in to the house and was standing at the kitchen door. The look on his face was a picture.

S0CKS · 17/05/2019 13:37

First time i had sex with dh i farted... It happens!

MTBMummy · 17/05/2019 14:06

I once accidentally grabbed a random strangers crotch on a train, I'd just nabbed a seat and reached across to pull the arm rest down, missed the arm rest and full on grabbed this poor blokes crotch

I've also had to carry our training course to a group of young apprentices, while my stick on strapless bra (why in gods name did I think that was a good idea) came unstuck and I had to try and tuck it into the waistband of my jeans to prevent it falling out the bottom of my top.

And finally, when heavily pregnant I tried to bend down to pick up something I had dropped, and in doing a giraffe at a watering hole impression, I shuffled a bit backwards and planted my arse firmly against my CEO's crotch.

I really shouldn't be allowed out in public.

Confusedbeetle · 17/05/2019 14:11

You see this is the problem, to ignore or confess. I fart all the time and generally hope no one hears. In fact its only when my daughters comment that I realise everyone does hear. If you apologise then they have to say something back

LakieLady · 17/05/2019 14:27

We also discovered Shreddies - the flatulence filtering underwear - that was another week of giggles.

DP regards farting as a hobby. When I showed him the Shreddies website, he looked mystified and declared that they would take all the fun out of farting.

I refuse to get in a lift with him, as he thinks dropping a stinker in a crowded lift is some sort of achievement.

BottleBeach · 17/05/2019 14:34

I was once in the garden at my boyfriend’s house. He’d just bought an orange plastic emergency shelter survival bag for hiking, and we were checking we could both fit in it. While we were lying there on the grass chatting, I accidentally let out a SBD. Really foul. I reckon it must have had some kind of chemical reaction with the orange plastic, and it was trapped in the bag with us 😬 We were just in the middle of that horrified, mortified, about to fall about laughing moment, when his very prim mother came out to see how we were getting on and offer us a cup of tea. She crouched down to the entrance of the shelter, got a whiff, and physically recoiled so hard she almost fell over backwards!

KittenMittens1 · 17/05/2019 15:43

😂😂😂😂 This entire thread!

I'm sat at my desk in the office (avoiding doing anything productive as Its a Friday afternoon and have a major case of CBA) Literally trying my hardest to not burst into fits of laughter to give myself away!

Theres a few things that I've done to add to this thread:

1 - I Laugh and Fart all the time! like everytime I laugh like truly laugh, I fart. (yes reading this thread is proving hard) So as you guessed it, on my wedding day the Vicar decided to make us laugh during our ceremony with a bit of banter, which was truly hilarious. I laughed like there was no tomorrow (as did everyone else in the church), then I farted. Everyone stopped laughing, I turned around and looked at everyone and we all started crying with laughter. even the Vicar had to hold himself up at one point, I laughed again which resulted in me again farting. The Vicar even pointed out where the toilets where half way through. Mortified!

2 - Hubby (Partner at the time) was watching something on the tele while i was reading, and I had no control over a fart that popped out, So loud and noisy it actually made him jump to the point he threw his coffee in the air. 😂😂

divafever99 · 17/05/2019 15:53

This thread is gold! My dd (3) is always farting in public and then will shout out she has done it!

fairiesandelves · 17/05/2019 17:32

On our last holiday DH had popped back to the room. I was dozing by myself around the very busy pool area, on my side, on a sun lounger when I did a massive fart. My swimsuit was still wet from a swim so it kind of reverberated around my bum and back. People sat next to me started sniggering. I muffled a laugh then another little fart came out. Oh the shame !!

fairiesandelves · 17/05/2019 17:44

When DS was young he let out the foulest fart in front of the Crown Jewels at the Tower of London. You have to go on a travelator to keep people moving and it stops for about a minute in front of the crown Jewels before moving on. We were packed on there like sardines and there was no escape. My god that minute Seemed like An eternity and it lingered like fog. People were coughing and an American tourist started shouting about who had let off an egg bomb!

TheOrigBrave · 17/05/2019 17:54

I overtook a woman in the final stretch of a 5K race last week as she was letting out a stream of tiny farts. It's hard to clench and run hard!i didn't know whether to laugh or clap!

Herbella · 17/05/2019 18:03

@Thornyrose7
I honestly don't think a couple of blokes are going to be bothered: it's the nature of blokesot fart alot - they might have thought it made you more approachable.

When I was a kid I had dreadful uncontrollable wind.... thinking back I must have had some kind of digestive issue and although I did grow out of it I let out so many farts in class, in Brownies, wherever.....that it's a wonder I had any friends at all.

ButterscupsRevenge · 17/05/2019 18:05

Getting out of the car for school pick up with mum in tow I let a loud one off, unfortunetly a dad from my son's class was in ear shot and definetly heard by the look on his face. I did the only reasonable thing in that situation... 'MUM! I can't believe you just did that!'

happygemini13 · 17/05/2019 18:06

No fart stories but I used to be a manager and we had to wear proper shirts. I was given a smaller size and told to make do until we got new ones in. We had a managers meeting with about 8 of us, mostly men and my buttons popped open and revealed my bra. Worst thing is I didn't notice until another manager stood in front of me and pulled my shirt closed. It was a full Richard and Judy at the awards moment. Thankfully I was wearing a nice bra and have what I like to think are a lovely pair. Still mortifying though Blush