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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get the rage when my kids bash into my body repeatedly.

160 replies

bordellosboheme · 10/05/2019 19:05

My youngest who is 3 is the worst offender. Often it involved whacking me in the knees or body slamming me on his way past, but often even the gentlest brushes past me start to give me the rage after a while. I enjoy being in work as I can guarantee I will not be bashed into for a whole day. AIBU?

OP posts:
WoahMySocksAreOnFire · 10/05/2019 19:32

let the kids smother their nana*

Zakana · 10/05/2019 19:38

I had to stop wearing pierced earrings when my daughter was born as her way of going to sleep was bottle and playing with my earlobes! And it wasn’t just mine, it was whoever was giving her her bottle. Haven’t had pierced ears for 16 years now!

Inmyvestandpants · 10/05/2019 19:57

This thread has taken me back a few years, to a dark place. My first mother's day as a Mum of two, when DH asked what I wanted to do as a treat, I said "I just want to be left alone, and spend a day with nobody on me".

My DS went through a phase of leaping excitedly at me, so if I was bending down to speak to him/pick him up, he'd suddenly leap, and would end up headbutting me in the face. It was agony. He grew out of it eventually, then my DD started doing it. She's just about got the message she has to stop - she's 9 now.

Also, the DS had a phase of getting into bed with me, then either kick me hard as he wiggled his legs in glee, or push his feet against my legs in order to lever himself up the mattress a bit more. Many a morning, I would just get out of bed when he arrived, rather than hope for a snuggle and end up with bruised shins.

youarenotkiddingme · 10/05/2019 20:03

YANBU.

I don't mind someone touching me I'd say next to me and still.

But ohhhhhh - the bashing. The constant touch space touch space.

I thought I was odd that it gave me the rage.

But I've found my people Grin

Dinosforall · 10/05/2019 20:15

Oh god yes. Baby doing endless push ups on my boobs, 3yo leaning on his elbow on my chest when we sit next to each other. I sometimes want to scream GIVE ME SOME DAMN SPACE

Back to work on Monday, definitely won't miss that aspect of it!

Planetian · 10/05/2019 20:17

I thought I was odd that it gave me the rage

Me too! Delighted I’m not the only monster who recoils in rage from her children’s touch Grin

2tired2bewitty · 10/05/2019 20:20

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread, I thought it was only me!

I love them all dearly but why do they all have to be so close all the time. DS has a particular magnetic attraction for grabbing my legs while I’m cooking which is both irritating and highly dangerous Shock

sar302 · 10/05/2019 20:21

Oh god. Another one - when we suddenly go from him lying on my chest, to him digging his elbow / fist into my sternum to push himself up.

On occasion he's nearly ended up being flung off. Not maliciously! Just the self preservation kicks in!

Original poster
bordellosboheme · 10/05/2019 20:23

I've found my people too. I didn't know that a cold sweat was an actual physical thing until a certain time of night when my body just can't take any more and I actually get so stressed at being kicked or trampled past that my body literally does a cold sweat. It is the oddest feeling

OP posts:
Nonononon · 10/05/2019 20:25

I started a thread about this a while back.
I think its titled "when do DC stop climbing all over you??" Or something.
Dd quite happily jumps/climbs all over me all fucking day, she's 4.5 now and it really grates. She's not small either so it HURTS
and she's got such boney elbows 😫
I ask her to stop but she's doesn't care 😒

My thread never did get a response.. does anyone know when it does actually end!??

MaximusHeadroom · 10/05/2019 20:27

I also hate the inequality of the torture. We have a big double bed and in the morning pur 3 dcs come in with us. I am there fending of pokes, prods and pinches from the 3 of them as they fight to have a prime spot sitting on me whilst DH sleeps on or reads on his iPad. Totally unfair Confused

nilcarborundum · 10/05/2019 20:29

My did, then aged 3, once leaned over me with a big smile on her face .... then bit me hard on the cheek, total shock!

Goldenphoenix · 10/05/2019 20:29

My two are always elbowing my boobs or using my boob to push themselves upright. Gives me the rage and hurts so much!

NightIbble · 10/05/2019 20:29

My DS19 months has to be holding my hair to go to sleep! At least he has stopped pulling it out giving me an unintentional fringe.
Also obsessed with climbing on my head I think he spent about 45 minutes yesterday just on my head as I sat on the sofa. I gave up and had a nap as it was dark and warm and I knew where he was!

SwimmingKaren · 10/05/2019 20:30

I hate being hurt carelessly even if it is an accident, makes me really cross too. Grin

CigarsofthePharoahs · 10/05/2019 20:31

Now I do love cuddles, I really do.
But ds1 in particular can't just cuddle. Can't sit still. Constantly twitching and fidgeting. When he has to sit next to me and do his reading homework I'm constantly being thwacked by one bit of him or another. He also likes to lean all his weight on me and crush me.
Ds2 has always been clingy. Ever since newborn. He now likes to do a flying leap cuddle and it hurts.
I do love them both and I love cuddles. I just wish they were gentle and didn't leave me feeling like I've been in a fight.

WillLokireturn · 10/05/2019 20:32

At 16. That's when it ends.
HTH. (mother of two teenagers and one pre teen).
However the suddenly unneccessarily shouting or shrieking right next to your ear, so you jump out of your skin and can barely hear for 20 mins afterwards from that ear, well that hasn't ended yet.

WillLokireturn · 10/05/2019 20:33

Sorry, my post was answer to ... does anyone know when it does actually end!??

droppinglikeflies · 10/05/2019 20:40

I very nearly put a post on here the other day about how my kids must tread on my feet about 100 times a day. It REALLY gives me the rage. Especially when I’ve got bare feet or flip flops on.
And yes to the wedging their elbows in your ribs or boobs when getting up from the sofa or my bed. Makes me so mad!

PhoenixBuchanan · 10/05/2019 20:41

The leaning into you when they want to have a cuddle - ARGH. I cannot stand the way my 3 yo shifts about and fidgets and presses her bony bits into me as hard as possible. A cuddle is supposed to be a nice thing FFS!

EmmaJR1 · 10/05/2019 20:42

Ahhh the relief of knowing I'm not alone and I'm not evil for wanting my DC to sometimes GO AWAY!

My 2 yo has gone through stages of biting, scratching, kicking and now head butting. Seriously he head butts any part of my body just to see what happens.

My 12 month old is a slapper when she's excited.

And both them and the dog have to have me insight and preferably within touching distance to be happy, sometimes I'm just a climbing frame to more exciting things!

By the end of the day I just want to be alone! Poor dh!

EmmaJR1 · 10/05/2019 20:43

11 month old - I'm not a complete moron I know 12 months = 1 year!

OneInAMillionYou · 10/05/2019 20:45

Whatever method of discipline or training you use on your children for other things, use it for this!
I will absolutely not tolerate physical harm from my children, nobody should,
It isn't sweet, it isn't cute, it doesn't mean they love you more, it just means you've given up agency over your own body and won't correct their behaviour.
Tell them no. Keep telling them. Punish them if necessary for hurting you. They will learn this, just as they learn everything else, like not running across the road. The method will change, has to be age appropriate but just don't let them do it.
When will it stop? When they poke a pencil in your eye and accidentally blind you?

Been there, done it, worn the t shirt and I am so sorry for those of you suffering unnecessarily.

youarenotkiddingme · 10/05/2019 20:45

And ohhhhhh - the elbow in the run, boob, groin and the get up to move for the millionth time that second Angry

I'm actually beginning to wonder if MH autistic sons factory defensiveness is part of his asd or some genetic flaw he's got from me BlushGrin

Monkeyssplit · 10/05/2019 20:48

I'm laughing because I get the exact same rage. My DC1 never did it. DC2 does it sometimes. DC3 spends her days just banging into me repeatedly and clamouring all over me. I start off each day fine with it and can't bear it by bedtime.

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