To get the rage when my kids bash into my body repeatedly.

[bordellosboheme]

My youngest who is 3 is the worst offender. Often it involved whacking me in the knees or body slamming me on his way past, but often even the gentlest brushes past me start to give me the rage after a while. I enjoy being in work as I can guarantee I will not be bashed into for a whole day. AIBU?

DS1 went through a phase of slapping me really hard on the arse EVERY TIME he walked past. When increasingly sharp, ‘Stop it. STOP IT. STOP. IT.’ didn’t work I completely lost my shit and screamed in his face

What the fuck?

Aaaah HELLO my people. Sick sick sick of 2 year old DS bashing me, headbutting, climbing, standing on top of my foot and sliding his whole weight down it (like a Chinese burn), grabbing a single finger and twisting it hard, running at full speed into my legs but only when I am holding a hot drink, so I scald myself while shielding him from it... I swear DH thinks I'm a monster, but DS never does it to him, it's just constantly me! I was going to stay at home longer but we have childcare now and I am going back to work just to have some time out from being bashed.

To all those parents who "ask" their children to stop - tell them, don't ask!

It's so annoying, but take control! For children to still be doing this kind of thing at 9, when it's clearly driving you mad is ridiculous, and they're still doing it because you're passively waiting for them to stop, or grow out of it.

If you don't want them in your bed, or if they can't be in your bed without respecting boundaries, then don't let them in your bed!

I find it baffling that anyone one would allow their DC to do this.
My DD would pinch the skin on my chest while feeding -hurt and left marks.

Immediately off the boob and a sharp NO!
I held her hand to stop her -why would you allow them to pinch your nipples
Like wise climbing ,pulling or hanging off me.
Nope !

@sockworkshop - DS is pulled off and told ”no climbing” each and every time. He is put in his highchair to calm down. Ditto bashing of any kind. He still hasn't stopped. I'm glad (and a bit jealous) that a sharp ”no” and holding her hands away worked for you, but it's done nothing for me.

Mine always seem to knock the top corner of my glasses which then bash me in the nose. They can't seem to sit still when they're near me and it drives me BATTY.
They're always standing on my feet or using an elbow in some soft part of my body (usually my boobs!) to lever themselves around.

She kept trying vinegar I just didnt let her pinch me.
Just keep stopping him-he may continue but you dont have to put up with it.
Would you allow him to head butt another child repeatedly or bite or pinch ?
I suspect not ...

Yes! With standing on my toes. I swear they do it so often it must be on purpose!

@sockworkshop yes shall just keep on with the grind... He has never actually pinched or tried to hurt another child, strangely. He's quite a meek soul when it comes to anyone but me...

Entirely up to you vinegar

I did read something about why women allow this -put themselves at the bottom of the family pile .

Oh, DD2 standing on the top of my bare foot with her bare foot. Our skin grips together and somehow hurts more than if she does it wearing shoes 😡
DD1 is nearly 7 now and has mostly grasped the fact that if she flails around it does hurt someone me. So she tries not to and apologises instantly if she comes into contact with me, whether it hurts or not. DD2... she's a work in progress. Not helped by the fact that's she's quite little for her age, so if she wants to get up onto my lap she needs to use elbow and toe holds to climb up.
They aren't allowed to bash or whatever on purpose but they seriously don't realise that they're doing it until I'm already hurt.
And they do it to DH too.

I can't believe this is a "thing".

Oh my Lord, I get white hot rage when my 4 year old elbows me in the boob (when trying to get comfy), especially when I'm due on & they're very tender. I made him cry when I yelped & made him jump once.

@sockworkshop I think you misunderstood - I meant I just keep up with the ”no” and gentle restraint/highchair routine and maybe it'll sink in. He's too young to understand anything but an immediate consequence, so it's not as if I can do anything else.

Ah ok vinegar
The ... made me think you meant just putting up with it.

Yep DD was a baby and had no idea but I wouldnt allow her to scratch me.

We're at the start of investigating SN with my 8yo for some type of ADD/ dyspraxia/ ASD type condition/s. He's a very sensory child, and one of his things is that he struggles to get pressure right. He'll fly out of school and crash into me; I naturally brace. When he gives or recieves hugs, he favours the rib bursting variety, especially if he's stressed. He manages to trample my feet, he's size 10 and I'm size 2 which is quite an acomplishment! His sense of personal distance is quite overpowering. He is not and never has been a "just say no" child. We have gone through years of reminding him daily that you have to sit on a chair, line your plate up and pick up your cutlery to eat. We went through years of daily wrestling trousers on to him before concluding that he hadn't had hypothermia from wearing shorts in sub-zero temperatues, and that it wasn't worth making life a misery for all concerned day in, day out.

He's also another one with a cannonball head. So often at nursery or the first years at school, I'd get a bumped head form and the staff would appologise for being unable to pin him down for an ice pack whereas the other child had taken a heavy blow. DS used to call his head a wrecking ball as he bounced off unscathed.

My younger one (6) is a climber and has to be reminded that I am not a climbing frame. He is better at processing instructions but does forget with time and need reminding again. He's very tactile and huggy, but gets the pressure right and backs off better when asked. If DH is away, he still likes to creep in and co-sleep, but he's a nice cuddle and doesn't thrash around like DS1 used to.

What is cute, is when they snuggle up together.

I have a Velcro toddler with elbows that are are sharp as knitting needles. I am not blessed in the boob area but BY CHRIST, his elbows hurt! Doesn't help that he's very 'elbow-y' in the sense that whenever he gets up or moves, he jams the nearest needle into my knee / boob / belly to leverage himself up

I get all touched out too, by about 5pm and then DH can't understand why I don't want a hug or him lolloping about all over me come 9pm. All I actually want is some goddamn personal space!

I miss personal space and not having someone constantly up my bum asking me what I'm doing or following me while I'm trying to do the housework. My dd is 3 and I find it wearing by the end of the day,the constant need to touch mummy or sit on mummy or elbow mummy in the boobs while wriggling. I will miss it eventually when she grows up.

Oh god, the sliding off your lap. The endless sliding. And you have to tense your legs to get them not to fall off. And when they want a carry but won't play ball by putting their arms around your neck, they prefer to lean out as far as possible so that you end up with triceps like an Olympic fucking rower. Thanks for reminding me that although they were cute, I really do not miss the toddler days at all.

In what universe would you not tell a child to stop hurting someone? 'We don't hurt people in this house, even by accident.'

Rinse and repeat until it gets better. DC nowadays get too big too young to get away with it beyond early toddlerhood.

I only wish we could do this to slobadobs who streetslam you when out and about - I've never been smacked by anyone less than 12 stone, I note. It really hurts.

For this se asking why I don’t stop the nipple pinching I’ll tell you I tried no, I tried no even though my life was so stressful, I tried no even though she would rake and claw at me screaming and screaming, I stopped when she bit me twice so hard my nipples bled....it’s not every time she does it (the twisting) and relatively soon it will be over.

I fight so many things that have longer consequences all day and I’m tired yes it’s like 30 min of mini torture sometimes but it too will pass...I just wanted to let off some steam.

@toomuchtooold Oh my gosh, I forgot about that! As soon as I need the loo the baby's crawling in ready to play the part of the Andrex puppy with the loo roll, the toddler has especially collected his cars to drive along the radiator and the back of the loo, the bold cat comes to sit on the shelf behind me and the shy cat comes and sits in the doorway.

I've tried telling the baby no when they pinch/bite me while feeding. I immediately stop the feed as well, he just laughs at me. Nothing works! He's always bitten when he gets tired and nothing on Earth will stop him.

Every time I get elbowed/hair pulled/pinched/headbutted I tell them no and that it hurts. They aren't doing it deliberately so are unable to control it.

Exactly nothing would stop the twisting! Although did stop some biting by pushing the boob over her nose or holding her nose to get her to let go but when I tried to stop the twisting....Oh my there was so much blood from the bite it’s just not worth loosing a nipple in that toothy mouth.

Although I think she grew out of it (the biting) than I managed to stop her I remember with horror holding her nose to get her to let go and her smiling with gritted teeth biting the damned thing.

OMG it's not me that's abnormal! I've found my people I am so touched out. I just want to be left alone for five fucking minutes. I want to be able to drink my tea in a morning without being climbed on and risk you scalding yourself on my tea when you spill it. Ffs stop digging your feet into my legs in order to push yourself up to get comfy. Keep your elbows out of my anywhere. You can have a breastfeed at bedtime but ffs keep still! No, I don't want you to keep me company in the toilet, I want to piss in peace. No, you can't sit on my knees while I eat my dinner. Just hold my bloody hand and stop twisting it about when we are walking. Stop treading on my feet. I am not a bloody climbing frame. You can sit next to me and snuggle up but you cannot sit on top of me whilst I am drinking a hot drink, or eating. Get on your own side of the bed, you're pushing me out (it's a king size bed 🙄). All this is my 4 yo. Dd1 is 12 and I'm sure she's ADD/ASD/dyspraxic. She has no concept of personal space and I thank god I no longer walk her to school as she would always squash herself between me and dd2. She'd be brushing against me for the whole bloody mile and a bit. It was tempting to Chuck her in the village pond as we passed. I love their hugs and the lo is especially snuggly but they drive me demented. I am grumpy and in pain when I first get up and need tea and painkillers before I have the ability to interact with anyone with any patience. I adore them all really!