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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To drink almost a bottle of wine everynight

397 replies

Mum21beauty · 30/04/2019 21:30

I am not reliant on it . I just enjoy it every night though ...

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/04/2019 22:25

Functional alcoholics are usually slim

Yes,,you pretty much never see a fat alkie. Unless it's the stomach bloating /extension when the liver goes.. Normally alcoholics are slim to very thin as they drink their calories.

cherryblossomgin · 30/04/2019 22:25

I meant glasses not classes.

Dustyroad63 · 30/04/2019 22:26

I can't believe the condemnation on here.
If the OP likes a bottle of wine then fair enough. It's her choice and her body.
How many of the holier than thou people saying how disgusting it is eat macdonalds, KFC, cola, aspartame laden squashes, cheap Iceland ready meals, sugar laden doughnuts, cakes etc
I also have a bottle of wine at least 3 nights per week more if we have friends over.

You choose your poison

blue55 · 30/04/2019 22:26

Expensive ... how much do you spend a month on wine?

ChipsAreLife · 30/04/2019 22:28

You need to find another way to relieve your stress. You know this isn't healthy that's why you've posted.
What about yoga? Or some other exercise? Or a hobby?

It's incredibly easy to use alcohol as a crutch which is exactly what you're doing. Whether it's two glasses or two bottles that 'need' means alcohol has a control over you. I used to drink heavily each weekend as stress relief. It wasn't good for me or my family, so I stopped.

Maybe start by cutting it out every other night and see you feel. I must admit I would feel like shit the next morning on that amount these days.

janetforpresident · 30/04/2019 22:28

OP I recently read a book by Allen carr called "the easy way for women to stop drinking ( someone on here on a diffwrent but similar thread recommended it). It has changed my life and the way I view alcohol. I didn't drink as much as you but maybe 2 bottles of wine over a long weekend. I feel now that i was letting alcohol be in control. I would look forward to my drink on a Friday, I would say to myself "ah it's Friday tomorrow I can have a glass of wine" as if that was something to live for. If I couldn't for some reason I would feel sorry for myself. I was motivated by the statistic about 1 bottle of wine a week being equivalent to 10 cigarettes in terms of cancer risk. I wouldn't smoke because of the health risks so why was I drinking?

You think the alcohol relaxes you but actually it doesn't. Its all in your head.

I can't say I am tee total yet as it's only been a few weeks but I just don't want a drink anymore at the moment. Its better than giving up and craving it, I actually don't care about it.

I already feel better for it and I know my liver and my skin will thank me for it and I am increasing my chances of being healthier for longer. (Plus no hangovers or embarrassing moments you wish you could forget)

ThisCoolBean · 30/04/2019 22:28

OP, I completely get you, I was very similar until recently, I could easily put away a bottle a night, it helped to relax me, I loved the taste, it didn't even seem to make me very drunk, it made me happier and helped me cope with stress.

However, unfortunately I had to see someone close go through liver failure and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I really went off of alcohol, not really through will power or anything, just it really didn't seem very appetising all of a sudden. I didn't make a conscious decision to stop, I just kind of stopped drinking, which is something I never thought I'd do.

What's been interesting is that it completely was just a habit! I've found that now I'm doing other things in the evenings, I don't even miss it. The other day I had had a really shit day, and thought I 'deserved' my old friend the plonk. I bought a half bottle of prosecco (previously I would have laughed at a half bottle), as the whole bottles now seemed huge. And weirdly, I didn't even like the taste! I didn't even finish the half-bottle, I had some left in a glass the next morning and I poured the rest away.

This isn't meant to sound preachy in the slightest, it's just been astounding to me how all the things I used to roll my eyes at hearing have turned out to be true. My bottle a night wine habit was just a habit, I don't even really like the taste, and I don't even miss it.

I'm sleeping better, got more money, more energy, someone today asked if I'd lost weight and I've literally not changed my eating at all. All the cliches, both the positive and the negative ones, do seem to be true.

I'd have done the biggest eye roll though if I'd heard all this 3 months ago though.

Patroclus · 30/04/2019 22:29

Yeeh hun, fuck da haterz, lifes 2 short to not die bleeding internally.

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2019 22:30

How many of the holier than thou people saying how disgusting it is eat macdonalds, KFC, cola, aspartame laden squashes, cheap Iceland ready meals, sugar laden doughnuts, cakes etc

To be fair, I've a cola zero habit, but don't do the rest of the shit on your list. I hope I'm not considered holier than though. I like a drink myself, but a bottle a night is excessive snd is indicative,strongly of dependence and early stage alcoholism.

There is no point pretending to thr op, it what it is.

Vanillamanilla1 · 30/04/2019 22:30

strawberrisc
Yes you re probably right. I know it needs to stop and I'm probably going to need outside intervention...but every night ( I know its only night 2 ) but I'm pleased and proud and I feel like shit and will probably feel worse over the next few days but I'm hoping I'll pick up the phone before I pick up the bottle .. I'm hoping I've got this myself but im not afraid NOW to ask for help ...thank you
It's funny because Sunday was my last drink and I never thought I'd suddenly see it for what it was on Monday
I think the mental and physical scared me a little..I couldn't speak properly and I've never had that .. not a drunk speak but I could literally not hear my own words coming out properly... I was ill...not hanging ill but mentally and physically ill...
OP you've posted for a reason ..I think sometimes you maybe a little worried?

goldenchicken · 30/04/2019 22:30

PMSL ^ @Patroclus Clearly kidding.

whittingtonmum · 30/04/2019 22:30

You are drinking too much. That's a fact.

Equally worrying are the excuses and ways you are trying to justify to yourself that you are not drinking too much really (it's 'only' two large glasses - yes - two large glasses are nearly a bottle and that's too much), that you are not dependent on alcohol (you can still be an alcoholic if you 'only' start craving alcohol at a certain time) and that life is stressful and wine helps you relax (nearly all of us on mumsnet will have similar stresses in our lives without most of us resorting to drinking a bottle of wine a day).

The first step here is to acknowledge that you are drinking too much and you should stop.

If you can stop for a couple of months and then start drinking again in moderation (a bottle a day isn't moderation) - that's great.

If you struggle to stop drinking or to significantly reduce your alcohol intake for a good strech of time acknowledge that you have a problem and seek help. Go and see your GP, find a support group and check out the helpful websites others here have recommended.

janetforpresident · 30/04/2019 22:30

I can't believe the condemnation on here
People aren't randomly judging the OP. She has asked for opinions on AIBU. Science tells us that she is damaging her health, she knows this really which I imagine is why she posted.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 30/04/2019 22:30

All this rubbish about units of alcohol - it's bollocks.
My non- drinking sister died (screwed up by her non-drinking abusive partner) at 33. And my relaxed fun easy-going bottle of sherry a day smoking grandad died at 90. Could tell you a million more stories like this. All bollocks.

lunabody · 30/04/2019 22:33

Why are you asking?

If you carry on it will almost certainly cause you health problems. Your body, your decision, although lucky for you the NHS will pick up the bill.

SidekickSally · 30/04/2019 22:33

OP, what made you ask in the first place? Has someone said something or are you beginning to think about it more? Something must have triggered you to ask on here.....

janetforpresident · 30/04/2019 22:35

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad sorry to hear about your sister. That must have been awful at such a young age.

Unfortunately it's not bollocks to say that you are more likely to contract certain cancers or suffer from liver failure if you drink heavily. It's scientific fact.

Your stories of people you know who didn't drink and died doesn't disprove this.

wishingforapositiveyear · 30/04/2019 22:35

That is way too much , can you get a less stressful job?! My friend had a high powered stressful job and drank a bottle of wine a night, more at weekends, she has cirrhosis of the liver now and is only in her 30's.

janetforpresident · 30/04/2019 22:36

*don't

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2019 22:36

(you can still be an alcoholic if you 'only' start craving alcohol at a certain time

Yes, I read up on it as I have as said a couple of female friends who drink heavily.

My understanding is that until in mid stage alcoholism, when it's needed to stave off the physical effects, then the craving in the morning isn't there. Thr craving is for a certain time of night when they must have it. And if they don't have it, or can't get it, they get irritable and they are thinking about it constantly until they do get it.

azulmariposa · 30/04/2019 22:36

Give it up for a month. If you're not an alcoholic then it'll be easy.

VladmirsPoutine · 30/04/2019 22:38

This is the highway to hell. Stop drinking that much OP. If you can resolve to stop then do so - if you can take it or leave it then I'd suggest you leave it. No-one should be drinking close to a bottle of wine a day. If you need help then say so. This is the road to hell OP!

PintOfBovril · 30/04/2019 22:38

OP I think that perhaps a part of you already knows this isn’t doing you any good. The truth is every person is different and you’ll always get exceptions to the evidence - 100 year olds who drink a bottle of whisky a day, and teetotallers who get liver cancer and die at 40. But the truth is, the long term implications of excessive alcohol are pretty grim. I’d really encourage you to seek some support to try to reduce your intake. Did you find pregnancy helped to stop drinking? I know it’s a twee thing to say, but if you didn’t drink for your baby’s sake during pregnancy, try to think about that same baby (your 18mo) in the same protective way.
My father was an alcoholic. He went from a very light occasional drinker, to a bottle of wine a day, to two and onwards - to dead within 10 years. I miss him terribly. I’m not trying to scare you and my experience hasn’t made me give up alcohol entirely. I won’t tell you that booze is the devil. But I have a respect for the fact it’s an easy way to drift down a path you probably don’t want to walk.
Wishing you strength with whatever choices you make and remember you have the ability to make changes if you want them, and you don’t have to do it alone.

TeddybearBaby · 30/04/2019 22:38

What made you ask the question op?

I enjoy a cold white wine. I had a glass tonight while making dinner. I could drink more than I do but I don’t because of health and calories. I make a bottle last me a week. I can totally see why you enjoy it so much. Maybe cut down though just because it’s not so good for you. Your choice obvs!

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2019 22:39

Give it up for a month. If you're not an alcoholic then it'll be easy

In my experience the answer to this is I don't want to. Why should I, I'm not an alcoholic. Every time,

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