To not want to bring in food for the whole office

[bankholiday2]

Name changed for this as I think I'm probably being silly and stingy.

I have been working for the same organisation for about 5 years. I have recently moved departments and the culture in the new team is to take it in turns buying in food for everyone. This seems to sometimes be breakfast, sometimes lunch.

The problem is, they spend a lot of money! Someone bought in Greggs breakfast last Friday, spending over £30. I saw the receipt by chance. A few days before someone had ordered several pizzas to be shared between approx 20 people.

I really don't want to have to start buying food for the whole team. I don't have much spare cash. I always pre-prepare my own lunches etc to save £.

What can I do? This is new to me. I don't want to seem unfriendly by refusing their kind offerings, but I don't want to eat it and not return the favour. It's very awkward!

Sounds a bit weird but does it all even out in the end? I.e you might spend £30 on Greggs breakfast once every three months but you get a breakfast once a week because everyone takes a turn?

MN will say YANBU as you shouldn't have to pay out to go to work but I think a job is what you make it and if you don't like the culture you should change jobs 🤷🏻‍♀️

You could opt out? Don’t partake in their offerings and so you don’t have to buy.

Lidl croissant and breakfast treats is a good one if necessary

I would just prepare something cheap to bring in - people might be touched you went to extra effort.

Yanbu.

It's one thing bringing donuts for birthdays but way over the top feeding everyone on a regular basis.

I've always taken my own veggie lunch too. I certainly wouldn't be eating food other peolle bring in.

This would annoy me tbh. It doesn't even out if you always bring in lunch you've made at home yourself.

I'd just say some bs about having to have a clean diet for your health. I mean it's not exactly bs as Greggs and pizza doesn't scream healthy. Maybe a good excuse to opt out of taking any of their food and not having to bring any in. You'd just have to make sure you have a very healthy lunch everyday

Blimey. I’ve worked in places where people were expected to bring in cakes on their birthday, but not this. Offices have their own culture I guess, but this sounds as if it could get annoyingly competitive and lead to food and money being wasted.
If you feel you want to opt out, perhaps there’s someone you could quietly explain this to? It wouldn’t seem unreasonable to me.

That sounds like a load of bollocks. I don’t even get involved in tea clubs let alone that! I use an intermittent fasting diet and don’t eat during the day so that would be useless to me, plus I eat what I like not what someone else has decided to buy. I tend to low carb so Greggs breakfast and pizza would be completely off the list.

I would say that I don’t want to take part and that would be that, but I don’t get involved in office nonsense. If it’s an expected ‘workplace culture’ type bollocks, could you say that you have dietary requirements and have to be careful what you eat, therefore can’t take part?

Thank you.
I think I will say the thing about having 'dietary requirement' so have to be careful with what I eat.
I'm quite a thin person - have occasionally had people ask if I've ever had an eating disorder. I'm sort of a bit embarrassed and think they might assume I have something along the lines of an ED if I continuously refuse... I don't. I just want to eat my own (budgeted for) thing.
So I'd be worried about that with refusing.

How often would you need to do this?

Once a week you'll have to speak up and day you don't want to be involved. A couple of times a year I'd suck it up and do fruit bowl and crossiants or scones. Doesn't need to be expensive.

That's ridiculous! We bring cakes in our birthday but that's it. Some people don't bother and that's fair enough.

Just opt out, maybe others will follow your lead and pack it in!

Yeah I really wouldn't love this at all. Does everyone go along with it or are there any who opt out? I know it should be as simple as just saying no but in reality if it's the whole department I can understand why a person might feel awkward.

If you feel you can't opt out without awkwardness then I'd suggest buying some of those bake at home pan au chocolat, croissants and pastries though they're not that cheap if you're doing them for 20 people! Are you any good at HM muffins and scones?

Ready made puff pastry + streaky bacon + cheese makes good low cost twists! I would hate to pay &30 for breakfast too

Ok if it's twenty people there are twenty working days in the month. So onky once a month do you need to do it.

Say you spent twenty pounds, that would equate to a pound a day. If you did Aldi croissants or something you could do it for a tenner or whatever. Equating to fifty pence a day, so still joining in, you could eat what everyone else brought and still making it within budget?

I'd opt out, take your own food and say you have a nut/dairy/wheat/egg (or similar) allergy or intolerance and can't risk it.

Agree to just bow out of the ‘rounds’ with an excuse if you don’t feel happy doing it.

If you want to still feel ‘part of the team’ can you maybe stretch to occasionally bringing in a few of those £2 co-op cakes or similar? Otherwise as other PP have said you could prob do pastries and fruit for less than £10. If you’re not eating others’ food you won’t be seen as ‘cheap’ and you still get remembered as “taking part”.

What about making a couple of homemade cakes instead? Or buy a couple if you hate baking. It could become your thing instead of the breakfast/pizzas and you will still be being friendly and taking part.

Why don’t you ask someone what the “system” is? In my last job it looked like one guy bought bacon (or sausage or whatever) rolls for everyone every Friday, and I was bemused the first week when one landed on my desk and he wouldn’t take any money. On the second week I asked what was going on, thinking he was some sort of breakfast billionaire, and it turned out there was a “fund” that people paid into on payday, then my colleague picked up the order on his way in. My manager had kicked in for me as a new person, which was so nice of him. Not everyone participated, and that was completely fine. (I bloody love a bacon roll though, so I was all over it!)

I would say watch it if you do go with a food-allergy excuse or similar, OP, as you may accidentally fall foul of it on a team dinner or similar!

I’d think again, you can definitely do it on the cheap (i’ve just checked the Aldi website and reckon I could do an excellent spread for £10.10). People are doing pizzas/Greggs etc because they value their time over money.

I'd hate this. I'm unreasonably competitive when it comes to feeding people. I'd end up bankrupt.
However... if you don't feel able to opt out-
Flapjacks? About the simplest cheapest thing to do for a crowd. Shove an over ripe banana in thrre and call them breakfast!. Or crispy cakes?

What I would do is join in and eat some when other people choose to spend £££ on bringing in food, and be grateful for the genrosity.

And then I would bake some cakes or buy something like those 3 for £3 flapjacks, brownies etc from supermarkets every now and again, like every few months.

Just because other people are choosing to spend so much money, doesn't mean you have to OP.

Work places are so unreasonable for this. As I see it you'll have to 'own' your decision. Getting twisted in lies r.e. food requirements/allergies etc will only lead to your downfall when you momentarily forget the lie. These sort of excuses are also often (wrongly) thought of as covers for EDs - so if you already feel anxious about wrongly being judged as having an ED you'd only be fuelling the fire.

Just tell Jane or Bob or whoever organises it that you'd rather not take part. Don't be drawn into giving reasons why. Be polite about it but just say it's not really something you want to be a part of.

It is what it is and anyone who holds a grudge against you because you refuse to carry a box of 20 croissants once a month is probably someone that has far more deeper issues than a croissant.

And the suggestions to just 'cook' 20-odd meals sounds to me frankly much worse. The effort, cost, hassle involved in that would probably be far more onerous.

This is really and truly not normal! Can you have a quiet private chat with whoever is the team leader about this? You may not be the only person in the group who is privately thinking 'WTAF am I stuck with this forever??'

Where I work people bring I treats and when they are gone they are gone.

Can you buy some sweets from the pound shop to share?

I'd just tell the truth and opt out. 'It's a lovely gesture, but I can't spare the cash'.