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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that demanding, spoilt, selfish types always say someone is being mean when you won't do as they say?

54 replies

Popcorntwice · 07/05/2019 16:34

I have just had a nightmare Ebay buyer who bought an item, never paid for it so I eventually cancelled the sale and relisted. She then immediately (before I had time to block her) bought the item again and sent a snotty message saying how she was very busy and it's not much to wait a week or so for payment. I said I'd sell it to her if she paid straight away this time. She again didn't and after a few days I cancelled the sale and relisted.

She has just sent another snotty message and I replied saying that she hasn't paid so it doesn't seem as though she does want to buy the item and she has sent me another message, having a tantrum really and saying I'm 'mean' because I won't wait for her to have enough time to pay! Yet she has plenty of time to send messages and but items! So apparently I'm mean for not giving in to her demands.

I also had an ex friend who was also very demanding and thought the world revolves around her, and if ever I couldn't or didn't do as she said, such as picking her up to drop her in town for a night out with another friend (that I wasn't invited to), she would accuse me of being difficult, or awkward or hard work!

Do these types not see that their attitude is the problem? Do they really go through life thinking it's everyone else?

OP posts:
Witchofzog · 07/05/2019 16:36

Some people are just entitled arseholes. Good for you for standing up for yourself

Hiddenaspie1973 · 07/05/2019 16:37

Definitely

Preggosaurus9 · 07/05/2019 16:38

Overgrown toddlers in adult bodies sadly!

EL8888 · 07/05/2019 16:39

Yep that’s been my experience! eBay particularly attracts a fair few unreasonable types

Original poster
Popcorntwice · 07/05/2019 16:39

It pisses me off how they always get away with it! They always have friends to hang around with, and people trying to please them. No one ever dares to stand up to them I guess

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 07/05/2019 16:40

So you've met my mother in law then?

Singlenotsingle · 07/05/2019 16:41

It only takes a minute to pay by PayPal. She's a CF.

beenhereages1 · 07/05/2019 16:42

I had a friend like this, always thought the world revolves around her. She then had a child and taught him that the world revolves around him too and that anyone who didn't treat him as number one were mean etc.

Sad really, he's actually a nice young boy but his mum is instilling something into him that means he loses friends and I think this is only going to get worse the older he gets Sad

breakfastpizza · 07/05/2019 16:43

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Popcorntwice · 07/05/2019 16:46

She sent me another message saying I'm a bad person and that she hopes I can learn to be a better person and learn some manners. I sent her a message back saying I hope she learns that the world does not revolve around her.

OP posts:
Shamalamalam · 07/05/2019 17:04

YANBU

SiL (DH’s sister) is currently having a huge tantrum about how mean and selfish I am because I won’t let her daughter ride my daughter’s pony

Niece has had about 4 lessons and is still on a lead rein. DD has been riding for years and does cross country, jumping, etc so while pony is perfectly lovely it is not by any stretch of the imagination a lead rein pony

SiL thinks DD should be made to share

SiL doesn’t want to share the livery/vet/farrier/feed bills though

MiL and other SiL have got involved and I’m mean and selfish and jealous Confused

DH is dealing with it now, I can’t be arsed with them all. I mean just how mean and selfish am I for not wanting niece to get hurt Hmm

mbosnz · 07/05/2019 17:08

Shamalamalam I think I now understand the saying 'that takes the biscuit'! That is unreal!

Good on you for staying staunch - I can imagine how I'd react (or my daughter would) at being required to 'share' her pony! Regardless of the pony's suitability or otherwise.

Original poster
Popcorntwice · 07/05/2019 17:08

Oh god your SIL sounds like a nightmare!

OP posts:
Original poster
Popcorntwice · 07/05/2019 17:09

Selfish demanding types always expect everyone else to 'share' everything with them but won't ever share their stuff or do anything for anyone.

OP posts:
caughtinanet · 07/05/2019 17:11

Are 3 year olds allowed ebay accounts nowadays, how childish.

DontCallMeShitley · 07/05/2019 17:13

That is why I always block Ebay buyers that are not buyers. Prefer BIN with immediate payment only then they have to pay before they can end the listing. Otherwise, late payment and they are blocked straight away. Messing about with stupid questions, blocked straight away.

So many people like this this days, in most situations.

Original poster
Popcorntwice · 08/05/2019 08:11

She's still sending messages! Apparently I've ruined her week..😂

OP posts:
RosamundDarnley · 08/05/2019 08:17

Open a non paying bidder case against her. If she doesn't pay on that she'll get a strike against her - many eBay sellers block people from buying who have 2 strikes registered against them. Also eBay will remove any bad feedback left by a non-payer providing you've followed the procedures ie opened the case and closed it once 7 days was up.

RosamundDarnley · 08/05/2019 08:20

Sorry, buyer gets 4 days, not 7.

Picturesonthewall · 08/05/2019 08:21

Shamalamalam that sounds like something my IL’s would say. I often get the families share line and implications that we could fork out for their kids school fees as it would make the kids equal....

ImNotNigel · 08/05/2019 08:26

It’s the same on MN if you disagree with the OP. People will pile on you saying you are being mean and hateful and making personal attacks .

“you obviously have a sad life and have nothing better to do than be nasty to people on MN” , “ you are a sad and bitter person who obviously has no children herself “ . Etc etc .

This is for expressing a different opinion When the OP has started a thread asking for opinions.

DpWm · 08/05/2019 08:29

Ah, with non-payers I use the line "Hi do you still want the item? Someone else has said they want it".
I have always received immediate payment after that.
You really get some utter freaks. Once, for genuine reasons I was locked out of my PayPal when I went to pay for domething, it involved my needing to confirm my bank account etc so it was going to take a few days for me to sort it out.

I messaged the seller with an honest apologetic message asking if they wouldn't mind waiting a few days while I sort it out, they replied with a torrent of abuse including accusing me of being "a f**king timewaster" and they were sick of "people like me" I should "get off eBay" I was write shocked. Needless to say I did not try to purchase the item again from that seller.

But yeah you being mean for wanting payment for an item you sold, lol. Probably quite a common thing.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/05/2019 08:29

I think the saying how if it seems like everyone in the world is rude to you then maybe the problem is you is definitely true

MachineBee · 08/05/2019 08:32

Clearly your buyer was a child whose parents couldn’t say ‘No’ or set boundaries. This is what happens people when your child is made ruler of the universe. Grin

Well done OP for standing your ground. The advice about following non-paying buyer process is good.

bakedbeanzontoast · 08/05/2019 08:32

It seems she wanted to guarantee herself the item but didn't have the money to pay for it at the time she saw it on eBay.

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