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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and mornings

115 replies

Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:23

DH is starting to annoy me in the mornings. He likes to have a bath and then moans he has missed the DCs breakfast and that he only sees them ten minutes a day (he doesn't he sees then evenings as well). Then he moans when we all want to use the bathroom too- saying it is like Piccadilly circus in here. The other moan today was about the coffee. I went and asked him a few weeks back, if he wanted a coffee as he seemed to rush after the bath out the door - but now it is all that I haven't warmed the coffee pot of used the right milk or something. Today he poured it out saying it was cold now Hmm

I usually just make instant for myself and that's Ok so it is a bit of a faff tbh. as doing the kids breakfasts and lunches etc. as well.

I was thinking, actually all this would be solved if he got up earlier to have his bath, then we could have more time in the bathroom and he could make his coffee how he likes it and join us for breakfast. And that he needs to stop moaning and blaming it on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:25

Most days, I don't even have a shower till after the school tun but don;t moan about that. (as the shower runs cold while bath is running).

OP posts:
FiremanKing · 02/05/2019 08:25

He sounds like a big man baby.

PillowTalker · 02/05/2019 08:25

Have you raised this with him?

Unchallenged behaviour only continues to happen

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:25

He never used to be like this before DCs.

OP posts:
jaseyraex · 02/05/2019 08:27

Why doesn't he just shower most days and have a long bath once a week if he's that bothered about missing time with the kids.
I also wouldn't bother making someone so ungrateful a cup of coffee every morning. He can make it himself or go without!

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:27

I will. He started with was it the green (semi) or blue milk I had used for the coffee today as he just has green with tea and I crossly told him I didn't know, he would have to do it himself.

OP posts:
SallyWD · 02/05/2019 08:27

He needs to take responsibility. Get up earlier. I have my shower at night because mornings are so hectic. I hate it when people moan about stuff that they could easily change.

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:28

Yes, i was trying to be kind by making the coffee and wish I hadn't now as it has turned into this thing! argh. He also likes the milk hot and it has to be in a certain cup as well!

OP posts:
justthecat · 02/05/2019 08:28

Very convenient he’s having a nice bath whilst you’re rushing round doing everything else. Tell him to bath at night and help you out in the mornings

Shoxfordian · 02/05/2019 08:29

Tell him you already have children and you don't need another manchild to deal with
Ffs

ShatnersWig · 02/05/2019 08:33

He also likes the milk hot and it has to be in a certain cup as well!

Fuck me. This is a grown man, not a four year old.

Seriously, how and why does anyone put up with this sort of shit home life? He's an arsehole.

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:34

I agree. It's odd that it never used to be like this before the DC. Is it something about having them that makes some men like this? Maybe how their dads were with their mum perhaps? he always said he'd never be like his dad was with his mum (getting cross over mismatched socks and the like) but it seems there are some similarities at times.

I won't tolerate it though and will bring it up next time. And stop making the blessed coffee. He sometimes makes me a coffee and I don't expect all that fuss. It's not a hotel.

OP posts:
BlindAssassin1 · 02/05/2019 08:35

Why's he having a bath in the morning? Baths are long time involved things, you can have a shower in 5 -10 mins. He needs to be pitching in in the mornings not wallowing in the tub, not moaning about his coffee and then he can see his DC. What a demanding ingrate of a big baby he is.

BlueCornishPixie · 02/05/2019 08:35

Look he's having a bath, why the fuck are you rushing round making a fancy coffee while he's relaxing? He's only late because he's using his mornings for leisure time not because he's actually busy.

Who has a bath in the morning? It's literally ridiculous. Use the bathroom as you please while he's in, don't make his coffee, don't facilitate him.

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:37

So, at the same time I had DC2 (10) making his sandwich and saying he didn't think was right amount of mayonnaise in it, so I was telling him to change it himself, and it like the same kind of thing! Like a child...but I am teaching them to do it themselves. And now DH needs that too! Argh.

OP posts:
Chilledout11 · 02/05/2019 08:37

Just say to him 'oh the luxury of having s bath while the wife does wall'

Oh I'm not in the humour for moaning today thanks- I've plenty to do

Just leave early so you don't have to listen to him

GummyGoddess · 02/05/2019 08:38

If he wasn't like it before children then he is probably doing it to get out of having to do anything while he relaxes in the bath. The moaning is just to make sure you think that he would help if he possibly could (even though he wouldn't).

MsSquiz · 02/05/2019 08:38

There's an easy way to not make his coffee wrong or for it to be cold when he wants it - let him make his own!!

Why are you pandering to him while he lounges in the bath and complains about everything yet participates zero in your family life each morning?

gokartdillydilly · 02/05/2019 08:39

You need to get a grip OP, and have it out with him (but not in the morning when you're both stressed). He must not be allowed to be a selfish bastard bathing in the mornings, and you must stop being a doormat complicit in his bad behaviour.

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:42

Yes I will just leave him to it, maybe i will claim the bath and tun a bubble bath and get the most fancy coffee and just lie in it in the morning!

And of course, he is working, you see, so it is excusable. Such a hard and stressful work, etc. Hmm. (I mean, it sounds it, but yes he could have an evening bath instead.)

OP posts:
bigbadbadger · 02/05/2019 08:42

Why on earth didn’t YOU pour the coffee away the second he starts moaning. I’d be sending dc into do their morning poo while he was in the bath too. Is he a massive spoiled baby upset that his servant has other priorities?

PsychoSyd · 02/05/2019 08:45

Hide the bath plug... Grin

Original poster
Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:46

Oh, we do just ignore it! It is a recent thing the coffee as usually just leave him to it.

I wasn't quite sure if it is usual to have such a fuss over coffee as I'm not really a big drinker of it. I also wonder sometimes if he might have OCD slightly as everything has to be a certain way. No excuse though, others need accommodated as well.

OP posts:
Runkle · 02/05/2019 08:48

Gosh, I bet you can't keep your hands off this man baby...

endofthelinefinally · 02/05/2019 08:48

He sounds exhausting.
I agree - he is a big, attention seeking man child.