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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get the rage when my kids bash into my body repeatedly.

160 replies

bordellosboheme · 10/05/2019 19:05

My youngest who is 3 is the worst offender. Often it involved whacking me in the knees or body slamming me on his way past, but often even the gentlest brushes past me start to give me the rage after a while. I enjoy being in work as I can guarantee I will not be bashed into for a whole day. AIBU?

OP posts:
RainbowWaffles · 10/05/2019 20:51

My pet hate is standing millimeters away from my legs or feet rendering it impossible to walk around without kicking them over. All... the... time.

Original poster
bordellosboheme · 10/05/2019 20:57

Ah yes rainbow, or going painfully slowly down the stairs in front of you when youre carrying something heavy, you have to lock your knees for balance and can't frigging get past.

Also I have quite ample post kids boobs. A couple of times they have literally sat on a nipple whilst getting into bed...... Ouch!???

OP posts:
JustCallMeSliths · 10/05/2019 21:00

Or being stalked.

You go to the toilet, turn to shut the door and they are there. So you just let them in while you have a wee. Then you get up to wash your hands and have to ask them to move because they are in the way.

You go to sit on the 4 person sofa and they sit down right. next. to. you. You move over a little, so they do too. You give up. They not so gradually start leaning on you. You no longer have the will to stop them. Then they absent mindedly start trying to put their foot in your slipper. You are currently wearing said slipper.

You stand up (leaving the slipper behind). The cat sees you and thinks it's time for food so now she starts wrapping herself around your legs. You trip up over the cat all the way to the kitchen. You turn around to get the cat food and bump into the child who silently followed you into the kitchen. The child is wearing one of your slippers. Not the one they were trying to put their foot into. They don't know where that one is.

2 days later and the slipper is still missing. My feet are cold.

JustCallMeSliths · 10/05/2019 21:01

@bordellosboheme I'm not even that well endowed and still have to clutch my chest while they are getting into bed with us! I've had my nipples squished too many times!

MagicKeysToAsda · 10/05/2019 21:34

Yes, yes, yes, God THIS!!!! DD has additional needs affecting her balance, and sensory skills, so she can't judge how hard she's pushing/pulling. She's 8 and strong and it bloody hurts when she "hugs" or crashes through me instead of past me. Not her fault, not her fault, not her fault (and the OT is helping) but bloody OWWW.

Nonononon · 10/05/2019 22:00

My 12 month old is a slapper when she's excited. Grin

But 16!??? 😫

It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way though.

CheshireChat · 10/05/2019 22:23

My kid stepped on my boob/ nipple when I was led on the floor on the side Shock!

He's also accidentally yanked a piercing out whilst stroking my hair.

Bust my lip twice as a baby...

However, I am quite strict about being careful as he's tall for his age and strong so it needs to become second nature.
He's also not allowed to follow me in the bathroom for no reason.

My current pet peeve is that he always sits on my lap on the couch and then the cat joins in as well!

likeafishneedsabike · 10/05/2019 22:23

Mine are older now so not so much regular battering. When they were little I was always covered in bruises from errant knees and elbows. The worst was swimming: they used to kick the fuck out of me under the water Hmm

blackteasplease · 10/05/2019 22:24

Really don't like it either!

MumUnderTheMoon · 10/05/2019 22:28

YANBU my dd has issues with spacial awareness issues and walks into or onto me about half a dozen times a day she's almost 12 it's infuriating.

GermanChildrenAreKinder · 10/05/2019 22:29

I felt so extra touched out/ personal space invaded by my two (aged 3 and 1) this morning. They followed me in to the bedroom and while I was drying my hair both managed to be under me, over me, climbing on me, competing to be closest to me, at my elbow so that any move my arm meant risked giving them a black eye....

I thought to myself, this must be what it's like to be dead and having my corpse gnawed at by rats. Like I say, it was a particularly bad moment.

30not13 · 10/05/2019 22:31

Dd always manages to elbow me in the boobs Angry yambu!

Tanith · 10/05/2019 22:32

Agree with OneInAMillionYou: you do not have to put up with this!
Wouldn't you discipline if they hurt anyone else?

Justkeeprollingalong · 10/05/2019 22:34

How lucky was I? Soft, cuddly kids. Sorry.

whatwouldnigellado · 10/05/2019 22:41

Oh thank god! I've been in tears to DH this week as I've been finding DS so hard to deal with because of the touching/slapping/hair pulling/using my throat to lever himself up with on his elbows. Oh god it's rage inducing! Xx

DontVisitMe · 10/05/2019 22:41

Reading this thread is like being on another planet. Sorry, I wouldn't tolerate any of this. Never heard if the like!

I have fibro too and if a child so much as poked me too hard I'd be in tears with pain. Bizarre.

WillLokireturn · 11/05/2019 05:31

@JustCallMeSliths.

This ^^ 😂😂😂

Trebla · 11/05/2019 05:39

I have a heightened fight response due to a traumatic childhood. The rage comes quickly to me and I've had to very quickly quash the retaliatory impulse on many an occasion. I've found mindfulness works for me and redirection and humor works for them.

Trebla · 11/05/2019 05:42

Also really curious at the whole "mine would never do this as I'd never tolerate it" brigade.

Do you seriously think there are a whole raft of parents out there who just let their kids bash the shit out of them?

What is it that you do that is so effective in curtailing this behaviour or could it be that children, particularly young ones express themselves differently. My oldest was a nightmare. My youngest wouldn't say boo to a goose. Different kids, do different things.

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/05/2019 06:06

I have a 3 months old who I adore - she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen BUT when she grabs a fist full of hair and won’t let go it internally gives me the rage!

youarenotkiddingme · 11/05/2019 06:08

Treb my thoughts exactly! Some people just have a lack of humour and can't see when a thread is a lighthearted rant space!

Actually I think like you I'm worried there's actually people out there who think there's a whole load of parents allowing their toddlers to beat the crap out of them Grin

OrdinaryGirl · 11/05/2019 06:12

@JustCallMeSliths Ah your comment was like a melancholy poem translated from the original Finnish, and I am still giggling. 'My feet are cold'. 😄

I too have found my people. Thank you for the post, OP. DTwin2 (age 3) has the biggest, hardest head. I get mystified calls from nursery saying he had an accident and bumped it, but didn't cry and there are no marks. When he bumps heads with other children, they cry, and it leaves a mark on them, but his rock-like dome is unblemished.

He likes to run at me joyfully at full tilt and his head always hits my pubic bone. it is a very specific kind of agony. If I try to reach out and catch him by the shoulders, it just slows his body but not his head, and that continues to hit me like a crash test dummy. Commands, entreaties, threats, all have bounced off. And it is hard to go to war on behaviour that is essentially just happiness at seeing me, when there is so much with a 3 year old that DOES need going to war on. What to do?

I am very intrigued at how Dontvisit me would 'not tolerate' this... short of using some kind of super-soaker....

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 11/05/2019 06:21

I thought it was just me ! My 5 year old is so affectionate and wants to sit next to me , hug me , touch me all the time but he is so clumsy ! I feel like a bitch when sometimes I have to say ' personal space '!
The unintentional kicking on the sofa. At one point my shins were black and blue.
He's so sensitive, if I say ouch! Or one of his accidental head buts brings tears to my eyes, he gets upset. He really doesn't mean it .
In 10 years time I'll be on here lamenting that my 15 year old won't hug me !

legalseagull · 11/05/2019 06:24

I have a toddler and a newborn and a fucking dog that will not get off me. Constantly following me round the house like ducklings and leaning/climbing on me. I'm all touched out and want a break. Especially from the dog who needs to give me some bloody space! I love him but my god...

stillworkingitout · 11/05/2019 06:27

Currently lay in bed with one child (my gentle one) sprawled across the bed, legs resting on mine. Not so bad, he’s still. My older child is on my other side, stroking my hair with his other hand around my head in some kind of headlock. And now his foot has just made its way to my liver and he’s used it to get up.

For those of you saying it’s a discipline thing, it’s not so simple. For the most part it’s not a conscious thing on their part, and the continual boundary setting is exhausting. I do discipline them, but for the most part it seems to be just very vigorous affection with not much attention to arms and legs. It gives me the absolute rage at times and then I tend to just walk off and do something else.

Thanks OP - glad it’s not just me that struggles with this