Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

[redbedheadd]

Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

The problem here is that the experience varies for everyone so no pony making blanket statements like “Boobs don’t leak once BF is established”. I definitely didn’t have leakage problems in the daytime after BF was established but i did get some leaking at night throughout the 6 months I breastfed. It was a minor inconvenience. Equally my breasts didn’t get too sore if I was feeding regularly but I do remember when we went on a ski trip when he was 6 months old and put him in the crèche (with formula as were mixed feeding by then) my boobs were rock hard and uncomfortable by the end of the day.

I think, cafelatte, that people are responding without any interest in changing your mind personally but for the benefit of people who have yet to make their choices, and to challenge common cultural myths.

No pony- no point!

There is a correlation between the length of breastfeeding a baby and whether the mothers partner's mum (if you all understand, MIL most likely or DP's mum) breastfed, not whether or not the mothers own mother breastfed.

⬆️ This!!!!!!!! With lights and bells on in my house.

Luckily I was adamant that I was going to BF. It’s quite PA as one breath she’s saying how well I’m doing the next it’s snide comments about having saggy boobs when I’m done, about them constantly feeding and wanting me (BF twins) and how she felt left out because she couldn’t feed them. Laughs at me when I sit with my boobs out. Even took a photo of me feeding them to show her sister. She proudly declares she had SMA babies and didn’t even attempt to BF 🙄 It’s definitely an education thing as it’s not even a sane argument. It’s more ‘I couldn’t be arsed and you’re making me look bad and inconveniencing me’

Luckily DH fully supports me and my Dsis is in exactly the same situation as she’s BF an 18 month old and her MIL is the same.

no pony making blanket statements

I did wonder. Perhaps it's the obligatory middle class pony that makes breastfeeding a success (with help from Monty Don).

SoHot

I think, cafelatte, that people are responding without any interest in changing your mind personally but for the benefit of people who have yet to make their choices, and to challenge common cultural myths.

Agree.

If people are embarrassed by seeing somebody breastfeeding, this is an issue with society as a whole that needs changing. The more people see others breastfeeding, the more it is normalised and no longer a cause for shame and embarrassment.

I have no issue with how anyone chooses to feed their child, do what works for you and your baby. But someone refusing to breastfeed purely because they are embarrassed or feel ashamed makes me feel sad. There is nothing remotely shameful about it.

I’m working class, 33 when I had DD who is now 23 months and still breastfed.
Just putting my 2p’s worth in

Sohotadragonretired- true, I'll take that point. Some of what I say does hold provenance though from my own experiences at least. I think if you don't acknowledge the negative aspects however then people are more likely to feel hoodwinked.

And bottle prep- so easy honestly. Takes 1 minute if that.

To add, all my friends are a mixture of working class/lower (?) middle class and all formula fed other than one friend from my antenatal class who is also still breastfeeding.

Cafelatte ,I breast fed three kids for 2 years each. My breats are just fine now, thank you.
How kind of you to deprive your children of the best start in life to save embarressing your family!

Comments like the above though are not helpful for general consensus surely?

No making up bottles at 2am
I don't make up bottles at 2am either. I make them up earlier and get them out the fridge.

*There is a correlation between the length of breastfeeding a baby and whether the mothers partner's mum (if you all understand, MIL most likely or DP's mum) breastfed, not whether or not the mothers own mother breastfed.

⬆️ This!!!!!!!! With lights and bells on in my house.

Luckily I was adamant that I was going to BF. It’s quite PA as one breath she’s saying how well I’m doing the next it’s snide comments about having saggy boobs when I’m done, about them constantly feeding and wanting me (BF twins) and how she felt left out because she couldn’t feed them. Laughs at me when I sit with my boobs out. Even took a photo of me feeding them to show her sister. She proudly declares she had SMA babies and didn’t even attempt to BF 🙄 It’s definitely an education thing as it’s not even a sane argument. It’s more ‘I couldn’t be arsed and you’re making me look bad and inconveniencing me’*

So true!!!!
In laws have made comments about “bitty”, said to DD that “mummy’s playing games with her” because I’m breastfeeding her, even my own family have insinuated I breastfeed because “it’s nice for me” - as she now has a full set of teeth, I can assure you it’s not that fun actually.

I am MC in a very deprived area. Very selfishly I was relieved about this when bf didn't work out for me as I never felt any judgement when ff in public as it is absolutely the norm here and it is rare to see someone bf. The people I know who did bf tended to live in the posher villages around the city so in my experience there is definite correlation.

Cafelatte it takes about 3 seconds to get your boob out, still quicker than making up formula. You’re not going to win that one. It is fair to say that FF is not horrendously inconvenient but it is still marginally less convenient than BF.

WC, living in WC area, EBF both my babies in the 1980s. Neither ever drank anything from a bottle until they discovered alcopops!

I’m sure had I had my DD younger than I did (I was 26) I wouldn’t have breastfed. The MW told me I wouldn’t be able to, and they were really pushing formula.

I was confident enough to refuse and discharged us because I knew it was the stressful environment causing issues.

As it was I bf for 3.5 years.

Interestingly my mother/MIL weren’t able to breastfeed and yet both sets of our parents were incredibly supportive on extended breastfeeding.

I'm not trying to win, I really can't get worked up about the minute it takes to make a bottle though or see it as a big inconvenience 😂

I don't think it's about maternity leave or staying at home. Among my American friends, the majority return to work very soon after giving birth, yet middle class American women are just as likely (or indeed, more likely) to BF as middle class British women. I'm not defending the lack of maternity leaveit makes it very very hard on the womenbut it doesn't seem to stop women breastfeeding if they want to. Breastfeeding just doesn't seem to be very "normalized" among white working class women in the UK, for whatever reasons.

It was definitely more a middle class thing when I bf back in the 80s especially among those, like me, who bf longer than is general.

Having said that, I was an older mother - had first baby at 31 - so I slotted into both the middle class/older mother categories. Most of my friends bf, at least for a while.

My DD also fully bf all her babies, she was in her late 20s when she had her first so also not a young mother I suppose. It just seems something we do in my family, if that makes sense.

Ooooooh I’m MC now, lovely !

I had my DDs abroad in Middle East and there amongst my peers everyone BF, it was really rare to FF - amongst every class there. They actively promote it as well. Interestingly my MIL also BF and so did my SIL so I’ve always felt comfortable with it in their circles as well as they are understanding of what it comes with.

I recently returned to Ireland and I am a bit shocked by not noticing anyone feeding in public (it’s just something you’d notice when you BF yourself I suppose), I do feed when I’m out and about and don’t use a cover either, I’m just wondering where everyone else is .

I know when I had my first at 16 no one expected me to breastfeed. In fact I was actually told “teen mums don’t breastfeed”; however I’m a contrary type, reverse psychology kicked in, and I breastfed for well over a year. Weirdly though the health visitors etc were all pushing me to give bottles . In my social circles now though, the MC mums are more likely to bf, and for longer, although I have met a few more teen bf’ers.

This may be controversial but I see BF and extended BF (which I would class as after the age of 1) as quite different issues, each with their own lists of pros and cons. I’m aware that the WHO recommends 2 years I think.

Personally, extended BF was not for me and I would be uncomfortable with BF a child who could talk. That is just my personal opinion and not really based in any logic. I have no objection to anyone else doing it and I don’t think that many extended BF mothers really care much about encouraging other people to do it.

However breastfeeding a newborn/young baby is a different matter entirely and I do feel strongly that it is a shame that some parts of society, like Cafelatte’s family frown upon it.

Cafe, you didn't want to breastfed , so what?
No need for a list of reasons on why you didn't . Noone care as long as the children are well looked after.

To be fair roisin the OP is specifically asking whether class is a factor in deciding whether or not to BF. Cafelatte listed a number of other factors, none of which were class-based. So she was just answering the question.