I am so sorry it didn't work for you this time. It is so hard when it keeps on failing. You feel like you're the failure when you're not. The procedure is the failure. And of course you have every right to react however you do, but please don't set a pattern of a bottle of wine and opiates. You need to be kinder to yourself than that.
The toughest thing about IVF is that each round is so fiddly and invasive and costly. Not like three shags equating to no luck conceiving. But that, biologically, it what it is equivalent to. So it doesn't mean you are useless and incapable of pregnancy. It's just three chances. Most people don't get pregnant within three tries.
I'm sorry your husband is away. Do you have some good support where you are? If not, are there some good online groups, including here, where you can get the consolation and understanding you need. You really need to be surrounded by people who have been in your position. No one else gets it. They just don't.
If it's any consolation, we got lucky on the fifth round. DH said this would be the final one - he couldn't face another.
It's really hard not to, but try to avoid black and white thinking. This doesn't mean you can't. Or you failed. Or you never will. It means it didn't work this time. That's all. I know it also doesn't mean it will work next time. But chances keep improving. When we started, the success rate was 12%. By the time we finished, five years later, it was 33%.
Give yourself time to grieve. Try to keep connected with your DH. And over time, let off steam more through park run than booze and pills. Please be nice to yourself.