To get the rage when my kids bash into my body repeatedly.

[bordellosboheme]

My youngest who is 3 is the worst offender. Often it involved whacking me in the knees or body slamming me on his way past, but often even the gentlest brushes past me start to give me the rage after a while. I enjoy being in work as I can guarantee I will not be bashed into for a whole day. AIBU?

No correlation here with sleep either.

Oh god, I literally want to cry with relief reading all of this. I thought it was just me, that I was a selfish, impatient, crap mum. The rage. The utter internal, enraging rage at not being left alone. Thank you all so much for helping me finally realise I’m not just shit. And that this feeling is normal!!!

I know certain things are accidental, but some other things, children do without realising, and won't learn unless they are consistently taught that their behaviour is unacceptable.

I, for one, am not suggesting yelling at a child. My DCs didn't miraculously stop this type of behaviour the first time they were told, but that didn't mean that I shrugged my shoulders and waited for them to grow out of it, or decided that battles involving me being physically hurt weren't worth having. I just kept at it until they got the message. In some cases, it took much longer than I would have hoped.

I'm really lousy at playing the martyr mum, always have been. I get loads wrong every day, but it's important to me that my children understand that I respect them, and expect them to respect me.

For those parents saying that their DCs only behave like this towards them, that's perhaps because when they've behaved like that towards others, the people on the receiving end of it had made it clear that it's not acceptable.

So so so annoying. I’m with you OP! Mine always look so hurt like little puppies if I get annoyed after the 50th time of asking them not to bump into me.

Maybe my childhood was completely different. I wouldn't have ever dared hurt my mum, or climbed on her or poked her or anything like that. Reading these has made me maybe realise how little "touching" there is/was
I've never hugged my mum or cuddled up to her

Aw that’s a bit sad. Sending a hug your way. We’re a huggy family.

Im really lousy at playing the martyr
^This

Elpha
None of us have passive little minions ,we really dont.
Nor do we shout or punish constantly.
Clearly what you are doing isnt working if you have to nag repeatedly at a 4 and 6 year old ?
Time warning,clear instruction and quick intervention .
Seriously who has time for nagging ?
Its such a negative atmosphere and so draining.

I think it’s not crowding or swarming is it?? It’s biting, hitting, kicking, slapping someone’s arse repeatedly. As I said the ldls are 7 and 2. I GET the lack of personal space. And I have one passive child and one whirlwind who is 2. But I really wouldn’t accept

• sitting on a sofa being repeatedly kicked by a 6 year old
• having my nipples being bitten to bloodiness and twisted by a toddler
• having my arse slapped by a five year old. Constantly.

That’s NOT swarming or crowding. Yes when I sit on a sofa they all want to sit ON me. That’s fine (sometimes, sigh...). But some of the behaviour above is not. Having your four year old in a shoe battle is NOT the same as being repeatedly kicked in the shin by a six year old. Some of these are a rite of passage and some of these are not. And those who can’t distinguish between the two are the ones I aimed my comments at.

I was at a friend’s place. She has a six year old who kept repeatedly slamming into my two year old and hurting him She told him to stop. He did and then carried on and kept looking at me to see if I would notice and smirking (and I removed my two year old and left not long after). And I thought, ‘he’s six. He knows he’s hurting a MUCH smaller child. Stop making excuses for that behaviour’ even though I didn’t say it. This boy also has a toddler sister exactly the same age as my son and he hurts her constantly. Mum is all of the ‘ah siblings. I pick my battles’ sort. I just don’t think it’s okay.

My kids fight. A lot and have roughly the same gap. And the two year old is a wind up merchant. And I try not to intervene but my 7 year old would never ever ever hurt his baby brother and I would intervene if he did. Forcefully. But when they are 10 and 15 I would be more ‘meh’ about it.

That’s what ‘pick your battles’ means. It means of the many daily annoyances you let some pass (I tend to let the shoe, coat, sock thing pass within a reasonable time frame, or the toddler splashing water out of the bath, or the 7 year old not making his bed or walking his muddy shoes through the house despite my telling him!). Those I might nag a little about but on the whole I would eye roll and let it go. But if my 7 year old poured bath water all over the bathroom I would treat it as being different from the two year old doing it. That’s also part of picking your battles. So a toddler being clumsy is NOT the same as a six year old sitting next to you and kicking you. Brushing your teeth. Not negotiable. Hitting, kicking, pinching. Not negotiable. Running away from me as I chase him with some pants. That’s toddler life for you. Would I expect the same from my 7 year old??? No!

Picking your battles doesn’t mean you can just ignore some stuff in its name!!!!!

Oh yes a 2 year old, the digs in the side, tummy!
She also is a stroker, loves skin on skin, lifts your shirt up (my Mum included) whenever she likes and strokes your tummy and back!
Pregnant at the moment the wriggling and elbow in the tummy is great!!! Not to mention if she gets into bed with us, the stroking of the hair.

My 10year old on the other hand, he's too busy doing anything else to give cuddles so have to pester him for them!