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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother in law strange behaviour?

154 replies

bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:08

My mother in law is having one of my children today and overnight. Lovely!

My husband came home from Work and Said that they had spoken on his way home.

According to her my son’s shoes don’t fit properly so she Will go into town tomorrow to buy new ones.

Now they are new shoes so i explained they are a little hard and need to be Worn in but he has Worn them a few days and no conplaints so far from him or nursery.

She has a history of buying my children clothes and wanting to show her style through them!

She never contacted me to tell me what she thought though. I asked my husband:
had she not have mentioned it would he have noticed they were ill fitting .

He didnt know. 😉

Is this strange?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 16/05/2019 17:10

Oh well, then he’ll have two pairs of shoes!

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:12

Haha true ....but odd way to go about it.

Not a gift .

OP posts:
Echobelly · 16/05/2019 17:13

It's a bit odd - I wouldn't be too perturbed (or surprised) if I picked up my kids from MIL to find out she had bought them new ones because she wasn't sure about the fit of the ones the child had on, and she'd do it in a slightly passive-aggressive implying I'm not paying attention to things way. But maybe that's just her.

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 16/05/2019 17:13

I feel a drip feed coming...

I'd laugh it off and (as Bertrand said) be happy he now had 2 pairs of shoes.

Lakefront · 16/05/2019 17:16

On a scale of 1-10 for strange behavior I'd put that at #1.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:17

He already has several pairs of shoes!

Really doesn’t need anymore - i’m big on sustainable fashion and not buying things we dont need.

OP posts:
Marvelendgame · 16/05/2019 17:18

I think you have to ask yourself, how would you react if your own mother did this?

My ds had some shoes that were a bit clunky, my dad didn't like them he said they looked too heavy. One day he bought ds a pair of trainers. Which to be fair were great.

Now I could have taken the huff and said it was none of my dads business, or I could just be happy that ds has extra shoes and a grandparent who cared enough to buy him some!

foreverhanging · 16/05/2019 17:18

I would just donate them when they come back if you don't need them, I'm sure someone would appreciate them :) it is weird but sounds like something my MIL or DM would do

Itssosunny · 16/05/2019 17:19

Let her buy him a pair of fancy trainers then.

BertrandRussell · 16/05/2019 17:19

Actually, if he’s nursery age his shoes shouldn’t need wearing in- so maybe she’s right!

ImNotNigel · 16/05/2019 17:20

It would annoy me too but I’d not mention it to her or discuss it in any way. Because if she was doing it to annoy me, I wouldn’t want to reward her behaviour.

If I didnt like the shoes, I’d give them to the charity shop and never mention it again. In the event that she asked about the shoes I’d just say airily “ oh yes hes grown out them now “ and change the subject.

choli · 16/05/2019 17:20

She spoke to the child's father, who is an equal parent to the mother. Nothing strange there.

formerbabe · 16/05/2019 17:21

Yeah, what a bitch... buying shoes and babysitting.

Have a word with yourself op.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:22

Doubt my husband has a clue to be honest!

OP posts:
Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:24

Nope , she wants to buy shoes because the ones he has do not fit her taste.

The shoes arent needed.

Had she asked ” does he need anything ? I would like to buy him something ” then that would be a different matter.

Personally hate over consumption .

OP posts:
Deelish75 · 16/05/2019 17:25

As long as she’s not expecting you to pay for them I would thank her and keep them as back up

nwybhs · 16/05/2019 17:25

Well hard shoes that need to be worn in are not really appropriate for nursery children so it sounds like she is right tbh. I wouldn't be fussed by this, it's more shoes, no big deal.

TixieLix · 16/05/2019 17:25

If MiL does buy new shoes, just make sure she gets ones that fit your DS properly.

BertrandRussell · 16/05/2019 17:26

Don’t sweat the small stuff! You’re not consuming- she is.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:26

Hahahahaha!

OP posts:
SpecterLitt · 16/05/2019 17:27

She sounds awful, looking after your children and buying them things.. you'd think she may just.. LOVE THEM!! Shock

Honestly, I never hear such nonsense in real life, these "problems" appear MN exclusive. Most people actually are appreciative that in-laws love their grandchildren.

Get some perspective, please Hmm.

AmphetamineGazelle · 16/05/2019 17:28

If she is buying, suck it up and use as nursery/playing shoes. If not, get DH to tell her he doesn't want her to buy shoes or see if you can get a credit note without receipt.

Does my nut in that mothers/mils 'gifts' come with conditions. I am still smarting at my mother insisting she has all clothes bought for DD back after they have beeb outgrown so she can give then to her neice's child. She cries if I don't offer all clothes but I sold the last lot on ebay. It was worth it.

Also, you could sell the shoes on fb. They do sell well.

Lumene · 16/05/2019 17:28

Is she spending her own money on them or yours?

Sounds a bit annoying but a small price to pay for overnight babysitting.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 16/05/2019 17:31

This is not about showing love.

Why not Show love With time , attention and affection instead of buying things that are NOT needed.

It’s a control issue.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 16/05/2019 17:34

Why not Show love With time , attention and affection instead of buying things that are NOT needed

But you said she's looking after him today and having him overnight?!

It's not the end of the world fgs...so, your ds will have an extra pair of shoes. That will be useful.

What a moaner you are. I'd swap...my mil couldn't give a shit.

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