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AIBU?

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Original poster

not to have opened the door?

133 replies

SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 20:03

I know I am! Bloody MN teaching me never to open the door BlushGrin

So my gas stopped working yesterday. Called the gas company who sent the gas man round. I fell in love

Seriously though, I broke up with my (abusive) DDs dad 18 months ago, and haven't been interested in anybody in that time. I'm only 25 and thought I never would be again tbh, it's been so long. I only really go to work or hang out with my DD and our friends. I sometimes say that Mr Right will have to break into my house if he wants to meet me Blush

There was so much chemistry, he did a couple of other (unrelated) little jobs for me. He was really handsome and funny and interesting. Kind with my DD whilst she was chatting away to him. Same age, similar interests. We just clicked. Stayed chatting for about half an hour after he'd finished. He definitely seemed really interested. Went to say something with his phone in his hand but then went. I was gutted but kind of hoped the gas people would have given him my number (in case he couldn't find the property or whatever) and he might text.

He knocked on the door at like 7.30 that night. When he came over, I looked an absolute state as there was no hot water so I had greasy hair and no make up etc. Then this time I still had no make up, wet hair and mismatched PJs. House was a mess as I do a tidy after bedtime. And also, I was just caught off guard and panicked so I just ran upstairs and hid BlushBlush

I don't even know his name! But know where he lives, where he grew up, former jobs etc.

Regret not answering the door so so much! My sister told me to try and find out his name from the company/ find him on Facebook but this seemed too stalkerish. But then when he knocked on my door, I thought I clearly wasn't being too crazy! So I tried Blush couldn't find him on Facebook. Had to phone the gas company for sometning else so I asked them under the guise of wanting to leave him a good review. They said they use a third party contractor so don't know who it was who came but would send his company my feedback.

That's it, isn't it? I'm going to have to forget about him. And get myself on tinder or something 😩

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 10/05/2019 21:20

They could absolutely find out who was at your address, phone again but say you’ve found a watch or something and you’d like him to come and collect it. They’d get hold of the external contractor and find out who came for you!

TheTrollFairy · 10/05/2019 21:20

I don’t think it’s creepy knocking at 7:30 (the cold callers round here come later).
If the guy had no other way of contacting her then how else was he supposed to give his number (if that’s what he wanted). Prior to mobile phones people just used to turn up unannounced Grin
Weird that he didn’t leave his number/a note if that’s the reason he was coming though

Binkyboi · 10/05/2019 21:21

You don’t sound like a loser at all, OP and I think people are being extremely negative. We have to give people a chance in life, sometimes they’ll be idiots and you can spot that fairly quickly. He probably wasn’t ballsy enough to give you his number straight away and then obviously rethought it and swung by on the off-chance. Perhaps he’ll pop his number through the door next time he’s passing! Smile

Cottonwoolmouth · 10/05/2019 21:23

I'm not alone! My 18 stone 6ft 3 dad is in a room literally 15 steps away, which came up in conversation, so he's well aware

Well that a was a bit of a drip feed wasn’t it

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:28

*I'm not alone! My 18 stone 6ft 3 dad is in a room literally 15 steps away, which came up in conversation, so he's well aware

Well that a was a bit of a drip feed wasn’t it*

Is it? I said less than half an hour after I wrote my OP, when somebody mentioned safety. Well I said he could handle himself. Didn't realise you needed his BMI..

OP posts:
Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:31

*Popping round to yours at 7.30 isn't com I f over at night. In my house, 7.30 is dinner time. It's no where near "late". And as an emergency gas engineer, he had probably finished his last job of the day and popped over to speak with you and get your number. Nothing nefarious about it. Now, of course there is always the chance that a man is dodgy whether you meet him in the pub, online or via a meet-cute like this. There is no way to ever be certain other than getting to know them and running for the hills if they display worrying signs.

If I were you, I would have answered the door. Especially if my dad was upstairs! You were safe. But you say you looked a bit messy so I can understand why you hid instead!! If he pops round again, just talk to him! See where it goes. Good luck!*

Yeah, this is where my head is tbh. I've been on MN long enough to predict I'd get some responses like I've had! But I thought I'd risk it in case somebody had some brilliant idea to find him.

But actually, I didn't think he could have put his number through the door. But then, I kind of shut the porch door and ran upstairs Blush so I acted like a dick and I dunno if the ball is in my court now really..

OP posts:
deadsexy · 10/05/2019 21:32

I personally hope he comes back (owd romantic here)

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:34

They could absolutely find out who was at your address, phone again but say you’ve found a watch or something and you’d like him to come and collect it. They’d get hold of the external contractor and find out who came for you!

😬 oh god, I might. They're supposed to call me tomorrow to check I've received my new gas card and my balance has transferred over (which it bloody hasn't, they've made a complete fuck up of it all tbh, I deserve to meet my Prince Charming all the stress this has caused me the past week Wink). Could just mention it then. A watch is more believable than tools isn't it?

OP posts:
threedeepatthebar · 10/05/2019 21:36

You need to follow this up!!

30 years ago before mobile phones and social media this is the only way he’d have been able to speak to you again.

diddl · 10/05/2019 21:40

He knows where you live-he can try again if he's interested.

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:40

But actually, I didn't think he could have put his number through the door. But then, I kind of shut the porch door and ran upstairs  so I acted like a dick and I dunno if the ball is in my court now really..

If he asked about this btw I was just going to say I'd just got out the bath saw it was him knocking and went upstairs to put a dressing gown on and then when I came down he was gone hence why I made an effort to get in contact with him. Not that I'm an anxious weirdo Grin

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 10/05/2019 21:42

It's really nice that you've got your Dad to help you out, its also nice that you find yourself feeling a bit flirty after all you have been through, that is a sign of returning confidence and that you are ready to move on with your life. I do note tho that a lot of people are saying proceed with caution

DrWhy · 10/05/2019 21:45

I’m with the lone PP who said 7.30 is not late! It’s certainly still light here, my toddler is just in the bath and he’s probably just finished his last job of the day. He probably thought it was unprofessional to give you his number when he was working or plucked up the courage after thinking about it in the afternoon. I’m afraid the most reasonable explanation for not putting his number through the door is that he saw you running away though - sorry! If I come up with any genius ideas on how to track him down i’ll post them. Not sure about a left watch, why would he have taken it off? Tools sounds more plausible to me!

TheInvestigator · 10/05/2019 21:47

That’s a good excuse about the dressing gown!! Go for it!

The worst that happens is that he Says he didn’t lose a watch so doesn’t come round. And you’re no worse off than you are now if that’s what happens. But if he does, then you might get a date!

DelusionalDog · 10/05/2019 21:50

break the boiler!! take a hammer to the damn thing and get him back in!

DelusionalDog · 10/05/2019 21:52

@theinvestigator The worst that happens is that he Says he didn’t lose a watch

would be worse if he says he did lose a watch and her dads then down a watch Grin

TheInvestigator · 10/05/2019 21:55

Once he’s in your house you would need to admit that watch scam to get him over! Or your dad may indeed be sacrificing a watch to this cause!

BackforGood · 10/05/2019 21:55

JustCallMeSliths
I don't think taking steps to keep yourself safe is sad either, but the OP wasn't in any danger here.

JaneEyre - OP isn't alone in the house, as she had said 4 times, before your post.

CottonWoolMouth OP has said 4 times before your post that her Dad was living there with her..... not mentioned his actual weight before, I grant you, but I think a chap's weight is hardly a drip feed.

I'm sure, having survived an abusive relationship, OP is not that naive.
I don't think there are many places in the country who think that 7.30 in the evening - particularly a light, Summer evening - is "coming round at night".

adaline · 10/05/2019 21:56

I don't see the need for all the cynicism!

If someone is going to attack OP, the time of day is completely irrelevant (not saying he will!). He already knows where she lives so if he's going to do something, he can do. Her inviting him in at 7.30pm (when it's still light outside!) isn't going to make the blindest bit of difference.

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:57

If I come up with any genius ideas on how to track him down i’ll post them. Not sure about a left watch, why would he have taken it off? Tools sounds more plausible to me!

It was actually two days ago now, thought I'd sound less weird still thinking about it if I was yesterday. Grin wouldn't it be weird if I didn't notice tools when I spoke to the gas people yesterday?

It will be the same woman calling as the girl I had on the phone was being ridiculous shouting about how she couldn't promise me a call back tomorrow (after their cock up which couldn't be sorted that day) as she was off due to PERSONAL ISSUES and when I asked if a colleague could call she said she'd ask but couldn't guarantee it, which I thought was madness (I work in customer services and if your company has fucked up, you tell one of your colleagues they need to call the customer, and they'll do it.. pretty standard). Especially as she kept shouting about her personal issues to me. Ended up saying don't worry, I'll call and wait on hold my whole lunch break then hanging up and she phoned me back saying she couldn't let me hang up unhappy and I needed to understand she was off with PERSONAL ISSUES. Was very bizarre. Anyway my dad said to speak to her manager so she got on the phone and gave me some extra credit for goodwill, said she'd text today regarding it and would call me tomorrow checking it had all been sorted. So it'll be the same person.

Said the watch thing to my sister and she said the same thing, suggested maybe a jumper? 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 21:58

break the boiler!! take a hammer to the damn thing and get him back in!

😂😂😂 can't say I'm not tempted

OP posts:
Pineapplewheelnuts · 10/05/2019 21:58

But what if you phone to say you found his watch and the reason he was knocking on your door was because he's lost his Rolex on one of his jobs and he was knocking at all the places he's been to to see if it was there?

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 22:00

*@theinvestigator The worst that happens is that he Says he didn’t lose a watch

would be worse if he says he did lose a watch and her dads then down a watch* 

This cracked me up too 😂😂 all's fair in love and war.

No, I would admit I did it to get in contact with him. With my dressing gown story, I can say that I saw him knocking and was gutted I missed him and was only way to get in contact. 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
cdtaylornats · 10/05/2019 22:01

Phone the Gas Company and say you would like to write a letter commending him but you forgot to get his name.

Original poster
SuckingOnDiesel · 10/05/2019 22:01

But what if you phone to say you found his watch and the reason he was knocking on your door was because he's lost his Rolex on one of his jobs and he was knocking at all the places he's been to to see if it was there?

Oh my god! That is the level of unluckiness my life is these days tbh. If it was going to happen to anybody, it'd be me 😂

OP posts:
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