To not want to bring in food for the whole office

[bankholiday2]

Name changed for this as I think I'm probably being silly and stingy.

I have been working for the same organisation for about 5 years. I have recently moved departments and the culture in the new team is to take it in turns buying in food for everyone. This seems to sometimes be breakfast, sometimes lunch.

The problem is, they spend a lot of money! Someone bought in Greggs breakfast last Friday, spending over £30. I saw the receipt by chance. A few days before someone had ordered several pizzas to be shared between approx 20 people.

I really don't want to have to start buying food for the whole team. I don't have much spare cash. I always pre-prepare my own lunches etc to save £.

What can I do? This is new to me. I don't want to seem unfriendly by refusing their kind offerings, but I don't want to eat it and not return the favour. It's very awkward!

I've recently started a new job and it does seem to be a thing for staff to bring in occasional 'treats' for everyone else, not every day, but once a week, usually on a Friday. One girl bakes muffins, another one brings in bacon sandwiches for everyone, someone else provided a tray of cupcakes. Another girl made a cherry and walnut loaf. One of the guys made a huge chocolate layer cake. Another guy bought in a tray of doughnuts. When it was my turn I bought in a bag of apples, pears, satsumas and punnets of grapes, apricots and strawberries. Everyone dived into the fruit with as much enthusiasm as the high carb goodies.

It's just nice to be part of the team.

I'm steadily getting slimmer so won't be eating the cakes, doughnuts and muffins over summer, but I haven't made any claims as to why not. I want to go to the Christmas party (when I WILL be a skinny minnie) and eat chocolate fudgecake with whipped cream for dessert if I want to

I once worked for a company where we had rotas for biscuit Mondays and cake Fridays, then on your birthday, you had to bring in an entire buffet to feed the office (about 50 people)! The biscuits and cakes were nice I guess, but the buffet took it to a whole new level. Luckily I left just before my birthday came round, there was no way I was providing that on what was a minimum wage admin job!
The sad thing was that those who declined to take part were really bitched about. Nobody seemed to think about the fact that perhaps this was a huge deal to some people.
I'm sure that there must be others feeling the same way you do, maybe they need you to be their hero and step up and say that you can't take part? I hope you're braver than me!

I have ibs. Say this and ppl stop asking you questions lol. I have to be careful with what I eat. It’s also an excellent get out of jail

I would just tell people how you feel about all this,,and if they are rather iffy about it, that's just too bad. And why do people have to have breakfast at work, never heard of this before. These kind of set ups in offices would really annoy me.

Home baking is usually as expensive as bought goods- sometimes more. In American motels the usual breakfast is often coffee and a tray of doughnuts to choose from. A large box of doughnuts from Gregg's would go down well and not quite break the bank. Cheapest anywhere. Alternatively, Google a recipe for cookies made almost entirely from bananas. Look good.

Home baking is usually as expensive as bought goods

This is ridiculous. YANBU.

The idea of being told to change jobs because you don't want to buy everyone's breakfast or lunch is absurd regardless of how little or often you're expected to do it. If it's part of the 'culture' and such a massive deal perhaps it should be said at the interview"Oh and you'll be expected to buy breakfast or lunch for everyone once every 20 days!"

There's a lot of crap that goes on that you're expected to partake in as it's part of 'the culture'....'We all socialise together as we all go on nights out together and we're all friends with each other on Facebook..' oh please, it's like some kind of college sorority! '

Don't partake in what they give out and opt out yourself. That's the best solution.

Expect funny looks and the odd snide comment but ignore them. If they have an issue with you not taking part the issue isn't you at all,most likely. If anyone gives you any hassle over it,go to management.

This is one of those things that can start out as a friendly gesture and quickly turn cliquey and nasty as people are being pressured into taking part to 'fit in', especially newbies.

Stand your ground and good luck.

I wonder if the Op works at the place I have just left ? It was exactly the same - people spending £30-40 bringing in a variety of different bread , 3 or 4 different jams and marmalade's, croissants, bacon and sausages for the whole office.

Bloody ridiculous imo . It didn't bring everyone together, it just pissed people off.

Oh God this reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross was asked to put money in the careteaker's leaving collection even though he had never met him! Sounds a bit much. We used to do a Jacob's table every so often but everyone chipped in so cost was minimal!

First, I’m thinking of having to transport all of this food into work if you don’t drive there. Second, I love my food, especially breakfast, but I wouldn’t want someone else deciding for me what I am going to eat. So I would smile and say ‘what a great idea but for lots of reasons I will have to opt out’. If they press you, just say ‘sorry, I can’t do that’.

Aren’t you benefiting from it too. 7 Aldi frozen pizzas if there is an oven will only cost £7. Or 3 Tesco hot chicken and potatoes won’t cost much from rotisserie. Or make a Spanish omelette and bring in some roast drumsticks and salad from home.

And some fusili pasta with pesto and tuna. Cheap as chips.

Home baking is usually as expensive as bought goods

Absolutely true. I've costed up recipes many times and homemade is normally more expensive...though tastes much better!

The thing with this is that yes, the cost of you buying food for everyone may balance out eventually as you also benefit from everyone else's offering, but if it's your turn on a day where money's tight, you're gonna be resentful.

I think if offices have setups like this employees expect “treats”. So bargain oven pizzas etc won’t go down well.

I am lactose intolerant. It's great because no one expects me to join the milk club, and I think people feel a bit sorry for me so don't steal my milk.

I would tell your team something similar. Milk is in everything. When I've overdone it for a few days even a brioche roll can set me off. Safer bet to not have any.

Gosh! Really? How hard is it really?? To pay 30-50£ once in many weeks??! It evens out. And wow what a team spirit being a stinger ...

You shouldn’t feel obliged to participate & you shouldn’t feel like you’ve got to make excuses.

Most of us bring in cakes/savouries/fruit on birthdays into the office, but not everyone does. No-one feels slighted, we respect their view point, and we are all still a team & interact with each other.

If you’re made to feel like your not part of a team for not buying food, then that I’m afraid is a form of bullying !

Totally agree. I also didnt read that the author of this post was not enjoying all the food brought in (and paid )by the others...
Isnt a joy to treat your team once in many weeks? Where is the issue? I dont get it.

Wow not a surprise that some teams have members that do not contribute even in such a miniscule agreement. Stand her ground? For what? Against everyone who already has paid and participated? Yuck. I really dislike people who are so petty that can even sacrifice the whole team spirit for just “to stand up” ... maybe people should pick their battles on scale of importance? Not every petty reason?

People should learn about community and teams and understand how important is to do things for the spirit of the whole community and for the others .

'Team spirit' is not about feeling coerced or made to feel forced into spending a lot of money she can't really afford to part with or want to just to keep the others happy. She'll be short of money that she didn't want to spend or such or needed for something else but hey, 'community' and 'team spirit' is more important,eh?
£30 may be minuscule to some but not others and neither is it a petty amount.
I'd hardly call bringing in food for 20 other people important.
The other people probably didn't want to participate either but have been made to feel like they have to.
I wouldn't if it was me,but then I define 'team spirit' and 'community' in different ways and I don't believe in buying respect or friendship because I'm sure there would be those who would shun or treat someone differently who didn't participate to those who did,like a team you have to pay to keep on the right side of,money through intimidation.
I'd hardly call the issue minuscule in that case.

So stupid I wouldn’t join in