To ask DM to leave and struggle by myself.

[Februaryblooms]

I've been ordered to rest and get better after my health took a battering following a hospital stay. (I had sepsis after giving birth among other infections and now I'm home I keep picking up viral infections because my immune system is compromised), im also on beta blockers for panic attacks, am anemic and fatigued following a blood transfusion - basically I look and feel like total shit.

I feel as though I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and don't quite understand what's going on with my body or mind at the moment.

DP was great with the night feeds the first week whilst we were in hospital but now we're home he's spending the night time playing call of duty rather than being quick to tend to the baby, so I haven't had much if any chance to rest since I came home.

He goes back to work tomorrow so that's my day time support gone.

My DM has spent the past two days at my place to help out with my two DC (16 months and newborn) whilst I recover in bed, except every time my baby or toddler starts crying I can hear her moaning and complaining to herself. She is a moaner in general but this is driving me nuts because it's about my children who are just making their needs known.

"Oh come on"
"For god sake"
"What's the problem now"
"What do you neeeeeed"
"Oh for fuck sake"
"God almighty"

^ this on loop, every time they cry.

My poor toddler is stuck in his travel cot and shes wondering why hes whinging. My DP is comatose after being on call of duty all night.

I'm up after no sleep and getting stressed that I'm not strong enough to be doing everything. It's all a big mess.

WIBU to just ask her to leave? I don't know how I'll manage without her but no help has gotta be better than help that is stressing me out. I've found myself up doing everything in the night anyway even though I have 'help' and then they wonder why I'm not getting better

Everything crossed hoping that it’s not a PE, I’ve seen a few of your threads, you’ve had such a dreadful time you deserve to catch a break.

Thank you I appreciate the virtual hand holds

@makingmiracles I'm sorry your mum went through sepsis, it's bloody horrible isn't it. When you say she wasn't right for months afterwards, how did that manifest itself if you don't mind me asking? Like how was she feeling?

I've had an ECG which was fine and the doctor said that gives him some confidence that it's not a P.E so that's a huge bit of reassurance for now

You sound like you’ve had such a shitty time. My husband was amazing during my first mat leave but about as useful as a chocolate teapot on my second. His rationale was that he needed some downtime as it was his holiday and was stressed. I had no recovery time and I felt he had no consideration or care for looking after me. One day I snapped.

We have had lots of conversations about this and I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully get over it.i can see it will be the thing I bring up in arguments for years to come. You need to be honest about how you’re feeling otherwise the resentment will build. You have gone through so much and need looking after.