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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was in the wrong? DH thinks so

122 replies

StickyBlisteredAnus · 06/05/2019 14:46

My hearing is going and has been slowly getting worse past few years. I just tried to run a bath and something is wrong with the boiler. DH was trying to fix it and then suddenly started shouting. I shouted back to repeat what he’d said as I couldn’t hear him. He shouted again and so I shouted back that I couldn’t hear him. He then shouted “shut up! I’m not talking to you!”

So turns out he was shouting at the dog but I didn’t know that!! Now I’m mad at him for telling me to shut up, he’s mad at me for calling him a bossy purple and he says I was making the dog misbehave by shouting!!! I was in the bathroom, nowhere near the dog.

AIBU to think he didn’t need to get mad over a mishearing?

OP posts:
Singlebutmarried · 06/05/2019 14:49

What’s a bossy purple? Sounds like a great insult.

Chamomileteaplease · 06/05/2019 14:50

But it wasn't so much a mishearing, more that he was probably stressed trying to fix the boiler then the dog started barking, then you started shouting and he just had had enough!

Unless he is usually horrible, I would let this lie.

LagunaBubbles · 06/05/2019 14:50

Did you call him a bossy purple"?

FreshAprilStart · 06/05/2019 14:50

Maybe you're a silly strawberry Wink

PurpleFlower1983 · 06/05/2019 14:50

Let it go.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 06/05/2019 14:53

Tell him not to shout at the dog either.

bridgetreilly · 06/05/2019 14:53

Neither of you needed to get cross in this situation.

Mrsjayy · 06/05/2019 14:53

A bossy purple though Grin

Sounds like conversations in our house Dh will not go and get a hearing test it is very friustrating because he hears parts of conversations! Op just put it down to a misunderstanding and stress about the boiler

Coolegary1 · 06/05/2019 14:56

Not something I would be angry or upset about TBH.
Have you ever lived with someone who is hard of hearing. I have and it's so frustrating having to shout and repeat conversations and like your scenario, having to explain 'no I wasn't talking to you'.

EvaHarknessRose · 06/05/2019 14:56

If someone doesn’t respond the first time you call, as there is a hearing issue, I would get in the habit of going to them rather than shout again (even if its a pain, you’re in the bath etc) as otherwise its going to cause frustrations and misunderstandings like this.

Skiptheskip · 06/05/2019 14:58

Maybe given that your hearing is at fault, you should have tried walking downstairs to see what was going on rather than shouting at him from the bathroom.

Between you bellowing and the dog misbehaving while he was trying to fix the boiler I’m not surprised he lost his rag and told you to shut up.

Bunnybigears · 06/05/2019 14:58

This happens in my house quite a lot. I am deaf in one ear so will vaguely hear someone shouting something so I will shout "what?" Then I hear something again but can make it out so I shout "what?" Repeat numerous time until someone comes into the room I am in and says "will you shut up I'm not talking to you!" It doesnt bother me but then as a family we tell each other to 'shut up' 'go away' etc and it isn't taken personally it's just how we talk to each other. Same way we will have a shouted conversation from one room to another which some people find really rude.

mummyhaschangedhername · 06/05/2019 14:59

I'm very hard of hearing, I have hearing aids which I don't always use (hearing aids don't fix your hearing like glasses correct sight), we have SO many conversations like this in our house. 😂 it's frustrating for both of us. Before someone says well I should wear my hears aids all the time 1. I currently am wearing one 2. This was a perfect example of why they don't help, the noise of the water would have over powered the other sounds and the situation would have been more frustrating.

Honestly, I get why your upset, I also get why he was frustrated, just have a laugh about it. Poor hearing sucks, sorry your losing yours too.

Original poster
StickyBlisteredAnus · 06/05/2019 15:00

Well I was frustrated too, the boiler has been playing up for over s month and he refuses to accept that there is anything wrong with it! I was sat in a Luke warm bath yet again trying to ease my back pain. Not had a decent bath for weeks

OP posts:
TheCrowFromBelow · 06/05/2019 15:06

Why don’t you call a heating engineer to fix the boiler if it’s been playing up for that long?

ShirleyPhallus · 06/05/2019 15:07

What’s a bad purple??

Beeziekn33ze · 06/05/2019 15:10

Like an blustering blue but a bit worse!

Missingstreetlife · 06/05/2019 15:10

I don't answer shouting from another room, come and find me. At least shout my name first and wait for acknowledgement, so you know I'm listening gggrrr

Original poster
StickyBlisteredAnus · 06/05/2019 15:12

He won’t get the boiler bloke here cos he doesn’t want to pay for it.
I suppose I’ve been in denial about my hearing 😢

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 06/05/2019 15:12

I need to know what a bossy purple is!!

adaline · 06/05/2019 15:12

If the boiler has been playing up for a month, why haven't you arranged for someone to come around and fix it?

It's as much your job as it is his.

Original poster
StickyBlisteredAnus · 06/05/2019 15:14

Because he won’t let me

OP posts:
Original poster
StickyBlisteredAnus · 06/05/2019 15:15

Hence the bossy purple

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 06/05/2019 15:16

Being a skinflint is irriating he should just get it looked at . Boots do free hearing tests go get yourself tested.

Samind · 06/05/2019 15:17

I'm here for the bossy purple meaning too