Is £350 per week enough to live on (family of 5)?

[DiscontinuedModelHusband]

DW and I are struggling a bit financially.
Over the last few months, we just seem to be treading water - no additional money saved, credit card/overdraft debt not reducing.

I've worked out that after all our normal bills, mortgage, credit cards, regular kids activities, savings etc we should have about £1400 per month to live on (for food, clothes, presents, eating out etc).

DW thinks this is unreasonable, and that I should ask my parents for help (they are fairly well off, but by no means wealthy).

My argument is that asking my parents is not really a sustainable solution in the long-term - I think we need to fix our spending habits.

She's now not speaking to me , because she thinks my pride is the problem.

There is a smidgen of truth to this - DW and my parents have a frosty relationship, meaning we barely see them (perhaps once per fortnight, for a meal - mainly DW's choice).

I feel uncomfortable asking them for financial help when they don't really get many normal grandparent benefits (proper time with GCs, they never get to holiday with us, GCs have never stayed at their house etc).

Our relationship is largely financial as it is (they help with school trips, uniform, have lent us money in the past), and I dislike this very much (I don't think my parents love it either, but have always been happy to help).

Should I just swallow my pride here?

Or should we try and sort things ourselves?
Is this even possible for £350 per month?

Just for a month, don't buy ANYTHING that isn't essential, and buy the cheapest versions of what IS essential. So, buy toilet rolls, but get them from Aldi/Lidl, buy shampoo/shower gel, but own brand, not posh stuff. Ditto cleaning and laundry stuff.

No new clothes, no alcohol, no meals out, no books, magazines/newspapers, household goods etc.

Then see how much less you've spent and use the money you saved to pay a chunk off one of your cards (the one that has the highest rate of interest). You'll then have an idea of how much you could cut back.

While you're sitting at home bored, look at all your outgoings and see what you could do without or reduce. Consider ditching tv packages, gym memberships and going sim only for phones. Look for cheaper utilities and broadband, use online comparison sites for insurance (home and motor). Have you got the best possible mortgage deal?

It's also worth checking out if you can reduce the cost of your debt by using balance transfers or even a consolidation loan. If considering a loan, you'll need to weigh up the total cost over the full term against the cost of leaving the debt on cards. Card borrowing is hard to calculate, I use the online calculator on Martyn Lewis's website. BUT if you go down the loan route, cut the cards up - so many people don't and end up paying the loan AND paying interest on new spending on cards.

Go through all your statements every month and see what's been spent and where. You need to know where the money is going if you're serious about cutting back.

I find it incomprehensible that a family of 4 are struggling to manage on £350 a week. Mind you, a colleague told me today that she spends £200 a month having her hair cut and coloured, £80 on nails and pedicures and £300 on a leased car - no wonder she's skint.

Actually, I'd love to see where all your money goes. It would make such a change from coaching financial management with people for whom £50 a week to spend would be a massive improvement.

It's the debts that are the problem. Paying them off will eat into what should be a good amount of money.

Your dw needs to learn to cut her cloth accordingly, rather than look for handouts from family.

You should amend your original post to include part about drop in income and your wife. I'm guessing shes used to a fancier lifestyle than your budget can provide. I'd say £150 for food - super generous amount. Then £100 to yourself and your wife each to spend as you each wish.

Do you have to pay travel expenses out of the £350. Is this short term while you pay of debt? Will you be saving as well?

I barely make £1400 a month! I think it’s more than enough!

OP why not pop your breakdowns on the Money Matters thread? They give loads of really useful advice on cutting debt down and making savings.

We have that approx amount for food per week, if you are used to buying organic food, decent wine and eating out (including buying your breakfast and lunch everyday for work) it won't go that far. Clearly you should very definitely be able to live on this but you may need some more specific help working your budgets out. Good luck.

Off topic OP but...

“DW and my parents have a frosty relationship”

Do YOU like your parents?

Holidays are fair enough but
Why aren’t the kids allowed to see them? Or have sleepovers?
Why don’t you take them over?

Are they mean? Do they have lax parenting which mean they endanger your children’s well being?

I'm embarassed for your wife, honestly.

Hi OP,
It's more than enough to manage without asking your parents which tbh isn't fair on them. I think you have bigger problems - why do the kids not see their grandparents? Lastly if your wife doesn't get on with them why is she happy to ask them to subsidise her lifestyle? Put all your costs down and see what you can cut. You'll be surprised at what comes out.

Honestly that as disposable income? Of course you can manage!!

Your wife needs a reality check and needs to grow up. How immature asking you to get your parents to give you money. Makes me feel ill. If she wants more money, she should do and bloody work for it. You have more than enough there if you budget and prioritize what you spend on. Shop around to get the bargains, don't eat out. Be a little frugal, but do not expect your parent in laws to bail you out.

Seems your parents aren’t good enough for you to spend quality time with, but you’re willing to sponge off them. Outrageous.

OP, beyond the budgetting issues, does your DW often exert this kind of guilt tripping and emotional
Blackmail?

Not speaking to you is unhealthy behaviour, and trying to manipulate you into tapping your parents.

I think you gave more than enough money to survive the month AND and to make debt repayments. You essentially have £1.5k to play around with, outside of all other living costs like bills. I mean, come on - perhaps you need to scale back your expenditures a bit, especially if you’re used to living an expensive lifestyle

You have*

Something doesn't add up here.

It is time you and your partner collect ALL receipts for 1-2 weeks and see where your money is REALLY going.

Either one or both of you is spending in ways you don't realise (multiple fancy coffees weekly, buying lunch at work and takeaways when you don't want to cook, wine/other alcohol, etc.) or there is a bigger problem (gambling?).

You are correct, though. This is plenty of money, and asking your parents for money is unsustainable.

Are you mad????more to the point is she?
Some people in my place of work earn this much in total. I think we Are really well off and by the sounds of it have similar spending to you. We go for a pizza once a mont a month and might get a 2nd takeawau pizza inthe minth too. I rarely buy clothes for us of our kuds.if our teenager want them he gets them in Primark and generally saves his pocket money. We have a n8ce house and car etc but our money goes on bills and I'm really careful other than that. I don't buy anything ready made, cook everuthing from scratch only shop in aldi etc. Your wife needs to realise how lucky she is.perhaps she should start volunteering with homeless or really needy people up see how lucky she is.

£350 per week is more than enough to live on as you very well know. Have a gf . Hth.

I don't even earn £350 a week, so it's more than achievable. Just look at where your money is going, and set a budget. Where does your money go at the moment? Where can you cut back? You mention in your op this money includes eating out. I see this as a luxury really and when things have been a bit tight we have gone without such luxuries. Look at your weekly shop, meal plan, set a budget and stick to it. There is no way I would ask my parents to lend us money, unless things were so bad we were risking losing our home.

Sounds like a good amount. I get 1600 a month in total and that has to pay my rent, all bills, food everything, I'm single and have 4 children. If I can do it...

Is this a piss take???

£350 per week after bills? You don't even know you're born if you think you need to ask your parents for financial help. Rein in your spending if you can't easily live on £350 a week. Some people only earn that much a week and manage to pay their bills and everything else with it. Your spending must be out of control. And with money like that, you really shouldn't need help with uniforms or anything else either. Asking your parents for money is ridiculous at your age.

it's enough to live on with careful budgeting

Oh another one of these threads. I don’t want to cut down any of my completely unnecessary luxuries - how ever will we survive on such a pittance?!

‘Careful budgeting’ is definitely not needed Jesus.

I'd maybe ask for help with debt.

Debt's a nightmare to deal with.