AIBU to want to reply to a former friend who sent an upsetting birthday card to my son

[Mikki77]

So had a friend who's become more selfish and bitter with age. I'm 49 she's 54. I'm married with children, she's single and living the life. She's always out on the town and hosting dinner parties - which I'm never invited to. Any sign of a problem in her life and she's straight over. We feed her and build her up and support her as much as we can, and have been happy to do so. In the last year I lost to very close friends and we haven't seen her for dust. Then she hurt her knee when skiing and hinted that she wanted to move in and wanted us to look after her. Considering we hadn't seen her for months I thought it was a bit of a cheek. In the end we met up and thrashed out our grievances. I invited her over for dinner, she said she would be in touch. Shes didnt bother. At christmas shr sent a card to all the family saying how we didn't have any 'good will!' I tried to talk to her, left message she didn't respond. Last week was my son's birthday she sent him a card basically saying 'it saddens me that i can't see you, its your mum's problem.' He's 10 and was very upset.
AIBU - to want to respond in a letter to say enough leave my family? My husband just wants me to ignore it.....

She sounds like a total bitch. Saying you had no good will at Christmas!!
Cut her out. She’s a taker!!

I would just send her a reply saying we got your card do NOT contact us again or I will regard it is harassment. Save the reply and the card, then if she does carry on contacting you, ignore and save, then go to the police.

How disgusting she would do that to a child. Tell her you want no more communication, cut her out and report her if she continues to cause your child distress.

Rip the card up and place a sheet of toilet paper in with it. Post it without a stamp so the cunt can go to the post office to collect it. I’m sure she’ll get the message...

She is so jealous of you and your life....sad spinster material....cut her out of your life completely she is nasty x

You're not at all U to want to, but I think it would be wisest not to, but to ignore this woman. Either she's mentally ill (in which case, she may eventually recover; but it's not your job to be her therapist to the possible detriment of your child); or she's just a super-bitch. I would avoid replying to her, and tell your son that this person is not thinking clearly at the moment, and that what she wrote has nothing to do with him, but just her silliness. I am very sorry you and your child have to deal with this. Cold comfort it may be, but at least it's better to have it from an ex-friend who can be ignored than (as some do) from a close relative who often cannot be ignored.

She sounds toxic... stay well clear

Toxic. Let her go, she isn’t behaving like an adult . That’s awful to bring your child into it.

I was the person who always had to have the last word!

Experience has shown me that this doesn’t matter and it is often best to have no word!

Don’t respond, no matter what. If you do, e.g. via text, she may use this against you, with mutual acquaintances and try to make you out to be the bad one, being nasty to poor little her for no reason!
However, do keep all correspondence from her, including this card, if there is any more. Make sure you instil it in your children that they ignore her and don’t speak to her again, just in case she tries to contact them when they are out, coming home from school etc. Just concerned that she may try to approach them if she hasn’t got the reaction she was hoping to get, by sending this card. She knows that they are your weak point (hence sending ds a birthday card) and probably the easiest way to get some type of reaction from you, even if it is you just telling her to f**k off, as any reaction is better than none!

She actually needs to grow up and I don’t think you will have a meaningful and rewarding friendship with her until she has done so.
Some people never do 💐