Doctor just told me how skinny my Baby is and asked me how I'm feeding him, should I complain?

[Donnadon346]

I have just taken my DS who is 10 weeks old for his first set of immunisations, when I walked in the room the first thing the doctor said to me was 'he's very skinny how are you feeding him'
DS was 7lb 4oz born and is now well over 11lb so growing perfectly, I am breastfeeding and he had tongue tie when born so although he lost a little bit of weight to start he soon started putting on once tongue tie was cut.
DS is my fourth child and I am 38 so know he is healthy and am confident that BF is going well however had I been a bit younger or if this was my first child having that said to me by a medical professional would be really upsetting and potentially put someone off breastfeeding!
I am wondering if I should speak to the practice manager, as i know it made me feel really crap having her question his weight and if I am feeding him properly so don't want anyone else to be made to feel like this

I would rather a dr question every parent than a baby die of malnutrition.

^ This

Maybe I’m a bit sensitive so a bit skewed, because I did have a child as a first time mum with growth restriction and he just about scraped it into the red book and it was a huge worry for me. And a comment like that from a doctor would’ve defiantly made me panick further than I already was.

So perhaps not complain but do “comment” in a way to give feedback so it reaches that doctor..

Usually we would look at the child's pattern of weight gain. We look for a child to follow their personal normal growth pattern. Maybe the baby is on the 10th percentile for weight - but they've always been there. That's normal.

The general practice is to get excited only if the child is 95th percentile or has dropped by 2 or more percentile lines (e.g. 75th to

I would rather a dr question every parent than a baby die of malnutrition. They are doing their job. You would think everyone knew what babies need to eat but every now and again there's headline news that a baby was fed oat milk or cows milk with cereal at 7 weeks old.

Not really. Their job is to check the charts and use the scales. Not to base it on old wife’s tales and observations. Each baby is different and I would expect the doctor to know that.

And of course question marks are to be raised if the baby has problems with fitting their graph After the doctor checks. That’s what a red book is there for..

This is basically like telling a patient , “you look ill, are you sure you don’t have tuberculosis”, which is quite irresponsible coming from a doctor. There is a procedure to be followed...

Malnutrition is a serious worry for parents so don’t raise the alarm bells before you have evidence

For what it’s worth, I agree with you OP. She could have just asked to weigh the baby, or looked at his height chart in the book. There was no need to be so abrupt to you. It sounds like she was being almost accusatory to you, which would put any parent’s back up.

But childhood vaccinations (the first one is at 8 weeks iirc, not 10 weeks)

This is very pernickety, GP surgeries are massively stretched at the moment. My DS didn’t get his first set of jabs until almost 11 weeks as that was the earliest my surgery had any appointments.

My DD was on the 2nd percentile when she was born and has stayed on the 9th her whole life so far (she's 8 now).

I never worried. I think you'd have to be a bit anxious to worry and you probably need a little chat with the doctor about your own worries so they can put your mind at rest. Doctors are there to help, and it's a good thing they ask and make sure everything is ok.

This was the doctor talking to a child in the 50th percentile...

I wonder what she would’ve said to a parent of a child like mine?? On the 2nd percentile initially then 9th now ?

If I don’t have health visitors following procedures properly and telling me he is fine, I had slready spent the first few months crying and I would’ve gone into serious anxiety.

So no this isn’t just a comment!

This is very pernickety, GP surgeries are massively stretched at the moment

No wonder, if the GPs are doing all the routine vaccinations now!

I would have thought someone on their fourth child would have a thicker skin by now.
Honestly, who would be a GP if you get complaints when someone doesn't like the manner in which you pose a question.

Yes. I would complain about their approach. Thank them for their interest but suggest a gentler approach might be more appropriate.

Are you sure they were not joking like this because they knew you and knew you are an experienced mother?

I say this as a mother who produced very skinny children and have had similar abrupt - & worse - conversations but never with a GP. When I complained about family interfering it was my GP who stood by me and said my skinny children were absolutely within the realms of normal and to ignore such abuse.

My DS didn’t get his first set of jabs until almost 11 weeks as that was the earliest my surgery had any appointments.

And was it the doctor that did them, or a nurse?

Happened to me as a first time mum.

Dr “she is very skinny, how are you feeding her”
Me “breastfeeding”
Dr “how’s that going?”
Me “not great, she doesn’t latch particularly well”
Dr “did you know we have a BFing support nurse, she runs a group or I can ask her to come see you”
Me “that would be fantastic, thank you.”
Dr “I’ll pass her your details”

Exactly MindfulBear

It was all the health professionals keeping me level headed when strangers made useless comments about my feeding and my skinny child... because my child Was healthy based on the charts!.

HV said DS was like a tiny baby bird, given he was poorly at birth, then had feeding issues due to tongue tie probably wasn't ideal. However she then weighed him and and asked him where he was putting it all, he has been between the 25th and 50th lines since birth. BF babies tend to have a different body shape, leaner than FF so if they see a lot of FF babies they get used to a certain body type

Yabbers

Exactly how it could have gone and should go if there's a problem.

I would expect a Dr to keep their thoughts about the baby being skinny to themselves for long enough to check the weight chart and establish whether there was a problem.

If the child genuinely was underweight, it would then be appropriate to start asking questions about how the child is fed.

It's perfectly OK to think a baby looks skinny and make a mental note to check the charts but it isn't OK to verbalise it like that.

The OP is right. Comments like this can hold a lot more power coming from a GP and could have a significant negative effect on someone who was already feeling vulnerable for some reason.

The GP was in the room she didn't do the jabs though they were done by a nurse, I don't know why she was in there, I know it's not the norm but seems it was today

Why are you so worried for "first time anxious mums?" The doctor's comment was harmless, she is a medical professional and was concerned. As you said you're probably a bit hormonal. Complaining seems unreasonable.

“Why are you so worried for "first time anxious mums?" ”

Why aren’t you?

I struggled to breast feed and would have been upset at baby described as skinny by someone with the authority of a GP. I would have probably switched to bottle only instead of both which I was doing.
I agree with you OP.

Princesstigerlily

This is my concern and why I wondered if I should have a word with the practice manager and ask her to feedback to the GP that words like 'skinny' are upsetting to all mothers and especially BF mothers as it's very hard not to take that personally.

Most conversations probably go more like yabbers

I struggled to breast feed and would have been upset at baby described as skinny by someone with the authority of a GP. I would have probably switched to bottle only instead of both which I was doing

I'm confused. Is it because of the word skinny in particular?

Crikey - I think you are getting a hard time on here OP.

If the first thing the doctor said was he's very FAT how are you feeding him? I think you'd have got a whole lot of different responses.

YANBU.

Congrats on successful breastfeeding and a very healthy lad.