I know IANBU. At what age would you allow your DD to wear a strapless top?

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Like this one. DD is 11 and thinks IABU.

I don't believe that is the reason at all OP. If it was you would have said it right from the start. You simply said you have vetoed it because she is too young. Then you didn't get the mass agreement you expected so turned it round to be about practicality. If it was that alone you wouldn't even have made a thread, you would have said no to your DD because he too is not suited to her activities.

You said it was about her age not her lifestyle.

You specifically said ‘what happens when girls wear skimpy clothes’. What exactly does happen then?

They will be leered at, obviously. You are very cynical indeed if thought I was suggesting rape.

I thought I had. It's not an appropriate piece of clothing for a child who still spends a large part of her free time hopscotching, messing around on bikes, trampolining etc.

But what would the addition of thin straps do to make it more appropriate?

*the top is not suited.

Why bother posting op as clearly you were never going to change your opinion????

AlaskanOilBaron both require the men concerned to change their behaviour, because it is wrong. And girls need to know that it is wrong, from an early age.

Jesus the amount of women on here enabling men to get away with this behaviour and putting the onus on their daughters not to attract it is disgusting.

Her age pretty much determines her "lifestyle". And I would like her to continue to act her age, not walk around carefully so she doesn't dislodge her top.

I think my thread title gave a clue that I wasn't going to change my mind, but the replies have been interesting. I am surprised that so many people think it's just a top.

Her age pretty much determines her "lifestyle". And I would like her to continue to act her age, not walk around carefully so she doesn't dislodge her top

As has been mentioned, by age 11 most girls have different clothes they wear to play in, go out for dinner in, go shopping in, go to a birthday party in, etc. Just like adults do.

Not really that much here tbh. Rural Cornwall. It's 95% jeans and hoodies.

No I wouldn’t let my eleven year old daughters have worn it outside the house. The manufacturers intention is to sexualise and that’s not appropriate for an eleven year old child.

Lisbon, I really don't understand your argument. Of course men need to change. Of course women are free to where whatever they want.

Wouldn't you want to spare a pre-pubescent girl the reality of what happens when she wears something suggestive in the interim?

You think that girls not changing their behaviour is a good stand against this kind of behaviour, and I agree with you, but the mother in me wouldn't think that particular goal was worth any child of mine having to deal with whistling or catcalls at 11. No way.

AlaskanOilBaron you think clothing affects the behaviour of perverts?

Ok, fair enough. I'm a terrible mother exposing my daughters to danger because I won't force them to change their clothing or behaviour in order to avoid behaviour which is disgusting.

The irony is my eldest DSD spends her life in jeans and oversized hoodies. But because she wants to, not because she has to because of perverts.

I wouldn't put an 11 year old in a push up bra and crotchless pants, because that would be unsuitable for their age.

A vest without straps? Don't really see what the fuss is about tbh.

AlaskanOilBaron you think clothing affects the behaviour of perverts?

I can see here that you're continuing to advance this idea that I think that clothing invites rape. I don't think that clothing affects rape in any way, rapists rape regardless.

It absolutely affects catcalling. You'd have to be pretty naive to think it doesn't.

Wouldn't you want to spare a pre-pubescent girl the reality of what happens when she wears something suggestive in the interim?

11 year old girls can’t wear anything ‘suggestive’. What exactly are they suggesting? Any man who thinks young girls showing their bare shoulders is ‘suggestive’ is a paedophile. And I don’t think paedophiles care much what their victims wear.

Op I grew up in rural Cornwall and have lived and worked in the county too. The sartorial choices of teens are similar to anywhere else in the country. What 13yo wear down gear my 13yo dn wears in London

The manufacturers intention is to sexualise and that’s not appropriate for an eleven year old child

Perhaps you could explain what part of this top sexualises anyone?

It absolutely affects catcalling. You'd have to be pretty naive to think it doesn't

Fair enough. My daughters know that such behaviour is disgusting and are quite happy to either clap back (eldest DSD) or ignore it (youngest DSD). DD is 5 so if anyone cat called her I'd be getting arrested for GBH but I hope she'll have the same ability as her sisters.

It absolutely affects catcalling. You'd have to be pretty naive to think it doesn't.

Paedophilia is what makes men behave like that towards children. Not what the child is wearing.

I should say I'm not choosing their clothes for them, I'm letting them choose their own clothes. Just paying for them!

My daughter started getting unwanted attention from men old enough to be her grandad, once she hit puberty. It didn't matter if she was in school uniform, baggy tops or high fashion.
How I wished for a flame thrower back then.

My 12 year old snuck one in after a shopping trip with friends...I was not amused!! She keeps it for sunbathing in the garden!

I think it's more appropriate at 11 than at 21. It's leisure wear anyway and only for v hot weather in a relaxed environment. It's not exactly for shopping and I imagine she isn't clubbing yet. Actually by 12/13 my dd needed a FF cup and couldn't have worn it anyway.

If she's in the company of girls or adults I don't see the problem. If she's around immature boys, they can be dicks and pull it down for a laugh. Straps are safer no matter how thin.

That top isn’t going to stop her hopscotching, playing on a trampoline or mess around on a bike OP. Wearing a full face of makeup won’t stop her do any of that either.

Jesus the amount of women on here enabling men to get away with this behaviour and putting the onus on their daughters not to attract it is disgusting.

Yep. It’s this attitude displayed by both sexes that contributes to the world being an unsafe place for our daughters.