To ask if you call your DH everyday when you get off work?

[Justcurious1]

A colleague of mine phones her DH everyday as soon as she gets off work, literally as soon as she gets out of the door. We get off at the same time everyday, and she phones him aswell in her lunch break. I know it's none of my business, but I'm just curious how many of you do this? And if it's a done thing and I'm the odd one out? I sometimes wonder why she doesn't just go home without calling?

HelveticaSurprise

Jeez, why do you have to be so scathing in your replies though? It really does seem like this topic has hit some sort of a nerve with you. Bloody hell, I mean you have enough time to post on MN, as do the rest of the people posting here, so is it a stretch to say that we and you if you wanted to, could also send a quick text..........

I want to know what jobs you all do too. DH and I have no set breaks or lunch hours and both have busy schedules, running and attending meetings, working with colleagues, on calls etc. If DH kept phoning of texting me and I responded (or vice versa) this would not look at all good. In my office, a personal phone all would equal an emergency.

We don't send endless texts or have countless telephone conversations during the day and I never said we did. I am pretty sure most people have the time to have at least 1 conversation or text during the day even if they are at work. Surely most people get a break?

I used to work in an office so no problem with DH giving me a quick call in the mornings. Most of the people in the office received personal calls during the day, a lot of them far more than I did.

DH works for himself so can make or receive calls. If he is busy it will just be a quick call or text. I don't work so have all the time in the world to chat, text, facebook etc!

@mydogisthebest yes people seem to be deliberately over exaggerating what others have said to fit their clingy/needy narrative

BarbarAnna
you find the time to post on MN during office hours (so do I , I am not judging ), a txt, email or phone call to DH wouldn't take that much longer.

Yep we do. We both work in same industry but different companies and he's away quite a bit so we have a download on the journey home discussing each other's day and issues that have cropped up or as I did the other day, a positive change in my job.

@HelveticaSurprise I work in a school p/t dh works manually outside

Helvetica, why do you think people who actually speak to the OH's during the day are "obsessive communicators"? It might only be 1 short call or a text.

Do you not know anyone who speaks to their OH's during the working day because I certainly do. I know both my siblings do and when I sit in the garden to eat my lunch I can hear my neighbour speaking to her DH on the phone. I also know quite a few of my friends do.

I have finished for the day @PamelaX but DH hasn’t, so I still wouldn’t bother him unless I needed to tell him something urgent.

Honestly, I always imagine people who feel the need to be in contact that often are either the type of people who need to narrate every single thing to someone ('Here I am turning on my computer, and now I'm going to make a nice cup of tea while it's starting up, oh, the kettle's already boiled, how nice, now where are the teabags? Oh, here they are, I must be blind? Now, spoons, spoons...' etc etc) or half of the kind of joined-at-the-hip couple who like to go about wearing matching fleeces and don't have many other people in their lives.

Meow! Why because someone doesn't do what you do would you think this? Could it not be some middle ground?

Yeah it's the first thing I do when I leave and visa versa.

It's to check in, discuss the day, is there anything we need to pick up on the way home, jobs tonight etc. Mainly so we know the game plan for when we get home/probably just habit!

To be honest, when DH is working he is working and very focused. Any attempt at chatting with him when he's working is doomed to failure. He also wouldn't see the point of chatting during work hours when we can chat in our own time at home.

We text nonsense to each other throughout the day a lot of the time - sometimes it can just be one message about what's for tea, sometimes loads back and forth about a new TV show coming out or a thing in the news or whatever. He has a long commute so he often calls me to keep him amused on the way home and I have him on loudspeaker while I cook.

I think this is an age thing (although willing to be proven wrong) - I think nothing of being in relatively constant contact with anybody thanks to being in my late twenties and having grown up with MSN Messenger where you'd come home from school and spend 4 hours talking to people you'd seen all day, and now WhatsApp groups where I have constant updates and messages from friends and colleagues.

So for me, although obviously if one of us is mega busy or distracted or away with work etc etc we don't chat, it would feel weirder not to at all!

Yes, we do. He has a 90min commute and likes to check in to let me know he’s caught his train. If he gets the earlier train he’s usually back just in time to say goodnight to DS so if he gives me a ring so I can plan bedtime accordingly, and DS gets to say hi.

@HelveticaSurprise I work in FS, currently multi tasking whilst holding for a provider to answer a query.

OH is home by the time I leave work, he has a manual outdoor job.

Always call him on the way home, does he need anything etc. Any plans for the evening.

Most days before I leave to commute home. Generally about whether we need bread and milk or bread or who is sorting stuff out.
Odd text during the day.

No but I do text or DP texts if it's something important or just a 'love you' text at lunch time, lately it's been a bit more of DP checking up on me to see how I am in work as I'm 33 weeks pregnant and starting to feel a bit drained 😪

@Iloveacurry Ahhh, I think that's quite nice.

No, I very rarely ring my husband as I hate speaking on the phone. If he saw I was ringing he’s be worried it was an emergency!

We sometimes text each other at lunchtime but not every day. If we text after work it’s to confirm who is picking dd up from nursery.

We don’t tend to have a proper chat each day until dd is in bed really.

I don't think it is an age thing. Me and DH are in our 60's. We just get on well and are always chatting. I am a very chatty person and DH is not much better!

We usually message or chat on the phone at least once per day. Not in any sort of checking-up-on-each-other way - we just like talking to each other, and neither of us are people who feel much need for our own space (from each other). I think that calling / texting every day is a reflection of your individual personalities rather than some indicator about your relationship - every relationship is different, and talking more or less doesn't make you relationship better or worse than anyone else's.

Me and DH ring quite a lot. If he’s at work he will call in his lunch break and again when he finishes.

If I’m at work I always ring him in the evening and then again when I’m leaving work at about 9pm.

We do it just to see how we each are and to let the other one know we are on our way home.

Never. Unless we have plans to meet somewhere after work or there is something specific to tell.

I'm a SAHM but never did when I was working and DH doesn't. He sometimes rings me on his lunch break but not every day, just now and again.

Funnily enough my partner and I don't feel the need to narrate every single thing we do, we're not joined at the hip wetting matching flannels - I did suggest matching Christmas pjs but got shot down😭😂 we have other people in our lives and I can hand on heart promise you that this is not an abusive relationship in anyway shape or form.

My partner works in a large center where multiple public sector organisations are based, and I'm currently a SAHM working on an online business (is this vague enough for mn standards?)

My partner will text everyday when he arrives at work and will message every evening when he is leaving work and we talk at random intervals through the day about anything and everything, I'm always surprised that we've not ran out of anything to talk about... we also talk at home quite a bit or just sit in silence it depends. I don't find it odd and I don't find it odd if you don't do this.

What I do find odd is that the general consensus is that it must be an abusive relationship if there's this level of communication and that people can go weeks without talking to their partner, but then again, each to their own.