Vulnerable single mothers preyed on by men

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I was reading this article on the Times today about more support for new mothers, and underneath was this comment on the article-

"My experience working in child protection services showed me a worrying trend related to this. There's a breed of predatory male who preys on vulnerable, lone mothers. They entice them with the promise of material stability for their child, but become highly abusive, leaving damaged children in their wake, before moving on to the next victim. Improved support for vulnerable mothers would make them more resilient to this kind of exploitation."

It got me thinking about several posts on MN I have seen where single mums are giving up their benefits, tenancy etc to move in with a new partner (who often seems to move quickly, and be 'high earning'). I wondered if this was a 'thing' and if others had experienced it also.

Ffs grow up. Yes men are arseholes.yes they will take advantage. Why on earth do you feel you have to be in a couple, be with a man?
Take time to get to know yourself.
Sex isn't everything.
I honestly do not understand women who must always be with a man.

i think mens and womens low self esteems manifest in different ways; that attract/resonate.
Men with low self esteem attempt to control you and make you defend yrslf to them and they take too much and their egos are easily injured if you dont big them up constantly. Whereas women with damaged senses of self /low self-esteem aim to please, give to much, are too accommodating...
So the two meet. And their matching self esteems resonate.. it "works" because one controls and takes and the other appeases and gives.

Society conditions women to appease placate and give.

This was my relationship with my dc's father tho. Every choice since him as been better but still not found mr right 😂

I've never thought about this before but it's shocking!

You see I don't think it's true that men are arse holes. That's too much of a generalisation. There's no point being angry and bitter or telling other single parents to "grow up". I haven't dated a string of abusive men, I just don't like the men that come on to me, the ones that can't or won't take rejection. I want a partner, why shouldn't there be someone for me. I'm just trying to do it in a way that leads to a healthy relationship. I'm lucky in that I have had good relationships with good men before my abusive ex, so I know decent men exist. I just don't like the men that come sniffing around me.

I haven’t lived with a man in 10 years and I am not having sex

I got burnt very badly when I was vulnerable
Not all men are abusers but I don’t have the headspace for a relationship anymore - I’ve filled up my life with other things. But some men are

But when I didn’t have those other things, I was lonely. When you are on a low income and afraid - you haven’t even slept in a house by yourself before, your DC are away for 1 or 2 nights a week and you have lost all your friends due to your isolation then it is natural that you crave company. It’s actually easier to find a man on Tinder than it is to make real intimate friendships. Friendships take a lot of work and time whereas relationships start with sex. These are just how humans work

@TopBitchoftheWitches why continue posting and attempting to derail a conversation that many people are obviously finding interesting and helpful? You're not willing to entertain the idea that other people's experiences are different from your own so why not just bow out? The thread is clearly winding you up.

I didnt give a fck about being in a couple or not being single; I struck up a relationship with the Attempting Abuser because i genuinely liked the guy. He apparently only struck one up with me because he thought i was weak...oh dear!!

When I politely decline they tell me I have an attitude problem and I'll never find anyone else like them, never stopping to think that a lazy, long term unemployed man twenty years my senior with dubious personal hygiene and little in common with me might not be someone who would enhance my life anyway
Ah, this. My friends seem to be very interested in "setting me up" with someone. To the point that I now turn down invites to go out as a group, unless it is a ticketed / restricted entry event and I know everyone attending - there necessarily will be a friend of a neighbour's child step grandmother who is coincidentally recently single and just decided to come along. Sure, I am no princess myself, but at least am financially stable, shower every day, have all front teeth and do not have addiction issues. Why my friends seem to think that I must jump at anything remotely male is totally beyond my understanding.