To ask for help about MIL.

[SciFiScream]

I love my MIL. She's terminally ill. Secondary cancer in four places. We're managing this as best we can with palliative care and the support of a local hospice.

The big problem is her legs, the swelling - one leg in particular she can hardly move.

We have a wheelchair for taking her out but in her home (she's alone) she can barely move due to this bloody leg.

She can't lift her leg, or turn her leg. She's scared of falling.

We're having real problems finding slippers that she can get on and she can move in.

Her feet are so swollen too, she's so incapacitated that she struggles putting them on.

The slippers need to be easy to put on, easy to move in, the sole can't be too thick (as she can't lift her leg). Style is still a bit important too

Help suggest some slippers??? Other solutions??

She got so frustrated today she was crying and my heart broke.

Can she come stay with someone or can you stay with her to help her move more?
You are so lovely to care about her like this.
What's the plan for her care the palliative care?
There's a website that sells mobility bits for disabled and sick people let me try find it and come back with a link,

Also what about those slippers that you're supposed to slide on and leave on the floor for both feet, could she wear one of those on her swollen foot? Xx

https://www.heat-treats.co.uk/tipped-fleece-unicorn-novelty-3d-giant-double-tv-slippers/?gclid=CjwKCAjwwtTmBRBqEiwA-b6c6SXTNO9cdsp6bSPhoWmFGokJeqU77x6lxWQR9QrzAJh5mCl9Y4JqxoCO2QQAvDD_BwE

Double slipper type thing (meant to be used by 2 feet)

And then

Website with bits on to help
directmobility.co.uk/common-equipment-used-following-elective-surgery/

Has her foot been checked for infection?

Xxx

Its fluid retention, has she been prescribed Metolazone?

in the interim, slipper socks ?

Without trying to be insensitive - what is her prognosis?
Would it be a good idea to get her into full time palliative care?
The hospice my sister was in was full-time and they were so so good.
We couldn't have coped without them.

She lives in a retirement flat. So all on one level, there's a lift. The sockets are half way up the wall. There's a member of staff in the retirement flat during working hours and a care line after those hours.
It's perfectly sized for MIL but only one bedroom.

I couldn't stay.

Our house only has an upstairs toilet. So she couldn't stay with us.

The decline in her mobility is terrifying.

It's heartbreaking you have my full sympathy

What about crocs? You can get fur lined ones. They're comfy. Quite wide
Come in lots of colours and hopefully won't be slippy on the floor x

I can't help with the slippers, but what a kind DIL she has! It's an awful situation but she's very lucky to have a loving family around her

We don't have a prognosis. We asked but the specialist couldn't say. They said it's likely that there will be a crisis and that will lead to her death.

We've got a lot of those mobility aids (toilet seat, long gripper, leg lifter thingy, the tray on wheels for dinner, a zimmer thing with wheels and a special seat that stands her up and sits her down.)

She's sleeping in this seat now so is spending most of her lift in it.

She can shuffle to the toilet but sometimes doesn't make it in time.

I don't know about meds. She's on so many different things.

She's sleeping in this seat now so is spending most of her lift in it.

That really won’t help with the swelling. She needs to lie with her legs elevated at night to stop the fluid pooling in her legs. Could a carer not come in at night and help her into bed? Would a move to a nursing home be more comfortable for her so she isn’t suffering so much?

So, she was on water tablets but had to be taken off them as they were causing her to go to the toilet a lot and she couldn't get there in time so the GP decided it was too dangerous.

Her chair helps her to lift her legs so the elevation is the main way of dealing with the fluid retention. It is working and for the first time in a while she had feeling in her bad leg (a tingle).

It's this one bloody leg.

It's ok the chair is a special one. The hospice provided it. It's worth about £800. It's got a special button, helps her stand up, sit down, elevates her leg and also lies flat.

Has the doctor been out to see her?

Sorry you’re having this trouble. Does she have a commode for toileting?

Cosyfit do slippers in extra wide and they have Velcro fasteners, my mum has wide feet that are very swollen and she wears them all the time instead of shoes. They have a website, cosyfit.com. they also sell them in some pharmacies.

She really needs a proper care package which includes toileting. Have you spoken to a care of the elderly social worker?

Sorry it's cosyfeet

This must be heart-breaking for you as a family..

Just go to Amazon and type in "Extra-Wide Slippers."

You can also get them on www.jdwilliams.co.uk

I'm so sorry for you. You mention a hospice - do they have a lymphodema care team? Have you got their support?

Try this, OP.

www.amazon.co.uk/Surf-Shoes-Breathable-Fastening-Slippers/dp/B01MDP0HQH/ref=sr_1_5?s=gateway&crid=XEUUDJTTQPC3&keywords=extra+wide+slippers+for+swollen+feet+ladies&sprefix=extra+wide+slippers%2Caps%2C185&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1557502436&sr=8-5

Your poor MIL! JD Williams do some upto EEEE fit here: www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/footwear/slippers/_/N-1ytvwfk/products/show.action

Another idea to keep her feet warm might be to see if you can find someone who knits locally - maybe they could make her an odd size pair of socks? You can get some lovely sock yarns, and they wouldn't have elastic to interfere with her circulation. You could perhaps ask the Wooly Hugs group on here, there are some talented knitters there.

Good luck, you sound very caring

Another recommendation for cosyfeet. Very wide fittings with fully Velcro tops and excellent for terribly swollen feet.
Poor lady sounds like she is having a very rough time.

Look on Amazon by putting Velcro Slippers Women in the search engine. We found these slippers for my mum, which worked well.

Best of luck and do keep posting. MN is a mine of information for stuff that can help.

Does your MIL have pads or pull up pants to help her for when she can't get to the loo in time? And/or a commode to keep near her chair so that she doesn't have to go all the way?

I'll ask my DH about the care team. She stayed with us at Christmas. Used the stairs fine. Up until Christmas she was still volunteering at a secondary school helping pupils read. She used to help out a hotel doing all their gardening!

The decline is awful and she's so annoyed and upset with herself.

She's a proud and determined lady, there's lots of things she's not ready for yet. The wheelchair was a win.

We've got a blue badge too.

She used to go to the cinema every Saturday night - she's not been for months

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely mum, you must be under a lot of pressure.

Can you get her referred for a package of care. People come in and help her move, bathe, food prep or just pop in for a chat and check she's OK.

District Nurses can get assessed for continence wear. Particularly when she isn't making it to the bathroom, she will be mortified. The fluid is kept away from her skin with the pads and they are discreet. Then she could possibly go back on her meds to help the fluid in her legs.

District Nurses can pop in and check she's safe, ensure she has everything she needs and provides support to her.

I think this is the company I bought slippers from for my Mum who had one very swollen foot. www.dbshoes.co.uk/pp+ladies-ladies-slippers-house-shoes+lho1