Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost all respect for PIL

138 replies

stressedandwhat · 02/05/2019 22:51

Please help I really don't know whether I am being over the top about this. Sorry it's so long...

I am 6 months pregnant so maybe hormones are having an impact on this I don't know.

I have been with DP for 6 years. He is five years older than me. His parents are different to mine which is fine. They just have very different political beliefs. As I do to them. My family have always been very left wing. His family are quite strongly right wing. For example they are extremely pro brexit and openly disapproving about a lot of immigrants. I've always found this difficult to hear however I have tried to build relationships on the basis that they are DPs family and we are all entitled to our own views.

The problem comes from this.

I have recently found out that PIL grow weed in their home and sell it. Have been doing so for at least a few years. This has stressed me out but I do not know if I'm overreacting or not.

Their reasons for this is that they were making a loss on a few buy to let flats they have in a nearby town and were worried about their pension pot - I find this irritating as they aren't hard up and they aren't exactly on the breadline even if they aren't minted

They are cruel when they speak people on benefits but I find this hypocritical since they are essentially cheating the tax system

The problem is they have such a close relationship with BILs children and have helped with raising them loads but I just feel like I don't want them involved loads as I don't trust their judgment and I don't want my child exposed to risky environments.

Am I awful? I don't know please help Confused

OP posts:
JamieVardysHavingAParty · 03/05/2019 07:57

In their own house? It can't be very many plants, then!

Seriously, farming cannabis plants is very energy intensive. Since America legalised it in a couple of states,

A study by scientist Evan Mills, with the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, revealed that legalized indoor marijuana-growing operations account for 1% of total electricity use in the US, at a cost of $6bn per year.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/feb/27/marijuana-industry-huge-energy-footprint

It's clearly just a tomato plant on the windowsill. You can't grow cannabis in commercial quantities in your own living space and not have it infringe on your life.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 03/05/2019 08:05

Hold on so it was going to be ok for your children to spend lots of time with purple who are openly bigoted and racist, but now because they're breaching tax law (that seems to be your main issue with the drugs) it's not? In your position I wouldn't have wanted to be around them myself, let alone allow my children to spend time with them unsupervised, long before I found out about the weed.

KittyInTheCradle · 03/05/2019 08:06

Don't think weed is a big deal. Especially if it's only a little and selling to friends. Quite different to running a massive drug cartel!!!

The Brexit/anti-immigrant stuff would be the main negatives to me.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 03/05/2019 08:08

Also do you never go to their house? If they are growing to deal the minimum would be a loft/spare bedroom full of plants, lighting, hydroponics. It would reek.

Toooldtobearsed2 · 03/05/2019 08:15

Would you feel the same if they were left wing hippies?

Ask yourself that question first.

Also, dealing? For a decent pension pot they would need to be dealing a LOT!
Are you sure that was not delivered tongue in cheek? They have a coiple of plants and share with friends. When challenged they joke that this is their pension pot now that interest rates are so low.

Nothing else makes sense tbh

Ferii · 03/05/2019 08:18

I'd keep contact to a civil bare minimum. Their views and criminal actions aren't something you want your children to grow up thinking is normal. I think shopping them in to the police would do damage to your relationship with PIL and DH so I'd turn a blind eye but I know personally I would find this difficult - more because of their hypocrisy rather than any objection to weed.

nickyXjayno · 03/05/2019 08:24

I don't get how you're even question it.
I nor my child would go within a mile of that family if involved with drugs. Do you really want ss investigation you and potentially lose your kid if they think you're involved?!

riverislands · 03/05/2019 08:24

My kids wouldn't be going there. They will be known as dealers by teens everywhere.

DonkeyHohtay · 03/05/2019 08:26

Their reasons for this is that they were making a loss on a few buy to let flats they have in a nearby town and were worried about their pension pot

No, the reason they are dealing drugs is that they are lowlife scumbags with no morals.

PILs have lots of different ideas from us about lots of different things. Voting a different way isn't a crime, and although I disagree with them, they are fundamentally good people who are law-abiding.

EffYouSeeKaye · 03/05/2019 08:36

Aren’t you implicated if you know about this and don’t report it?

Noobcrumble · 03/05/2019 08:39

So they don’t like people who are legitimately receiving benefits...and they are illegally growing and selling drugs...you only THINK they are being hypocritical?? What vile individuals.

Hazlenutpie · 03/05/2019 08:40

🤐

Bookworm4 · 03/05/2019 08:41

All the horror struck mummies on this thread, how are you going to cope if cannabis is legalised? What if you or your DC needed it for a medical condition?
I think OP is taking this way too seriously; like a PP said it's probably a plant or two and they were winding her up. I'd be more concerned about their racist opinions.

nothinglikeadame · 03/05/2019 08:41

I'd just like to take this opportunity to say hello to any Reddit members out there..

Noobcrumble · 03/05/2019 08:50

Bookworm4 - you’re totally changing the context! legalising medical-grade cannabis for medical conditions would be supported by many, including myself. But that’s not what this thread is about - it’s not known if the PIL was winding the OP up, the quantities involved or who its being sold to! It’s hardly pearl clutching Hmm

rupple · 03/05/2019 08:54

Pot growing, oldy, righty, brexiteers. Grin

MadAboutWands · 03/05/2019 08:57

I would reduce contact, esp with the dcs.
Not because of the weed. After all, if they want to do something illegal or put themselves in danger that’s their issue.

But I couldnt stand either their political views, or the looking for a reaction or the hypocrisy.
You are never going to be confortable to leave your dcs with them or to spend time with them in a regular basis.
So why subjecting yourself to that and your dcs too? Your dcs will know about the tensions, even if they are never spoken. I know, I have been there and I was seeing said grand parents maybe once or twice in the year!! They won’t get anything from it bar some tense afternoon with people they are told they should ‘love’

MadAboutWands · 03/05/2019 08:59

Bookworn fwiw what makes cannabis good medicinally isn’t the same chemical that is making you high.
There are many different type of plants of cannabis and some of them hardly make you you high but are very potent as a medicine.

So basically, you can’t compare cannabis to get high and cannabis to get well

Langrish · 03/05/2019 09:02

Report them. In 12/13 years it will be your own child’s friends they’re selling to.

PeakedTooEarly · 03/05/2019 09:15

How different to the home life of our own dear Queen Grin

PeakedTooEarly · 03/05/2019 09:18

Ring the cops. Tell 'em it's a grow house.

Step back.
A long way back.

Espjerg should do it.

DarlingNikita · 03/05/2019 09:18

Well, they sound like xenophobic bigots but you can't convict someone of that.

However, they're growing weed illegally and I think the rule of law should be adhered to. I'd stop contact with them and make clear that it's either that, they stop doing it or you report them.

'pick your battles'. For heaven's sake. This isn't a MIL and PIL being possessive over a baby or calling their DIL fat. It's straight up breaking the law.

Mary1935 · 03/05/2019 09:23

Bloody hypocrites as it’s possible “immigrants” are buying the weed.
They sound like greedy bastards.
I’d report them to crime stoppers.
Which normal healthy family would think to start dealing to “supplement there pension pot” - I bet they are shady in other areas too.

Original poster
stressedandwhat · 03/05/2019 09:26

Yeah I agree with you all their views are horrendous it's one of those things where it's been an information drip and I only realised the full extent of how they are in the last year or so.

To answer about the house it's our in their garage which is very large so genuinely did not know I've never been in there.

It's a shame I suppose I envisaged a happy big family life but it's them that's done the damage not me. It's hard as even if they stop now it's always going to be in my head they've done it? It takes away some risk but it's morally a problem for me I suppose.

Thanks for all the replies it's helpful

OP posts:
Original poster
stressedandwhat · 03/05/2019 09:29

Mary1935

Greedy bastards is exactly how I feel about it. They are quite tight as people too always quibbling over spending money! They've done it to supplement lifestyle in my opinion rather than to keep food on the table. Not that there is ever an excuse but it makes it worse imo :(

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.