AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

I hated this question partly because it felt intrusive and partly because I genuinely didn't know what people were getting at - which bit makes it unnatural? pain relief? episiotomy? forceps? c-section?

@sar302 the NHS community midwife who led our ante-natal classes refused to talk about c-sections, interventions, drugs, what could go wrong and options available, anything other than how to breathe during contractions, how your partner can massage you, and bouncing on a ball! Basically failing to prepare a large part of that cohort of mums. It's appalling when I think back.

My NCT leader came round just after DS1 was born by EMCS and told me earnestly "you don't have to feel you've failed".

In a very steely voice I told her that as my baby and I were alive and well I didn't think I'd failed at all.

Women with that sort of attitude stink. And it was the last straw in terms of the NCT for me.

I think the thing is the term natural has this connotation of being better, somehow superior. A lot of women who have c sections have tried for the deemed superior natural birth and ended up with a c section, ie major, often unplanned, sometimes life saving surgery. But they are still effectively seen as having failed.

As women, we need to stop putting pressure. On ourselves for this perfect birth, we’re encouraged to write birth plans, we are led to believe we have choices. Every single birth is down to luck, from the baby’s position to the midwife assigned. As soon as we realise this it will stop this moral hierarchy of birth methods

Does it really matter? I find the NCT alarming in their thoughts and What they think is best. E wry one of different and I don’t think they make allowances. Just ignore

'Natural' would mean drug free imo. Fwiw I've had a vaginal birth and a c section. I didn't give a fiddler's as long as my DC and I were ok afterwards. Does anyone really care how someone has their baby once everyone is ok afterwards. Nothing to be judgemental or superior about. A girl I went to school with lost her baby at full term and it was heart breaking.

Really agree with people who had negative NCT class experiences. When I went tot NCT classes all that was talked about was birth plans, breathing techniques etc. I dared to ask if labour pains were only felt through contractions ( I had NO IDEA about birth) and was told off for using the word' pain'! My NCT teacher said that I was being negative by using such a word! FFS!!!! And there was absolutely no discussion about c-sections or anything other than a vaginal delivery. ~Makes me cross to think about it now.

I had one child by emergency c-section and one delivered by ventouse. I'm not upset by people referring to the vaginal births as 'natural'. That is true in so far as that is what nature intended - what would happen without intervention. It is also true that when the only option was 'natural' births then many women died in childbirth, as I would have done with my eldest.

I couldn't afford NCT classes, we actually had quite good NHS ones. The local NCT Facebook group though was fairly snotty. Including the interesting individual who told me I was letting down all women and girls by not working and that regardless of the welfare of my children I should go back to work to set an example.

I don’t feel offended by the term ‘natural’ but i do feel like snorting.

Unless they gave birth unassisted in a jungle with no developments in hygiene, knowledge, gas, air, paracetamol, etc then... it wasn’t natural. It was VAGINAL.

As women, we need to stop putting pressure. On ourselves for this perfect birth, we’re encouraged to write birth plans, we are led to believe we have choices. Every single birth is down to luck, from the baby’s position to the midwife assigned. As soon as we realise this it will stop this moral hierarchy of birth methods

Writing a birth plan was incredibly useful for me. It helped me to mentally prepare for what was ahead and make sure I was well informed and knew what my choices were, and yes, there definitely are choices. Yes, I was lucky in some ways that both labours were straightforward, but had they not been and more intervention had been required, at least I would know what was going on and what to ask or get DH to ask. Also I had put myself in the best position to have straightforward pregnancies and births and to deliver healthy babies by being fit and healthy and young when I had them - not that it is any guarantee, but it reduces the risks.

I think that’s why Drs don’t refer to it as a natural birth. They call is a “straightforward vaginal delivery”. What makes it natural, no drugs, no gas, drugs but it has to be vaginal?

I always experienced people who talked of "natural" birth to mean drug free.
I hate the term personally as it suggests anything else is "unnatural" which only adds to people feeling they've "failed" at giving birth if they choose or end up having intervention
I always thought genuinely good for you for doing it that way if that's what you wanted- as I know I couldn't have done it!
I think as with the breastfeeding thing there is always a contingent who are a bit judgey and for whom there is only one right way

But neither of my kids were born "unnaturally"

@Monkeyssplit You either have a natural birth or you don't. If you are describing the birth of your child you can say natural or assisted or by c-section or whatever else you want to say if you want. Nobody cares how somebody else gives birth. Nobody will be able to remember how somebody else gave birth when the child is older. Policing how we talk about birth makes an issue out of it. It shouldn't be an issue. it shouldn't be an issue but it is isn't it ?! I've been asked by MEN if I had a "natural " birth (being drug free)
Some people DO care sadly. Your argument could be made for guessing which kids in the school playground were breastfed or not same as guessing who's mum had a c section or an epidural - but people DO care and judge you for it!

@Aprillygirl Both vaginal birth and breast feeding is of course the natural way. Women who needed c-sections and to bottle feed should just feel grateful that those methods are now available instead of getting offended over a terminology. yes and bless those poor silly women who aren't really "proper" women as they needed the help of medical advancements

I'm currently pregnant and I do find the term "natural birth" jarring. My midwives call a natural birth one that is vaginal and doesn't involve drugs. It does imply that any birth which has drugs or assistance is somehow unnatural. Like the only way to have a natural birth is to gently sigh the baby out surrounded by whale music and no drugs whatsoever and if you haven't done that then you've done something unnatural = bad.

Depends on your definitions of natural, for me natural means no medical instrumental intervention.

Breathing, well, happy.....thats the "natural" outcome all should hope for. How you get to that place does not matter a jot!

Well it does matter actually to some women and in addition a fairly large proportion of women have long term problems from childbirth/ nasty infections etc. Some women find their experience traumatic and this is fairly likely to be those whose babies ended up in SCBU or or had EMCS for example. So a lot of women are actually alive but not 'well' both mentally and physically after birth.

Of course anyone who thinks they are superior for managing a natural birth (or breastfeeding) is a nob but when women feel shit about what's happened it piles it on.

I agree 100% with emma lets stop dismissing women's feelings.

Barely any birth is entirely 'natural' these days - the vast majority have intervention to some degree (unless you refuse all medical help and 'free' birth I suppose, which most people will agree is dangerous). The closest you can get without being dangerous is a drug free home birth, but even then, I assume most people accept the scans and monitoring on the run up. I don't like it when people think they are somehow better than others because of how they gave birth - the only thing that matters is that the mother and baby get through it safely.

Is a natural birth not just another way of saying vaginal birth? I had 2 venthouse deliveries and a forceps delivery but they were still referred to as natural birth by the medical staff at the hospital.

Anyway - vaginal birth/c section - is it that big a deal whichever way baby is born, so long that it’s healthy?

Yabu

My ELCS was a 'natural' birth to me.

Maximum medical intervention feels like my natural choice

It really wouldn't offend me

Other women's idea of 'natural' terrifies me.

I've had 2 sections and wouldn't be in the slightest bit offended. It's easier than saying vaginal birth in conversation, so go ahead.

I also had two c sections and wasn’t bothered by ‘natural’ to mean ‘no medical interventions’, but my NCT teacher - who sounds a gem compared to many of yours and talked through all the interventions - called vaginal birth a ‘normal’ birth, which did wind me up. There’s nothing ‘abnormal’ about medical intervention at a time people’s lives are at stake.

Does "natural" birth really mean drug free as well as intervention free? The only people I know who had that kind of birth were women on their second or third child who had the baby before they had time to get to the hospital.

Everyone else had some kind of pain relief or intervention. Even my friend who had a planned home birth had gas and air!

I do think it’s a bit strange that we have reached a point where women feel they have to be vaguely apologetic for having had a low/no intervention birth.

I just say I gave birth I’m more admirable of women who have had c-sections, my own DM included, as I’m nowhere near brave enough for that. I think it takes way more balls