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Original poster

Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

331 replies

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 14/05/2019 10:18

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

OP posts:
greencurry · 15/05/2019 19:50

Is this a fucking joke? £1400 a month after mortgage, bills, credit cards, and kids activities? Surely you know you're well-off Hmm

Jimdandy · 15/05/2019 19:54

I don’t think £350 a week is excessive for 5 people.

Our shopping and toiletries bills is £100 - £120 a week (not a bad amount per person)

Then it only leaves £230 a week, my stepdaughters bus pass and pocket money is then £22 a week, dancing is £5.

Then there’s clothes, haircuts, going out at weekends, shoes that need replacing etc

Loreleigh · 15/05/2019 19:58

You don't need financial assistance of any kind you just need to get a grip of the money you do have coming in and maybe look at changing the way you budget. You put 'eating out' and 'presents' on the living on expenses - these are things that could be reduced. Also, new clothes are not regular essentials and food is something you may be able to buy bulk or shop more wisely to cut costs a bit.

I don't think your pride is a problem but your wife's request/demand that you ask your parents for money is - you are adults with kids of your own and a reasonable chunk of cash each month, so tighten your belts, cut back on luxuries, stop booking holidays for now if you can't really afford them. I'd love to have £1,400 a month after bills! Compared to many you are very well off and asking parents for financial help would make you look like a pair of ungrateful spendthrifts - appreciate all you have and use it more wisely.

ChodeofChodeHall · 15/05/2019 19:58

You 'barely' see your parents, yet you see them once a fortnight? Which is it?

Holyshitbags · 15/05/2019 20:02

Jeeeeeesus
We have only a little bit more than that per week to LIVE off - and I mean BEFORE bills/mortgage/food/cars and other stuff
But you know what? we still live a decent life. As a family we are always well dressed (nobody knows that our clothes are second hand - we probably spend less than £15 a month on clothes) we drive a car each, we have days out (albeit mostly free places) and we’re going on holiday for 10 days (to Scotland)
We even manage to save a bit of money, so £350 a week excess - if you can’t live on this amount as an EXCESS you should be ashamed. If I were your parents I’d be disappointed to be asked for money.

Shinesweetfreedom · 15/05/2019 20:06

I can’t believe she is a grown up and thinks you should run to mummy for a hand out.Seriously,you need to get the spending under control.

Difficult2018 · 15/05/2019 20:09

Oh my god- is this serious? We brought our first property 2 years ago whilst I was on MAT leave and are still struggling to regain our financial stability- we live off of £50 a week, food, fuel and spending money. If we don’t have the money we can’t do whatever it is planned. £350 a week? HOW could that not be enough?? Makes me want to cry a bit

Maemae06 · 15/05/2019 20:13

I think your wife sounds spoilt and the thought of asking your parents is actually incredibly cheeky! You are both the parents now so time to sort your finances out and grow up!! You could give yourselves £200/week and still have very fortunate lifestyles while paying £150/week off your debt!! As soon as this debt is paid this money can be put into a savings account which would be a huge amount to save per month.seriously sort yourselves out and stand on your own two feet!!

GabsAlot · 15/05/2019 20:16

Thats an actual wage thats not struggling-We have the most 500 left for food extras etc some months not even that

MommaDuck · 15/05/2019 20:43

I earn 1300 per month, single mum, 2 children. We manage, it’s tight. But we manage with no debt.

Mummadeeze · 15/05/2019 21:00

I can easily see how you can spend that much if you eat out a lot, socialise, spend money on grooming etc and don’t watch what you are spending on groceries at all. However if you are more thoughtful and budget a little then you should manage and it is your responsibility to manage. I would be embarrassed to ask for parental help with your income.

OxanaVorontsova · 15/05/2019 21:08

We allocate a bit less than that per month for groceries, fuel, eating out, cinema etc. We have a nice life, we are lucky to earn good salaries. No way would i be asking parents or in laws to subsidise it!

manicmij · 15/05/2019 21:34

Where would DW go for handouts if your parents didnt have funds. DW needs to grow up, take responsibility and look at where the money is going. The amount left over after the bills are covered isn't excessive but isn't meagre either. D W is a trier - knows your parents could help and thinks they are obliged too. She is wrong.

Notnownotneverever · 15/05/2019 21:42

OP are you have be a fucking laugh.Angry Yes, you can survive off that very easily.

Notnownotneverever · 15/05/2019 21:43

Grrrr autocorrect. *having

missmouse101 · 15/05/2019 21:44

We have nothing like that amount. That's loads. Why on earth have you booked a holiday if you say you can't afford it? We haven't had one for three years. Holidays are a luxury. If you can afford a holiday, you're doing perfectly fine and do not need parental handouts.

MrFartPants · 15/05/2019 21:48

Love reading some of these threads. £1,400 a month sounds like a real struggle Grin

Greenfield19 · 15/05/2019 21:52

@missmouse101 some people really do see holidays as an essential, a right almost.

Alybob89 · 15/05/2019 22:00

I have 150 left over a month, after bills(phone,council,rent,internet, food, my son's activities (my son does gymnastics once a week and a drum lesson once a week) I don't drive (walk everywhere) no luxuries (unless you count internet and ten pounds a month Spotify, no TV subscriptions) I'm in awe how 350 spare a week isn't enough, I really am. My damn washer has broke down and it's going to take me 3/4 months to save for a new one

stayathomer · 15/05/2019 22:04

some people really do see holidays as an essential, a right almost

Some of our in laws live abroad and can't understand that 6 of us can't go over for a holiday. They keep saying that all we have to pay for are flights and spending money. Last year we had our first holiday in 9 years. Straight away they were saying 'Oh good you're taking holidays now' made me want to whack my head off the table!!!

Purpletigers · 15/05/2019 22:05

That’s plenty! For two people with the brains to earn an excellent salary you both sound rather dim . Your parents don’t like your wife because they see her for what she is . You love her so don’t see what they see . Take a step back and for goodness sake go and visit your parents and take your children with you . They’ll have distanced themselves form your family because of your wife , it happens a lot .

Fowles94 · 15/05/2019 22:08

Nothing stopping you paying £400 off your debt each month and still having more than enough for food and luxeries each month.

Snog · 15/05/2019 22:17

Seems like a lot of money.
£500 food
£200 clothing
£100 birthday and Xmas presents
£600 on ????? What else would you spend the rest on?

I think you would be having a laugh to ask your parents for money.

Raggerty54 · 15/05/2019 22:21

Wtf your wife is obviously spoilt because you have a lot of spending money there.

All of our expenses (including food) has to be covered by £40-60 a week. It’s a f*ig struggle. We’re a family of 3. Hearing the privileged act poor makes my blood boil.

Supermansmum · 15/05/2019 22:49

You can't book a holiday and then go asking your parents for financial help! That's just completely ridiculous. If you have debts, don't go on holiday!!