To not want to bring in food for the whole office

[bankholiday2]

Name changed for this as I think I'm probably being silly and stingy.

I have been working for the same organisation for about 5 years. I have recently moved departments and the culture in the new team is to take it in turns buying in food for everyone. This seems to sometimes be breakfast, sometimes lunch.

The problem is, they spend a lot of money! Someone bought in Greggs breakfast last Friday, spending over £30. I saw the receipt by chance. A few days before someone had ordered several pizzas to be shared between approx 20 people.

I really don't want to have to start buying food for the whole team. I don't have much spare cash. I always pre-prepare my own lunches etc to save £.

What can I do? This is new to me. I don't want to seem unfriendly by refusing their kind offerings, but I don't want to eat it and not return the favour. It's very awkward!

Don't start telling lies about dietary requirements just opt out and then don't eat a morsel of their stuff!

P.s. you might find that other people will join you. These things start off as a nice occasional thing and quickly spiral into something else when you’ve got a big team. I bet other people are a bit fed up with the obligation now the novelty has worn off.

Opt out and care not what people think of you. In an office that size you won’t be the only one.

Or try and convince them that if thet want to continue this ridiculous practice then everyone should pay up-front for the Greggs run.

I really wouldn’t ask your line-manager about stopping it or making it less frequent. Whilst it does seem a touch over the top, you are likely to create resentment amongst those who are happy with the arrangement as they’ll think you stopped (or at least tried to stop) them doing something nice when you could easily have just not taken part.

Either do it or don’t do it, but either way own it and don’t invent an eating issue you’ll forget about and might get caught out over. You don’t need to give a reason, just don’t eat their stuff. You don’t necessarily even need to tell anyone you won’t be taking part unless you’re approached about joining the rota - certainly where I work nobody has ever said “I’m not going to bring in post-holiday/birthday treats”, they just don’t do it if they don’t want to. I do it sometimes, not nearly as much as I used to though, nobody has said anything. Generally people don’t care as much as we worry they will and as long as you’re not scoffing down everything brought in but refusing to reciprocate, I certainly can’t see you being “ostracised”!

Don’t lie about having a restricted diet . You can’t eat for free three times a week and not do your part. How many people in the team? How often do you really have to do it?

When it’s yours turn go to Lidl and get their crossiants, 30p a crossiant you can’t go wrong! Even buying for the whole office wouldn’t be expensive.
However if you still don’t want too just make sure you aren’t eating any of the ones people have paid for as then you’d be a CF

Yeah don't say you have a special diet they might start accommodating it and then you will have to give the real reason you're not eating the food.

I made some cookies yesterday and I know if I take one in to work to eat after my lunch I will be asked why I haven't brought in enough for everyone. There is a weird thing at my work where everyone assumes if you bake, you will bring it all in to work. It's so annoying!!!!

Do some baking - flapjacks or biscuits are pretty low cost or buy multipack choc ices in summer. You get to join in but without the high costs.

If you've been eating the food so far, I think you might have to do it once, but then, opt out and make sure people know you have opted out.

Can you bake? I’d be tempted to make a few cakes once a month or some flapjacks or breakfast bars. That wouldn’t cost too much depending on the type of cakes and people might appreciate the extra effort.

Don't invent a food allergy; I have one and things like this people go to extra expense and lengths to include something gluten free for me, so you'd end up in more of a pickle!

You do need to ask and find out what the expectation is. If it were me I'd happily bake once a month, but you might not want that.

All these people saying how the op can do it cheaply,if she joins in they will still wonder why she’s not eating what they bring in.
That would be enough to put me of a job..but I’m very fussy about my food being touched and I’m vegan,and I hate having to explain im vegan,so I’d be really upset by this.

I'd hate that. We take cakes on birthdays but that's it. Just say you're not happy to do it but you must make sure not to eat anything anyone else takes, even when It's offered.

I'd hate this (and then partake, and then gain weight). I agree with "Sounds lovely but I can't afford it".

I'd definitely opt out, honestly, to coin a MN phrase I'd say it wouldn't work for me.

Our office has free fruit drinks and snacks etc and I don't even take those. I just prefer choosing my own lunches (and breakfast in a 9-5 office should be banned in general slurp slurp cornflake clinkers I'm looking at you )

Firstly, establish rules of the game.

Try doughnuts.
Cheap, cheerful & absolutely no nutritional value
Either from your local bakery or pre-order from Krispy Kreme/Tesco for fancy festive topping.

Present on a nice plate/tray.
Enough for two per person.
Make it your ‘thing’ & people will look forward to your turn.

It will also squash any interest in what you eat.

www.krispykreme.co.uk/buy-online/doughnuts

Just don't join in. I hate these group expectations of behaviour. If anyone notices, smile sweetly and say 'it's just not my thing'. Don't offer any more explanation.

3 times a week is a lot! I've been in teams where there is a weekly cake rota - buying cake about once every 2-3 months. One group had a team meal once a month, which was a ball ache when it was your turn, but it was about once a year.

Either way, take part or don't eat anything, nothing worse than someone who's happy to take but won't contribute.

This would annoy me too. I’m all for bringing in a bit of cake now and then, but buying a meal for everyone seems extreme!

I would just refuse to participate. Be polite about it but just say something like ‘that’s so kind but I prefer to sort out my own food - thanks so much for the offer though’. It might feel awkward the first couple of times but then it will just become normal!

Yeah, three times a week is too much.

I only ever worked in one place where there was a real communal troughing as I called it. I do not have a sweet tooth and it was always cakes, chocolate and biscuits. I always felt people did it as an excuse to eat crap because if all together they felt less guilty about it.

Birthday cake is fine, I even bought 50 cornettos in a heatwave one year as my birthday is high summer. But all the time? Two of my sisters are diabetic they would just not be able to partake.

You either lie about allergies
Join in
Tell them your not joining in

Good luck.

It's not once a month it seems to be at least twice a week for breakfast and once a week for lunch

But if there are twenty people taking turns, and it only happens three times a week, then it's only your turn, every seven weeks. And you can likely do a breakfast of croissants etc for less than a tenner.

As such it's a tenner every couple of months, which is about a pound a week, and for that pound you get three meals, two breakfast and a lunch.

Just don't do it.

When at work I don't make drinks either and I never ask them to make or expect them to make me one. We all just get on with day.

As such it's a tenner every couple of months, which is about a pound a week, and for that pound you get three meals, two breakfast and a lunch
This sounds good but it only works if you like and want to eat the food on offer and the OP doesn’t.