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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel terribly embarrassed

250 replies

Thornyrose7 · 16/05/2019 19:53

I know there have been lots of similar threads. But today I went into a quiet staff room with two maintenance guys sitting in there ( one I know to talk to) and while I was making my drink a fart slipped out without any warning. Not a stinker, but noisy. I tried to brazen it out , ignored it,and even stayed for a chat!I am old enough not to care. But I am so embarrassed and keep cringing. AIBU to not be able to stop thinking about it?

OP posts:
MingeOnFire · 16/05/2019 21:23

For anyone that missed it and wants more giggles or to feel better about their windy backsides, thread from a couple of months ago. I was actually crying with laughter at some of these

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3512729-please-make-me-feel-better-with-your-farty-stories?pg=1&order=

acowmooooo · 16/05/2019 21:25

My MIL farted in front of me not long after I'd met DH. She got carried away when eating roasted chestnuts....They didn't agree with her and she did the loudest fart I've ever heard. I couldn't hide my shock that the noise I'd just heard came out of her arse.

She was then completely mortified that she'd farted in front of me, saw DHs jaw on the ground and she couldn't help but burst into fits of laughter... and then pushed out the worlds longest fart the entire time she was laughing. Every time she stop to catch her breath the fart would stop and then continue when she started laughing again. It was quite impressive really.

I knew at that moment that we'd get on well. Grin

Fedup21 · 16/05/2019 21:26

My stomach keeps making these weird noises that are like farts that go off before they get to my bum. It’s awful.

God, this happens to me. So embarrassing!

What are they and how can I stop them!?

managedmis · 16/05/2019 21:27

I almost cupped a colleagues balls the other day by holding a door open for him. My hand was at a bad height on the door.

He looked perplexed as I scooted away

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 16/05/2019 21:29

My older boss has often gone to the loo then come out with a tiny bit of wee on his cotton trousers from the end of his willy. I never mention it obvs 😳

DontCallMeShitley · 16/05/2019 21:33

I worked with a woman who would walk past me (and presumably anyone else) and with every step a little fart escaped. The floor also creaked so what I heard was creak, pop, creak, pop, creak, pop until she had gone, followed by 'Sorry darling'.

Once went to my GP with patchy skin on my front. He knelt down to look at my waist just as I lifted my bra to show him the rash under it and my boobs dropped onto his face. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he peered up at me Grin.

JockTamsonsBairns · 16/05/2019 21:33

It's scarred me so much that I will never wear a skirt without two pairs on now.

But what good does that do, if it's the outer pair's elastic that snaps? Grin

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 16/05/2019 21:33

Chattycatty ah well a boob in the hand is worth two in the bush eh? 🤣

Greenfield19 · 16/05/2019 21:36

@Fedup21 I wish I knew!!

hellymart · 16/05/2019 21:37

Thank you, thank you. This has made me laugh soooo much. (I was in the kitchen once with our rather gorgeous builder and I coughed and a huge fart came out! Mortified!) We've all done it and, let's face it, it's bloody funny....

Violetroselily · 16/05/2019 21:37

I was in a meeting which went very quiet as we all read a document for a couple of minutes

My stomach made the most awful fart noise, but without actually farting. I was sat in the middle of two other people and they clearly both thought I had just let rip. I wanted to die.

ItsHardToExplain · 16/05/2019 21:37

I read a story on reddit where a young boy couldn’t go to sleep every night because of a loud scary duck coming to get him.
One day his mum came upstairs to calm him down and she realised that it was the sound of his dads farts echoing around the bathroom when he was doing a poo.

itshappened · 16/05/2019 21:37

I still cringe about the day I farted in assembly at school. Boys kept coming up to me and making fart sounds for days afterwards. I was only 9 but will never forget the shame.

HelpMyKnickers · 16/05/2019 21:38

But what good does that do, if it's the outer pair's elastic that snaps?

At least if I have two on, my bare arse and / or vagina won't be on display if I do trip over when the outer pair are round my ankles Grin

XXcstatic · 16/05/2019 21:40

Once went to my GP with patchy skin on my front. He knelt down to look at my waist just as I lifted my bra to show him the rash under it and my boobs dropped onto his face. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he peered up at me

GP here, LOL at that Grin

Mumsymumphy · 16/05/2019 21:40

"I even tried to bang my cup and spoon about" 🤣🤣excellent.

I remember to this day, after having my eldest DD (26 years ago) the midwife coming to check my stitches - I'd had a 3rd degree tear. She parted my bum cheeks and - woooofff! Got a load of fart in her face. I think I was too tired/in pain at the time to even care. I can laugh about it now 🤣🤣🤣

TheTrollFairy · 16/05/2019 21:41

When me and my DP were in the early stages of getting together I got so drunk and was at his house throwing up, he actually came into the bathroom to check I wasn’t crapping myself at the same time as puking as so much fart was coming out of me.
My mum doesn’t find farting funny so my DD doesn’t find it funny when at my mums house either and I laugh each time she farts. When we leave she always says to me ‘I suppose it was a bit funny’ with a cheeky grin.
We are a family of farters, even on my FIL death bed he was making jokes about farts

FrannySalinger · 16/05/2019 21:43

The lady next to me at yoga tonight farted three times. I was rather glad she was next to rather than in front of me.

After all that excitement she proceeded to fall asleep in relaxation and snored very loudly.

percheron67 · 16/05/2019 21:48

What is a Queef??

Mumsymumphy · 16/05/2019 21:49

Queef= fanny fart

Iamtinkabella · 16/05/2019 21:49

What is a Queef??
@percheron67

a fanny fart

BlueMerchant · 16/05/2019 21:50

Just today I bent down to try on some new trainers in the posh sports shop in town and farted at the young sales assistant who I didn't realise had crept up behind me.

bordellosboheme · 16/05/2019 21:50

I was in a massive meeting of 200 staff and a new CEO today. 15 minutes before the end of the meeting I had a massive coughing fit and had to leave the room, making 10 people stand up so I could get past them. Cringe.

Pinotjo · 16/05/2019 21:52

I reached behind myself, trying to grab my chair at work and grabbed a colleagues WILLY! Still not lived it down, 15 years later the story is told to new starters as an ice breaker!

ShitAtScarbble · 16/05/2019 21:53

I was once viewing a commerical property with a new (to me) business associate. It was an old place with winding corridors and small staircases leading to old hidden rooms. Bent slightly to get up some steep narrow stairs and squeaked one off in his face. Right in his face!
There was no coming back from that but thankfully he laughed and helped me through my mortification!