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Original poster

To not want to bring in food for the whole office

148 replies

bankholiday2 · 06/05/2019 21:24

Name changed for this as I think I'm probably being silly and stingy.

I have been working for the same organisation for about 5 years. I have recently moved departments and the culture in the new team is to take it in turns buying in food for everyone. This seems to sometimes be breakfast, sometimes lunch.

The problem is, they spend a lot of money! Someone bought in Greggs breakfast last Friday, spending over £30. I saw the receipt by chance. A few days before someone had ordered several pizzas to be shared between approx 20 people.

I really don't want to have to start buying food for the whole team. I don't have much spare cash. I always pre-prepare my own lunches etc to save £.

What can I do? This is new to me. I don't want to seem unfriendly by refusing their kind offerings, but I don't want to eat it and not return the favour. It's very awkward!

OP posts:
managedmis · 07/05/2019 02:00

Say you're coeliac or gluten intolerant

emmeline333 · 07/05/2019 03:39

Have you been eating what's brought in?

SavvyBlancBlonde · 07/05/2019 04:20

Like Emmeline333 has asked - have you participated and eaten because they might take that as an opt in

Happynow001 · 07/05/2019 04:34

the culture in the new team is to take it in turns buying in food for everyone. This seems to sometimes be breakfast, sometimes lunch.
How odd. I've never seen or heard this over decades of working. Do opt out at your earliest opportunity. If you don't want just to say "no thanks" then just say you are a picky eater or have a complicated diet. However you might occasionally want to bring in cakes/biscuits/chocolates OCCASIONALLY depending on your budget. LIDL/ALDI/ASDA etc. for these. Good luck!

YemenRoadYemen · 07/05/2019 04:42

Why don't you make something? It's pretty cheap to make a cake/biscuits

But it is time consuming.

I bake regularly, and yes a batch of biscuits are cheap - but I'd bloody resent having to bake every other week, to take it into work.

floribunda18 · 07/05/2019 04:46

It sounds like a recipe for obesity and heart failure. I would opt out and just bring and eat my own food.

floribunda18 · 07/05/2019 04:48

Also why can't adults survive without a pile of Greggs' pastries, cakes or other treats every week at work? I'd be the size of a house working there.

Blondebakingmumma · 07/05/2019 05:02

If there are around 20 of you and there are 3x per week food brought in, that means you would have to contribute every 7 weeks. I don’t think that’s too much of a hassle. So around 7 times a year.
Does sound like a lot of bother, but I like to be included in things so I’d suck it up and participate.

I’d make a list of cheap, with not too much hassle ideas. Maybe home made BLT, breakfast burritos, croissants with ham and cheese, pavlovas, biscuits

pantsville · 07/05/2019 05:11

No point playing guessing games or thinking up fake excuses. Ask a friendly person to explain the arrangement regarding bringing in food to share. You can then explain you think it's a lovely idea but you're on a tight budget at the moment so please don't be offended if you don't join in for the time being.

I'm sure there will be one of two others that don't participate as well, there always are.

floribunda18 · 07/05/2019 05:15

Fuck that. Employers should be asking themselves why is the job so rubbish that people have to routinely comfort eat at work. Why can't people just provide their own meals? If I'd shared any food already I'd bring something in once and then say I was opting out as I want to eat more healthily.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/05/2019 05:31

Have you been eating the food?

If you've been eating it, then I think you need to reciprocate. If you haven't then just opt out and say it's not your thing.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/05/2019 05:35

Also, you won't be ostracised. My co-workers go out drinking and for meals, but I don't attend as I'm a single mum. It's absolutely fine. I also don't sit with them in the work canteen as I often pop out for lunch. They probably all think I'm a bit anti-social, but I work hard and get on with everyone. It certainly doesn't affect my work relationships with them.

echt · 07/05/2019 05:35

Opt out. When I see some of heinous shit my colleagues eat, I'd be very pissed off to be tied down to such a frankly bizarre arrangement.

pantsville · 07/05/2019 05:54

Exactly, athough the suggestions of what you could bring are all really good and well meaning, you're clear that you don't want to participate so unless someone suggests a cake personalised with the message "I don't want to buy you all food", it's not helpful.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 07/05/2019 06:14

Yikes, this sort of thing makes me so grateful that I work from home! Quite apart from the fact that I just don't want to eat Greggs and pizza regularly (my metabolism cannot deal with it) I hate the assumption of conformity that goes along with it. People telling you to make cheap things out of white carbs are completely missing the point! Just say "I'm going to opt out of the food buying thing. I just prefer to choose my own food". You don't need to explain. You're not odd.

Dyrne · 07/05/2019 06:16

pantsville I agree that the OP should just opt out if she doesn’t want to do it; but I also think some of the suggestions given by PP to give an excuse of “eating healthily” risk her being marked out as a bit of a knob. There are ways of backing out without passing judgement on all of her colleagues.

The best way is honesty, OP, have a quiet word with your line manager and explain that you won’t be participating due to tight finances. Doesn’t need to be a big thing. If you make up a food allergy you risk being in the awkward position of having to remember it and possibly even someone taking it upon themselves to be nice and bring something in especially for you to cater to the ‘allergy’!

ShinyShoe · 07/05/2019 06:23

I’d hate this! Pizza!! No way. I’d not eat things other people have purchased. I have to be really really careful about what I eat. I can’t even eat toast due to medication. Just say that you’re allergic to gluten and have IBS so you have to be very careful about diet or it makes you very poorly so you are very sorry but you won’t be able to join in (say it with a sad face)

feistymumma · 07/05/2019 06:25

That is really weird, I would be honest and tell them that I would love to participate but i cannot until my finances improve and that for fairness I would not be eating any food brought in. Honesty is the best policy. At my workplace there is a team lunch every Wednesday and I only go if I feel like it.

Mummadeeze · 07/05/2019 06:31

Poor you. I would hate this too. I have a fruit smoothie for breakfast and wouldn’t want anything else so it would be a nightmare. I have allergies as an excuse though. We used to do a semi regular thing where we all ate breakfast together as a team away from our desks but we brought our own. Much more sensible! I would be honest but don’t eat there contributions. You can’t have it both ways.

1frenchfoodie · 07/05/2019 06:32

If it is 3x a week you’ll only need to do every 6 weeks given you are 20 or so and can easily do it more cheaply and healthily than a £30 greggs breakfast. It would annoy me as I eat breakfast with my daughter at home and bring lunch in but in terms of office problems I can think of worse ones. Maybe speak to your line manager about it being a bit less frequent though - surely weekly is enough!

hidinginthenightgarden · 07/05/2019 06:35

Any chance you have a Costco membership or know someone who does?
Pastries are really cheap. You could get a box of croissants and some scones for £20. They are a very genrous size!

OVAgroundWOMBlingfree · 07/05/2019 06:35

Oh god situations like this always fall apart/lead to resentments/involve gossip.

We had something similar at my workplace, however we all work various shifts, so it never really evened out. A kitty was trialled but again because of us all bouncing around on different shifts it was never even. It led to lots of resentment and eventually someone higher up called an end to it all.
I didn’t really get involved (although bought an occasional pizza if we’d had a hard shift) because I could see some people were over invested in it and just seemed weird.

Now people will bring in cakes or sweets for their birthday/coming back from holiday/major life event/leaving work etc. but that’s through kindness and never expected and I’ve never heard anyone comment on someone not doing it.

OP I think you have to ask someone what the deal is. “I noticed this is a regular occurrence, what’s the etiquette or rules?”
Only then can you decide where you stand.

AngelsOnHigh · 07/05/2019 06:37

When I worked in banking we had about 10 staff members. Every Friday we had a staff meeting before opening hours.

It worked out that we had to bring "morning Tea"about once every 10 weeks.

Some people came in with a fruit platter, some with homemade Simosas (yummy). All different things. Some healthy, some not so healthy

It was actually a really nice moral booster to end the week on..

AntiHop · 07/05/2019 06:41

That would really piss me off. I'd be tempted to overeat with food being constantly in the office. And I like to be in control of what I eat.

Agree with pp to ask how often before making a decision how to handle it.

gamerwidow · 07/05/2019 06:41

I think it’s fine not to join in as long as you don’t eat what other people have bought in otherwise it’s taking advantage.
Just tell them you have a special diet and don’t want to join in. Don’t mention money because it looks mean imo.

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