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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for hilariously crap excuses you’ve been given?

275 replies

MatildaTheCat · 03/05/2019 18:54

I will start with one I recently received.

I have an old school friend who I have very sporadic contact with via email. When I contacted her for a catch up recently I made some reference to ‘we must get together some time,’ as you do.

She emailed me back a few days later with her news but added that she couldn’t commit to getting together this year because last year a pipe in her (adult) daughter’s bedroom had leaked and she needed to decorate her room. She doesn’t have a job or any dependent children just to be clear. Hmm

If she’d ignored that comment although or said she was up to her eyes in it OR even said ‘not really into meeting up’ I wouldn’t have cared at all.

It made me laugh anyway. So what totally silly excuses have you been offered?

OP posts:
kittens876 · 04/05/2019 18:49

I was on a train that had stopped at Bristol temple meads once and they Cancelled it because the driver had just got off and left! Makes a change from leaves on the track I suppose...

JaretsGirlfren · 04/05/2019 18:54

When DD had her birthday party (either third or fourth I can’t remember) I invited a little boy who she played with at some activity groups, I got the distinct impression that his mum was too good for us in her opinion but as DD wanted him there I sent an invite.

I got a text back from his mother letting me know that he couldn’t come because it was her birthday the week after?!

LittleAndOften · 04/05/2019 18:55

Arrangement to meet longstanding 'friend' (who always cancels) at 6pm.

At 10am message comes through, she's feeling really unwell.

At 3pm another message - she's feeling fine now, no idea what the morning was all about and will come as she doesn't want to let me down.

At 5pm another message - feeling unwell/headache/thinks she might be about to come 'on' so cancelling again.

That was the 5th cancellation out of 5 times. She is now an ex-friend and my life is better for it!

RLABC · 04/05/2019 19:02

Many years back I worked in a pub full time and had to do every Saturday night and Sunday lunch shifts. One (many) Saturday there was a gig on that I really wanted to go to so I called in sick stating that I'd twisted my ankle and couldn't walk on it. This covered me for the Saturday night and the Sunday lunch (hangover time!) To make it seem believable when I went to work for the next 3 days I'd put a small stone in my shoe (the correct foot) so that I walked with a pronounced limp!
Yes, I know, I'm a genius! Grin

RLABC · 04/05/2019 19:04

I forgot to add that I used this excuse quite a few times. Dodgy ankle you know......... Wink

Charitybeginsathome · 04/05/2019 19:07

A colleague I was working nights with ( just 2 of us in a residential unit ) couldn't carry out his share of tasks because" he was on his phone to a friend arranging a threesome " That's ok then .

Figureitout1 · 04/05/2019 19:10

My dad didn’t come to my graduation because he didn’t want to use up his annual leave — took me 8 years to finish med school, had 2kids and left a very abusive partner, making me a single parent, during that 8 years - so it was a HUGE deal that I’d finally got to the end.

Fallulah · 04/05/2019 19:15

The last thing I heard from a man who ghosted me...

I’ll be right there; just need to turn the oven off.

ilikemethewayiam · 04/05/2019 19:20

I pulled up a young employee one morning on why she was an hour late for work......AGAIN! She said she had attempted to get in on time but as it was a really windy day she had attempted the 200 yard walk up the road to our building several times but every time she nearly got to the door she got blown all the way back to the bottom of the road again!!! 😂😂

Sara107 · 04/05/2019 19:20

DH’s cousin, wife + kids were invited to our wedding. Didn’t rsvp, didn’t turn up. Sent a (tiny) gift with cousins Mum, and the excuse that they had builders doing some work (on Saturday? And the chaos was so severe for the previous 2 months that they were unable to phone/email/ dash off a note to say no thanks?)

Thisnamechanger · 04/05/2019 19:22

*Cattenberg

A colleague’s reason for being late was that one of the hamsters had been having a lie-in, and she’d had to wait for him to get up before she could change his bedding*

I would even be mad.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2019 19:35

Most of these excuses sound so childlike. Rather like dd, who I will have asked 5 times to do something simple like brush her teeth or fill her water bottle and will get indignant when I ask her a 6th time because she’s busy brushing her hair and can’t do 2 things at once.... And I’m soooo bossy.

maddiemookins16mum · 04/05/2019 19:39

Young lass at work phoned in to say she couldn’t make it in. It was raining and her brolly was broken.

IrisAtwood · 04/05/2019 19:49

A guy a friend worked with couldn’t get to work because he’d cut his hand and the bandage meant he couldn’t get his hand in his pocket to find the change.

The same man missed work one day because his wife was upset that she was pregnant.......Then he missed the next day because she was upset that she wasn’t pregnant.

My parents insisted that after our one night of honeymoon we get back at 9am to pick up our 3 year old DS because they had to see my sister. She lived a couple of miles away and had been at the wedding the day before. Anytime we asked them to babysit they couldn’t because they ‘had the dog.’

reluctantjogger · 04/05/2019 19:58

Threw a summer garden party. A pregnant friend said she couldn't come because she couldn't be near soil during pregnancy. A friend with a toddler said she couldn't come because it would be "drafty" for the child.

ilikemethewayiam · 04/05/2019 20:05

@cattenberg 😂😂😂

Pinktruffle · 04/05/2019 20:25

My friendship group is a tight knit group of 5. We don't get to see each other often because we are all dotted around the country. We arranged a weekend together and everyone was coming to stay at my flat, one friend rang me on the day and said she couldn't come because it was her day to do the vacuuming

olbndansmummy · 04/05/2019 20:30

A man my friend was supposed to interview at 11 am rang at 10.55 to say the cat had shit in his interview shoes 😅and he didn't own another pair! And this was for a primary school too.

GabsAlot · 04/05/2019 20:54

tbf i only have one pair of good shoes would try and scoop it out though

my fave has got to be jls have split up!

thingswillgetbettersoon · 04/05/2019 21:09

@Tigerbandage I think we might share the same sister 😂😂. Even down to the NC now. Final straw was her notifying us an hour before she wasn't coming to DD's 18th. DD suffers from MH problems so family coming was very important to her and it really upset her. That was final straw as there was no excuse offered

BigButtons · 04/05/2019 21:16

Years ago a bloke bought a pool table off me on eBay. He tried to cancel after a couple of weeks of not collecting.
He said his girlfriend was in a coma in hospital and therefore they couldn’t use it.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 04/05/2019 21:30

A colleague once called in sick to me telling me that he'd eaten a crumpet with mould growing on it and as he was allergic to penicillin it had made him very Ill. No idea if that's a real thing or not. At the time I didn't believe him.

I was late for college once and told the teacher it was because the decorator at our house had fallen off his ladder and broken his leg. When I got home the decorator had fallen off his ladder and broken his leg.
I've never given a made up excuse since!

stickerqueen · 04/05/2019 21:38

My friend couldn't come to my wedding because her budgie would be lonely she works so the budgie is left when she's at work and the wedding was local.

tiredmummy1991 · 04/05/2019 21:40

My sister didn't come to my wedding and only let me know the day before and her excuse was that she had been made redundant and had only found out that day, that day was also her birthday and she wasn't working.

TFBundy · 04/05/2019 21:52

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