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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH and mornings

115 replies

Home77 · 02/05/2019 08:23

DH is starting to annoy me in the mornings. He likes to have a bath and then moans he has missed the DCs breakfast and that he only sees them ten minutes a day (he doesn't he sees then evenings as well). Then he moans when we all want to use the bathroom too- saying it is like Piccadilly circus in here. The other moan today was about the coffee. I went and asked him a few weeks back, if he wanted a coffee as he seemed to rush after the bath out the door - but now it is all that I haven't warmed the coffee pot of used the right milk or something. Today he poured it out saying it was cold now

I usually just make instant for myself and that's Ok so it is a bit of a faff tbh. as doing the kids breakfasts and lunches etc. as well.

I was thinking, actually all this would be solved if he got up earlier to have his bath, then we could have more time in the bathroom and he could make his coffee how he likes it and join us for breakfast. And that he needs to stop moaning and blaming it on me.

OP posts:

SignedUpJust4This · 02/05/2019 15:06

Do what my DH does to me when I'm in the bath. Send every child and their mate in for a big steaming shit and get them to ask him to wipe their bums. Happens every single time I go for a bath.

gaelicgirl · 02/05/2019 16:00

I think tomorrow, YOU get in the bath. When he asks what you're doing, say oh I thought we'd swap this morning so you could spend more time with the kids - I'll be out in a bit, so I'll have a coffee in about 15minutes, thanks 😘

FiremanKing · 02/05/2019 16:04

I’d be dropping a plugged in hairdryer in the bath alongside him, but that’s just me, I’m a bit harsh.

lookingelsewhere · 02/05/2019 16:25

foreverhanging · 02/05/2019 16:31

Err he can have a shower and a cup of grow the fuck up?

Happynow001 · 02/05/2019 17:34

Err he can have a shower and a cup of grow the fuck up?
🤣🤣 I'm learning so much new stuff on MN!

Provincialbelle · 02/05/2019 17:40

Where do these utterly infantile men come from? Same place as the selfish and bullying MILs that turn up on these discussion boards a lot I guess. I mean, who raises these people? Where do they get their pathetic behaviour from?

GummyGoddess · 03/05/2019 01:23

Not about avoiding things with the children, but the things you have mentioned aren't part of the routine rush to get out of the house.

Ihatehashtags · 03/05/2019 01:29

He’s become lazy so he doesn’t have to deal with the kids.

Greeborising · 03/05/2019 01:33

Who the fuck got time to have a bath in the morning?!
Morning routine in our house is shit, shower, shave, coffee, croissant and GO!
Everyone is responsible for themselves.

bringincrazyback · 03/05/2019 12:27

I didn't think someone could possibly play the depression card on this thread, but lo and behold, it's happened.

Depression isn't a 'card'. It's a possibility when someone is acting like OP's DH, IMO. That's not an attempt to excuse his behaviour, merely an observation.

Original poster

Home77 · 04/05/2019 08:47

I'm not sure about depression tech, but it does get worse with stress. Not excusing it though. I do wonder about compulsions / OCD possibly traits anyway and this seems to be the case on other members of his family. He has had this bath every single day for at least 20 years so it is not a new thing..

OP posts:

PregnantSea · 04/05/2019 09:52

I do an awful lot of running around after my husband in the morning. Perhaps more than I should. But if there was even a hint of a moan from him about the way I've done anything he'd be dropped like a hot potato to sort himself out, and I'd start taking myself off into the back garden every morning for a leisurely breakfast with the cat in the sun (I live in a hot country). He always thanks me for things that I do for him.

I think it's perfectly fine for husband's and wives to do some running around after each other but there's got to be give and take and there's got to be appreciation and thanks. Sounds to me like your DH expects you to make everything happen in the morning and doesn't appreciate everything that you do. Time to stop doing things for him. Perhaps you will eventually get back to a point where you make him a coffee in the morning but that day will come when he sorts his attitude out and starts respecting all that you do for him and the kids, and starts pulling his weight.

Original poster

Home77 · 04/05/2019 15:33

He got back after a long days work yesterday and has a big tidy up before cooking a lovely curry for he and I. He's not just being lazy.

OP posts:

Ruru8thestars · 04/05/2019 20:36

But that is basic stuff that he should be doing - he lives there and he eats.

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