AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

Im never sure if they mean vaginal or simply without pain relief. I nearly had a vaginal birth until they realised her cord was wrapped tight round her neck and her pulse was falling. So then I had a very unnatural and marvelous c section that saved my little one's life. So, vive the unnatural!

I had 3 natural births no drugs at all... what else should I fucking call it??
Who gives a shaggy shit how the baby comes out as long as everyone's ok surely that's all that matters....

Ffs

It’s only offensive if someone uses the term to degrade another person. I’ve had 2 natural births (home births, actually) and I’m quite happy to call it that because it describes what they were and I’m quite happy about that (because they were easy and lovely).

But I also couldn’t bf my first (due to health issues on both our parts). I had no problem with someone calling bf ‘natural’ because it is. Natural doesn’t always mean it’s best though. Now I had a friend who thought social services should take away children from mums who chose not to breastfeed. That’s offensive and degrading (and nuts). But nothing wrong with describing it as natural.

I had two c sections and couldn’t give a shit how people describe their own experiences. In all honesty though unless you give birth by squatting behind a tree completely on your own no birth is truly natural so it’s a misnomer anyway.

You only think it might offend people because you believe a 'natural' birth is somehow superior.

Unless it bursts out through your chest, it's a natural birth.

Re the drugs thing, what about gas and air, or an epidural? It's pain relief. You wouldn't have unnatural neuralgia because you took a couple of paracetemols to relieve it.

To me, people just say “natural” because the word “vaginal” is still too shocking for prudish, British ears in general conversation
Even on articles/medical documents I’ve actuqlly seen the words “physiological birth” used in favour of “vaginal” or “natural” which I guess is the most accurate description of a vaginal birth without using the word “vaginal”

My children are 22 and 20. There are some parts of my parenting I think I could have done better. My son’s caesarean delivery doesn’t feature in that list. Women who are smug about what happened in their labours will discover that parenthood’s a long game.

Like others I think "natural birth" is used as a way of avoiding saying "vaginal birth".

There are lots of descriptors used for birth including natural, drug free, home birth, water birth, c-section, planned c-section, emergency c-section, VBAC, HVBAC, VBAC-2, UB (unattended or unassisted) births ... They're just short-hand to telling a story. The cases where I've seen judgment have been on home births and (deliberately planned) unattended births.

The thing is, no one else really gaf what way your baby exited apart from you yourself. I say this as realising you're not actually important at all is liberating. Come to terms with yourself.

Had a c-section and have no feeling of inferiority. Really don't care how people refer to the birth of their DC. Happy DS arrived as planned and healthy.

Surely it simply means "as nature intended" - ie being expelled through the birth canal without intervention?

I don't believe it implies that anything is wrong with a birth where any intervention has been required - it's a statement of fact IMO.

I preferred the idea of an unnatural birth to a natural death, so here we all are.

Women who are smug about what happened in their labours will discover that parenthood’s a long game.

Yep! This reminds me of the nurse who told the snowflake in the next bed that "the hard bit's just starting now, love." Made me smile a bit....

And it’s too late to put the baby back inside, Barbie!

The health visitor asked me if my birth was natural. I said no forceps and episiotomy. She said 'what we mean is did she come out of your flue?' Or some other euphemism.

But it didn't seem very natural at the time. Plus I was drugged up to eyeballs like a sensible person .

I had an emergency c section following a 35 hour induced labour, due to my cervix failing to progress.

So a totally unnatural labour. I couldn't give a single shit. My DD's head was on the 99th percentile so I am fairly sure that my vagina is in a far nicer state than if I had pushed her out through it!

As long as mum and baby are alive and well at the end, who cares? Anyone looking to feel superior at having a "natural" birth is a plonker. You don't get a certificate and a badge for it.

And there should be no guilt attached to not being able to breast feed. My DD kept falling off so SMA it was. When she needed medication via her formula, it was actually helpful.

Breathing, well, happy.....thats the "natural" outcome all should hope for. How you get to that place does not matter a jot!

Falling off my nipple I meant......i didnt keep dropping her on the floor or anything!

Had a c section and I don't mind at all - nothing natural about hacking you open and pummeling/dragging a baby out.

(Mind you, suppose sometimes vaginal births end in hacking you open and pummeling/dragging a baby out to some extent too).

Special snowflake" is such a nasty little phrase, used so often on Mumsnet (especially AIBU) to dismiss, belittle and sneer at people's feelings.

If a woman is struggling to come to terms with an unplanned c-section and/or traumatic birth, and something minor like the phrase "natural birth" makes her upset, she is NOT a fucking "special snowflake". I don't see anyone policing anyone else's language, just women feeling quietly sad about the way their birth went.

I just thought this was worth repeating. For me, it was the ante-natal groups who refused to discuss anything other than an ideal 'natural' birth that made it so hard to accept my emcs. Of course now I know that 'natural' is rarely that - drugs, forceps, episiotomies, vonteuse deliveries - none of which are natural, all of which are essential in healthy births. I don't care how an individual mum decides to describe her experience, but ante-natal classes should inform mums to be about all birth possibilities, without agenda. Prepare mums for all eventualities - for some a 'natural' birth will be dangerous and unattainable. It still makes me cross how ill-informed I was!

Mine came out of the sunroof. Two emergencies.

But if it's good enough for Caesar...

No wouldn't bother me.

Though ex-sil liked to make a big deal about how superior and magical her births were. But then she was a bit of a twat.

For me, it was the ante-natal groups who refused to discuss anything other than an ideal 'natural' birth that made it so hard to accept my emcs

I second this. We were very much given the idea that it was will alone and if you needed intervention it was your failure rather than anything else. I don't think the sheer number of times the word "failure" was used on my notes helped either...nothing like making a new mother feel useless before she even holds her baby.

@Coolcoolcoolcoolcool
Out the flue 😂

My csection was definitly an unnatural birth ...very alien situation. I would not get offended

@Dinosauratemydaffodils
Yes, our NCT instructor spent a good 20mins telling us all the different things we could do with our placenta once it was out, but refused to answer my questions about assisted deliveries, because it was a "worst case scenario" and "not something to work towards"....