I know IANBU. At what age would you allow your DD to wear a strapless top?

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Like this one. DD is 11 and thinks IABU.

I wouldn't let my DS wear a vest outside in summer, it's nothing to do with boys or girls.

tried to explain about unwanted male attention

Setting her up to blame herself if she ever encounters an asshole, excellent parenting

I think they look absolutely ridiculous on young girls. But that's not a good reason for her not to wear it if she likes it. She's probably going to want to wear a lot of stuff that you think looks ridiculous. I don't really see what the problem is. It's just her shoulders that are bare, it's not showing cleavage.

I can't imagine that top would stay up on a young girls with no boobs. I'd talk my daughter out of it on those grounds. She's always doing cartwheels and bouncing around, so it wouldn't be practical.

I really don't like crop tops on young girls either. My daughter can wear them for dance or running, but at 10 she's just a bit young to be wearing them anything else.

I wouldn't allow it either OP. From 14ish maybe.

@ourkidmolly you’re the one doing the sexualising though. It’s just a top, same as a t-shirt, vest top or shirt. I can’t see an 11 year old being restricted in anything someone of that age would want to do by wearing this top. This top is marketted at girls, granted, but there’s no reason why a boy couldn’t wear it.

I'd let my daughter wear that at any age its a top.

Are you abroad OP? Admittedly we've been stood outside watching DC hurtle about but we've just relented and lit the woodburner!

DD, nearly 12 is flat chested, modest and v active. Sporty vests with open backs for her, but most definitely strapped. That style would definitely go wrong for her for quite some time.

@Skiptheskip

I agree, looks awful.

Nothing to do with sexualising, it just doesn’t look good IMO.

I don't think it's a nice top at all, but I don't think it's necessarily inappropriate for an 11 year old either. Perhaps it's better suited for a holiday or really hot summer days.

I’m sure there’s plenty of clothes that you might choose that I would think look awful @yabbers. Should you stop wearing them immediately because I think they look crap?

My dd is just 12 and although it's unlikely that she'd choose to wear something like this and I personally hate it, I wouldn't veto it.

If as you say it's a few quid in New Look it will either ruin in the wash or not stay up properly or be really itchy and uncomfortable.

I'd let her buy it and hope that she discovers this for herself!

I've had this conversation with her over inappropriate tops and tried to explain about unwanted male attention.

Wow. It is definitely not our daughters we need to have this conversation with. If more women had this conversation with their sons, the world might be a much safer place for our daughters.

The top is fine. It’s not to my personal taste and I would worry about sunburn but nothing else bothers me about it.

Wow. It is definitely not our daughters we need to have this conversation with. If more women had this conversation with their sons, the world might be a much safer place for our daughters.

Yeah sure. We should never tell girls about the reality of what happens when wearing skimpy clothes, just let them find out themselves - perfect.

Who said anything about not having this conversation with their sons? Pretty sure you can do both.

I think the main problems with it are will it stay up? Will it stop her doing things, like will she not want to run around in it because it might fall down or not stay in place. Shell be constantly having to adjust it. Straps would make a difference because they would hold it in place

Also a lot of exposed skin to burn, so she's need something on top of it

It's basically not a very practical top and could restrict what she can do. I don't like children's clothes that prevent them doing things.

Having said that it's £3 she'll probably wear it once and realise it's really fucking annoying to have clothes that need constantly adjusting.

Not a major fan of the top looks wise. However, at the end of the day it's just a summer top. When you're a kid is the time when you can wear clothes that look a bit silly, or don't completely go together. Let kids be kids!

Yabu. Would you allow it if it had clear plastic straps holding it in place? Think I had a top like that at age when they were in fashion first time around. Didn’t wear it an awful lot but did in the summer

I don't agree it's "just a top" like a t shirt. Culturally there are plenty of places where bare shoulders are not usually deemed acceptable. I wouldn't go to work in a strapless top for example.

I think there is a thing about age appropriate clothes for boys and girls which isn't about either sexualising them or about getting unwanted attention.

It's about clothes appropriate to children and what children do - playing. 11 is still very much a child.

Yeah sure. We should never tell girls about the reality of what happens when wearing skimpy clothes, just let them find out themselves - perfect.

Victim blaming much? So girls shouldn’t have the freedom of wearing what they want? Girls do NOT get leered at/assaulted/raped because they’re wearing ‘skimpy’ clothes!!!!

They aren't the most practical items of clothing, I can't imagine my daughter running around the park, bouncing on a trampoline or hiking on the moors in one without it being a complete pain in the butt. Maybe better suited for a day at the beach if she really desperately wanted one, even though I'm not personally keen on how they look.

Ok so it's not practical for play, not sure why that means it needs an age limit?

My DC have always had clothes that were more suited to play or to going out for dinner or for a day out shopping.

I wouldn't have allowed it at 11. She wouldn't be able to be active in it. Girls are under such pressure to grow up quickly....

My dd is about the same age, in yr6. I agree. Fine for holiday in the sun perhaps. Straps do make a difference as a child at this age is very much playing. And I deffo wouldn’t be ok with dd wearing the cropped version. I am not a cool mum obvs.

Victim blaming much? So girls shouldn’t have the freedom of wearing what they want? Girls do NOT get leered at/assaulted/raped because they’re wearing ‘skimpy’ clothes!!!

You've entirely misrepresented my post, but I expect you do that as a matter of course.

Any age- what's the problem?