AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

I had an assisted vaginal delivery and a c section. They felt fairly unnatural, even if they were essential. Can't get worked up about this one.

All the drugs in the world, forceps, lots of pulling and then raised on aptamil. Turned out fine.

There’s another child in their class at school where everything was “natural” and still shits himself at 5.

Makes no difference.

I've had two c sections and couldn't care less how other people had their babies or what they call it and even if it makes them feel superior. My and baby and I would have likely died without my first c section so that's enough for me

OP, sorry you wanted to breastfeed and couldn't. FWIW I think it's perfectly natural to be sad about that

"Special snowflake" is such a nasty little phrase, used so often on Mumsnet (especially AIBU) to dismiss, belittle and sneer at people's feelings.

If a woman is struggling to come to terms with an unplanned c-section and/or traumatic birth, and something minor like the phrase "natural birth" makes her upset, she is NOT a fucking "special snowflake". I don't see anyone policing anyone else's language, just women feeling quietly sad about the way their birth went.

AND THAT'S OK. Mothers' feelings matter.

I had a c section. I couldn’t care less how you describe your birth!

Dahlietta It wasn't written to sound superior, honestly. They were both born so quickly - and tbh relatively painlessly - that there was just no time for any sort of monitoring or pain relief. I wasn't being brave and stoic, I had pain relief with the first; I don't believe in suffering for the sake of it.

They're both in their 30s now so it was a fairly long time ago.

Thanks to you Another Emma! Totally agree!

Only if you think “natural” is somehow better.

Yes! Somehow we have got into the mindset that “natural” = good. All sorts of things are natural. Herpes. Cholera. Tsunamis. Decomposition of dead flesh etc etc. Agree with a previous poster; loads of people are ridiculously queasy about using the word “vaginal”.....!

Even worse is 'natural parenting'. Oh fuck off. We're by and large all doing what comes naturally. The person I know who labels herself thus made massive assumptions about my choices because I didn't choose to publicise them - largely because I made those choices for me and my children based on luck and circumstance. 'Natural' just smacks of superiority, I hate it.

I wouldn't be offended by you using the term natural birth.
It does wind me up a little bit when people go imply that having a natural birth is anything other than good luck though. You can prepare as much as you like but if your baby has other ideas then you're going to end up with a EMCS.
This isn't you though and you are allowed to talk about your experiences without having to worry that not everyone's experience has been the same.
Anyway I'm pleased you had good birth experiences and sorry that you found BF so hard.

Both vaginal birth and breast feeding is of course the natural way. Women who needed c-sections and to bottle feed should just feel grateful that those methods are now available instead of getting offended over a terminology.

I had a difficult induced first birth, and a deeply traumatising second induction. I am preg with the 3rd and recently broke down crying at a physio appt because she kept insisting that my previous births were ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ deliveries. To me they were anything but and the loaded meaning behind those words being emphasised repeatedly (I kept correcting to vaginal) was too much for me at the time.
So yes.. I think the way we phrase these things can be very upsetting for various reasons.

I’ve had 4 c sections...I’m abroad where there are so many unnecessary ops...as a 1st time mother, I felt I had little control over the c section that I was pushed (excuse the irony) to have. I was then 8cm dilated with no.2 after less than 1.5 hours of recognized labour and they wouldn’t let me have a Vbac (no reason given)...anyway couldn’t be bothered to argue with nos 3 & 4...so I had 4 c sections in 8 years.

Sorry I digressed...I would’ve loved a “natural” birth but didn’t get one. I’m not at all offended by the term though. A c section is not a natural birth, whether emergency or not. My babies were all healthy and everything went well in the end for which I’m thankful.

I wouldn't say "vaginal" to colleagues and acquaintances, so yes I'd say natural.

2 c sections and don't feel offended by the term, in fact I was quite glad about my sections when the nurse described fanny as 'honeymoon fresh' during my last smear!

I had a c-section. Nothing natural about it. I was plugged full of drugs and surrounded by people in masks in a sterile atmosphere while they cut a baby out of me.

I'm not at all offended by the term natural birth, so long as people acknowledge that nature is often a total bitch. Natural is not the same as benign or good.

I had a natural birth. Had found out earlier that day that my baby had died, so she was stillborn.
Subsequent children were c sections. You can call those births ‘unnatural’ but believe me, leaving hospital with a memory box did not feel like it should have been a natural course of events.

Sorry hadn’t read the whole thread but even though I had 4 c sections, I was fortunate (IMO) to bf all 4 babies despite some early challenges.

I've only had c-sections and the term natural birth doesn't bother me.

Technically I had a natural birth but I was induced and it really didn't feel particularly natural to me. So coming from the opposite side of it applies to me but I don't feel like it does, I'm in no way offended by the phrase.

As I said to my midwife last week, "My self esteem is not contingent on pushing something out of my vagina." Not offended at all - I had a highly unnatural birth. Still have a lovely child to show for it.

I would have no problem with the term natural although I wouldn't deem it better than unnatural. It's perfectly natural for a significant proportion of mothers and babies to die in childbirth so if you and your medical team have taken steps to avoid that much better than letting nature take it's course.

It wouldn't offend me. You couldn't offer me enough money to attempt a natural delivery!

To be fair, you couldn't offer me enough money to contract the also-natural bubonic plague, either.

I take issue with it (as someone who delivered vaginally), because it is yet another stick to beat women with.

Another thing for women to attempt to attain, which is laughable, given that you only manage to attain the birth the baby lets you have!

It's a word that some women (and probably some men) use to make themselves feel superior.

It's also known - alongside "failure to breastfeed" - as one of the key issues that can cause PP depression. Women "failing" to deliver "naturally".

We are continuing to adapt language use all the time. Racist language. Sexist language. Language around mental health. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to consider the words you use when discussing any sensitive topic.

MordredsOrrery
haha! :)